Truth #1: You Can't Change Anyone Except Yourself
Ria Story, Leadership Speaker, Author, Trainer
Climb The Ladder of Influence® and Become the Leader You are Destined to Be.® | Author of 15 Books | Keynote Speaker | TEDx Speaker | Leadership Trainer | Survivor Advocate
THE LADDER OF INFLUENCE provides a powerful, yet simple framework to help you realize the practical steps you can take to increase your influence with the people around you: friends, family, followers, co-workers, your boss, team members, community members, children, and even spouses. (Or, ex-spouses!)
There are three truths you must know. (We'll address the first one in this newsletter and the other two in upcoming newsletters.)
Truth #1: You Can't Change Anyone Except Yourself
This isn’t about how to change others, fix others, or make other people listen to you. This is about accepting responsibility for what you can change. And then, having the courage, making the choice and taking the action to do so.
Most of the time, you can increase your influence with someone. However, you must stop blaming them and start working on what you can change – yourself.
This is not easy to do. The reason we blame other people is it’s easy. If it’s “their fault,” then we don’t have to do anything to improve the situation. We blame others because there is only one alternative. The moment we stop blaming others is the moment we must accept responsibility.
“Influence is ultimately an outcropping of trust - the higher the trust, the greater the influence." ~ Dale Carnegie
Humans naturally want to externalize blame. But, that doesn’t serve us. What if we always believe it’s up to the other person to change the situation, but they never do? The greatest limiting belief is the victim mindset.
Playing the victim will not take you forward in life. Playing the victim won’t help you be successful. Playing the victim won’t allow you to realize your potential, fulfill your purpose, or achieve your goals. Avoid the victim mindset at all costs. You cannot change everything, but you always have the power to change yourself. Find the courage to change yourself, and develop the wisdom to understand that changing yourself changes the world. Your world.
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Experienced business development professional clinical research Phase I to Phase IV.
1yGreat post, thanks a lot.
Preventative Psychiatrist | Wellness Coach | Researcher in Aging & Wellness | Author | Founder of GENEXT INC | Host of Wellness Artist PODCAST.
1yThanks for the value add Ria!. I love Dale Carnegie Quote “Influence is ultimately an outcropping of trust - the higher the trust, the greater the influence."
L6 Operations Manager @ Amazon | Driving Strategic Growth, High-Performing Cultures & Bottom-Line Results | Experienced Leader in Logistics, Supply Chain & Distribution | Developing Leaders Who Deliver Results
1y“You cannot change everything, but you always have the power to change yourself.” Favorite line! Aways have control over yourself if nothing else.
Developing the Blue-Collar Workforce and those who lead them.®│Author of 15 Books│Leadership Speaker│Trainer
1yThose who choose to live life with a victim mindset should expect to be left behind by those who don’t. Keep climbing!