Too many C-suite matches aren’t standing the test of time. Why chemistry matters in interviewing, not just dating

Maybe I should chalk it up to the pandemic or maybe Mercury is in retrograde, but for the first time in decades I’m hearing—both from companies and individuals—about an unusually high number of mismatches. What do I mean by mismatches? I’m talking about C-suite hires in which one party concludes, rather early on, that they have made the wrong choice. The realization that something is amiss seems to go on between two and 12 months in, a far cry from the 5.2–year average tenure of a CFO. 

As a  recruiter, I can tell you this is not only disappointing, it’s tremendously destabilizing—both for the company and the employee. While these unhappy pairings are not of my doing, I empathize with all involved. 

I’ve always said that there is an art and science to the search process. Yes, it is absolutely necessary that qualified candidates have the relevant skills and experience to fit a position. But that’s just the starting point. It’s equally important to make sure there is a strong culture fit.  More often than not, it’s because of a cultural clash that a situation turns sour.  

It’s a lot like dating and marriage. When I was 25, before I’d even met the man I would marry, I made an Excel spreadsheet enumerating everything that I was looking for in my “perfect mate.” A few years later, during my best friend’s toast at my wedding, she gleefully reminded me—and the entire room—not only of the existence of said list but also of its one huge omission: A Sense of Humor. There are countless reasons that I fell in love with Colin – and continue to adore him to this day. But none is quite as key as his brilliant sense of humor.  

Why am I sharing this embarrassing story? First, to warn you against making Excel spreadsheets about what makes for a perfect mate. More importantly, to urge you to ask the kinds of questions that enable you to get at what really matters. Whether you’re considering a candidate or trying to decide if a company is a good fit for you, you need to dig into cultural issues so that you can see whether there is real alignment in terms of lifestyle, work style, and management style. 

From the corporate side, it’s vital to get a range of perspectives on a potential hire. One of the things I always do when I’m working on references is talk to a diverse group of people so I can get a full picture of any given candidate. What does that look like? I talk to the candidate’s peers, people who report to them, and people they report to. I also do my best to make sure I am talking to people who don’t look like or have the same background as the candidate. In particular, I’ve found that women’s experiences are often different from men’s.

From the candidate side, before you accept a position, make sure you have a chance to talk to prospective colleagues. Ask about how the CEO operates in terms of expecting people to be on call or responsive after hours or outside of work; about what they enjoy most about working at the company; about what they find most challenging about the company and culture; about how people get along at the company—is it competitive or collegial? More and more companies are distributed around the world; candidates need to understand what that means logistically. Depending on the role, people may want to ask about when team calls happen, how often teams meet in-person versus virtually, and what the expectations are around travel. 

Having candid conversations can be uncomfortable. Women especially have been conditioned to accept what they’re offered and not ask too many questions. But as with so many aspects of being female, speaking up for what you want is as important in a job search as it is in a marriage.

One of my close friends from graduate school, and the first of our group to get engaged, learned this lesson the hard way. She made no secret that she had always wanted to wear her beloved grandmother’s antique engagement ring. Nevertheless, her financé insisted on a six-prong platinum solitaire from Tiffany’s that he loved but she hated. It took her two months to build up the courage to tell him that she didn’t want to keep the ring that he had chosen. For me, this underscored that if you can’t have an uncomfortable conversation before entering into a serious relationship, it might mean tougher times are ahead.

The bottom line is that it’s important to ask questions and do your due diligence. That means being thorough in the vetting process. Being honest about what you want in a candidate (it might not be listed on a piece of paper) and what you want in a company (it might not be in the job description). Lastly, be brave. If you can’t ask hard questions at the beginning of the process, it’s probably not going to work out. 

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