Tips for Having Difficult Conversations

Think about the climate that we live and work in…..many have coined it an Era of Disruption, a polarizing environment, the decade of “movements,” and the most globally diverse workforce ever. With all of these realities, leaders must be armed with the tools and skills on how to lead across these differences, and that means sometimes having difficult conversations.

In addition to managing poor performance, disengaged workers, violations of company policies, an area that causes great consternation for leaders is how to address sensitive topics such as race, gender, religion, politics, sexual orientation, disability and the like.

As a Chief Diversity & Inclusion Officer and an HR Executive, I’ve dealt with countless issues such as these. Here’s a recent example. I was coaching a male leader who had an employee that was the only female of color on an all-male team. She complained to him that she felt overlooked for promotions, was excluded from team activities, and she was demeaned in meetings by her male counterparts. He was uncomfortable having a conversation with her about her complaint because of her gender and ethnicity.

Here is a checklist of tips that I shared with him on how to deal with this issue. It is also how I have coached countless other leaders on how to handle similar issues:

 ·  Create a safe space by building trust and rapport

·  Practice active and humble listening

·  Suspend judgement and assume positive intent

·  Be clear about what you want to achieve in the conversation

·  Stick to the facts and avoid opinions

·  Lean in to your discomfort and admit that you don’t know but are seeking understanding

·  Practice empathy

·  Avoid debate and defensiveness

·  Involve HR--This is an important tip. While leaders have to deal with these kinds of sensitive issues, it is always a good idea to get HR involved because the nature of the complaint was about the worker’s employment rights being violated. In this example, I coached the leader to do just this.

Having difficult conversations are a part of every leader’s job--the one that they often avoid!! When leaders don’t handle it appropriately, it can lead to a negative outcome. But where difficult conversations are openly addressed and people feel heard, listened to and the issue is resolved, the result can be a win-win.

Think of a recent difficult conversation you had. What worked well and what could you have done differently using some of the tips just shared?

Check out my LinkedIn Learning course on "Inclusive Leadership" for more tips and strategies here: https://lnkd.in/e8g48ga

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