Trauma in Business

Trauma can show up in ways you never expect. Did you ever think it would be a player in business? In a world where we're taught to keep professional life and personal life separate, trauma making a cameo in your work day can be especially jarring. As a heart-centered business owner who loves her boss (still a fan of that joke), it shocked me when I realized how "BIG T and little t" trauma are still impacting me.

Trigger Warning

In this space, I like to inspire. Though sometimes it takes practice, a few falls, and a coach to properly sashay in stilettos. Out of respect for survivors, this is a trigger warning.

My first experience with abuse was at three years old. It kicked off a lifelong unhealthy relationship with men. Then there were the mixed messages I received in a Latinx family, the youngest of three daughters. Despite being in community of mainly women, the few men were treated like kings. People even called my dad "Number One." My parents wanted to empower us with messages like "be a leader, not a follower." Simultaneously hearing, "what happens in the family, stays in the family." Then being rewarded for keeping quiet and maintaining a smile. 

The Pattern Continues

Years later I found a career in travel and hospitality as a sales professional. Now I was being paid to smile, to people please, and to keep quiet if it didn't benefit the business. Men in positions of power would look at me like I was prey. Because of trauma, I just smiled. They would say things so inappropriate that it would make you blush. And it would definitely shock their wives.

Others made racist comments to me, about me with a smile on their face and a joyous tone as if I was in on the joke. These men used their words and their power to cut me down to the smallest version of myself. Then they would promote or hire white women who were equally or less qualified, keeping me "in my place". Since abuse was not new to me, I simply took it. Somehow, I thought it was my fault.

Is the Customer Really Always Right?

In a people pleasing business, things can get blurry. When a top client places his hand on your rear after a few drinks at dinner, you have to decide whether to give up the account or simply suck it up. Or when you're on a sales trip and a potential client mistakes drinks for a date, even though you've been clear about your partner. Then he gets angry when you want to leave, refuses to let you take an Uber to your hotel, and proceeds to drive slowly through side streets leaving you to wonder if you'll make it back at all.

What if I had someone to talk to that's only role was to support me? Not a therapist or counselor, though I highly recommend these services. But someone who cared about my professional life, growth, and mental wellness. A person that didn't have a stake in the company's internal dynamics. Who didn't require that I fill out paperwork and then eventually be told management "didn't mean it" with no repercussions except my discomfort. Maybe that trauma pattern would have been caught early in my career.

Now imagine a coach who teaches team members how to set boundaries. Someone who understands the nuances of the service industry, cares about the individual, and wants the business to succeed, too. If a company offered this level of support, wouldn't you want to stay longer? Deloitte recently shared that “a coaching culture is the practice that's most highly correlated with business performance, employee engagement, and overall retention,” and companies considered high-impact leadership organizations “spend 1.5–3 times more on management development than their peers.”

 According to a study by the Center for American Progress, companies with highly engaged employees are 21% more profitable.

Now I'm a business owner and trauma still follows me. Lara Waldman , the Abundance Accelerator, opened my eyes to how it's impacting my money beliefs. Here I am running a business that I'm proud of, living a professional and personal life aligned with my values, and doing good in the world. Yet these men still live in my subconscious. It's because of them that I unknowingly have been playing it small. Because if I go bigger, then I need to face the abusers. Not the ones that directly hurt me, but the cis hetero white men in power who I've been seeing as threats to my safety. That ends today.

How Trauma Can Inspire Change

As I'm writing this article, I'm mentally debating with my fear of sharing all of this. Is LinkedIn the right platform? Then I remember Inspired Journey Consulting's vision and why I started this business in the first place. This silence has to stop if we're going to create healthy work cultures, mental wellness, and happier lives.

Our vision is to create a world where marginalized people feel empowered to be their authentic selves and where traveling is a common tool for healing and inclusion. IJC aims to enhance the cultural wellness in the travel industry, grow emotional intelligence, healing, and self-care for a kinder humanity.

It's because of my healing journey, time in wellness travel, and the opportunity to connect with healers that I can shine in my brilliance. And if you feel inspired to take care of yourself, your business, or your team, I'm here to help. Let's change the world.