Through the looking glass(A Day in the mall)

When I went to the National Defense Academy to do my graduation before my commissioning into the Navy, I do not remember, if my parents spent more than a 1000 bucks and a few postage stamps to get me my sea legs. The amount that we spend on our kids education now, could have got me my own cavalry than. Albeit, my fatigue did not allow me to appreciate the fine faculty that was on the spread with my senses tuned to the porridge and toast. While you may wonder, where this entrée is leading you to, I will change tack, to take you through the main course and serve the sunny side up quickly. I may choose to come back to this after a  small detour of indulgence, if it doesn’t get too long in the weeds.

Going to a mall on a Saturday afternoon is a spectacle of amusement, indulgence, benevolence and sadness. It is like witnessing the supernova from the dark side of the moon. For those with leanings in anthropology, it is an extravaganza from the dark side of the looking glass. Saturdays in a mall, is both a reflective and transparent side of human emotions and a crash course in the evolutionary impulse of this universe, that some may call God. The malls were designed to flip the Maslow’s hierarchy ladder upside down starting from filanthropy, fashion and then finally food(sure you caught that, I am just retaining the ‘F’ word for continuity). We are trading connectedness for correctness, as long you get the drift. Pray you stay with me on that. For the hedonists it starts from the very top of the fare at the food mall passing through the labyrinth of fashion and finally landing into the benevolent arms of philanthropy.

In my recent visit to a mall in my vicinity, I noticed a few things that I want to plate, before I sign off with a sweet and salty dessert for the ‘salted caramel’ types. Foremost, that charity is now pushed down your throat. What was once a touchy feely C2C, became B2C and morphed into B2B2C, chained on brochures, accented pitches and a massive hunt for a messiah to sign on the dotted line. Who says charity is about empathy anymore. it is a business model of targets and aggressive selling. If you enter the mall and look anything like a saint on steroids, the champions of charity will hunt you down to your knees and suck the life blood out of you. Don’t get me wrong, for I appreciate the effort none the less.

The second that gets you in your face is, young graduates selling holiday packages in malls. This to me ,is a colossal waste of talent and a massive run on the national treasury. Demographic dividend going down the drain if you may. Time to take a swipe at what graduation means to this country. Why do we mark up the qualification criteria to make graduation necessary for everything. Education for a degree is over hyped, and someone has to take notice and reign in the raging bull. What was once done by a good matriculate is now done by a substandard graduate. The only difference is that the graduate calculates 20% of 100, about 20µs faster on his calculator which the matriculate had it in his head anyways. The Marwari’s son at the Kirana teaches me a few things every day.

The true purpose of education is to enable you to learn on your own. That point of switchover to me is the 12th standard. You don’t believe me!... look at the combined math syllabus of 11th and 12th grade . Sets, relations and functions, Principles of mathematical induction and all the way to mathematical reasoning, probability and statistics and what have you. Hold your breath…the 12th starts with Inverse trigonometric functions, matrices, and determinants all the way to vectors, derivatives, integrals, linear programming and probability. Well-crafted  to make you a complete man or woman, ready to take on the world. Provided, we don’t see them in the food malls in broad daylight on a weekday.  The point I am making is that 12th is good enough for most of what we do and the three years in the graduation should make them industry ready and employable. If we keep harping that graduates are not employable, whose fault is it. It is not the graduate’s fault, it is our system that gave them the  hymns that don’t rhyme anymore . Graduation should be on industry streams covering the entire spectrum of employment from Agriculture to retail, manufacturing and  Healthcare and all the sectors that you can think about. There may be areas that require deeper level of curriculum like doctors, scientists, AI specialists that require mathematical modelling etc, so be it. Teach them that in graduation if the student opts for that industry or sector. And foremost of all, please teach them communication as an elective. It is more important to define a problem before we solve the problem and that gap is glaring in the country. Once you have the logic and the language, you could pretty much be and learn on your own from there. Anything else that you may wish to learn is your hobby, and the best teachers for that are no longer is schools and colleges. They are on YouTube. I swear!.. go check it out. Collective wisdom of masters on a platter. There was never a better time to learn and master any subject. Why did’nt any teacher teach us the intuition behind the fundamentals like, why the integration of the circumference 2πr leads to the area of the circle πr2. The intuition behind the fundamentals. The net teaches you that better than any teacher. Look at the content on YouTube and compare that with what is peddled in the colleges. Colleges are relics that need repurposing.

 Now what about those that that do not have the means and privilege of education and cannot  graduate. There was a time, not very long back when everyone had to learn a trade or skill under the apprenticeship model. With the breaking of joint family and traditional businesses that model broke down and needs to be brought back to the national consciousness in an innovative avatar. We don’t need to ape the western model. We need our own solutions for a nation that has 20% of the world’s population and counting. It is worth repeating, that a nation of 1.4 billion does not need to confirm to others but rather create policies and standards for others to emulate.

Finally movies @ 400 a piece and pop corns at a princely sum give the icing to this extravaganza. A capitalistic view on this “ It is not expensive, it is just that you cannot afford it”. Coming from the southern part of India, where the movies have masses and heroes are worshipped, this is beyond the reach of the average bloke. Sad, but true that this pricing model does not make a super star that is larger than life, whose cut outs are seen and felt by all and not relegated to the four walls of the mall. For the masses that created stardom, this is a touch he can’t make and a reach for which he is too short. Super stars are made in hinterlands of India and stories need to reflect that heart of India. Scripts that fit into the empty popcorn paper bags are seen in the trash bags after the first weekend. I have witnessed fan clubs clashing on the side lanes of the hallways when a rival star’s film is released. Those days are passe. So long as the gates of this garrison are shut to the foot soldier, the fortress will fall to the first peck of the woodpecker and stars will dwarf in the galaxy of garrulous gum & gloss.

I don’t want to sound cynical and sad and end with a positive note. The last thing on my list is fashion. The one thing that warms the cockles of my heart is that fashion is no longer the privy of the rich. Every Bozo has a mojo and every chic has the charm.

When you lumber out of the sparkle, it’s a sweaty dog day afternoon. A brown Labrador has messed the small pavilion, setup outside the mall by an aspiring brand. Before the traffic lights blind me, I get into the metro to see two daily wagers, with their spades, hammers and trowels enjoying the ride in a comfortable air-conditioned metro compartment. Inclusivity, exclusively brought to you by the Mumbai metro. Much appreciate the ride…. Thankyou.

……………See you again “through the looking glass”….....................