Tweaking How I Live at 50: Better Late Than Never

Ever feel like you're not living life on your terms?

As if you're playing a part in a script written by your parents, relatives, dear ones, or even society? If you're nodding, you're not alone.

We grow up conditioned to care about others' opinions, often putting our desires on the back burner. But what if you flip the script, mainly if that's the only way you've lived?

Sounds counterintuitive, right? Well, hear me out!

The Half-Century Awakening

Last month, I turned 50. A milestone, they say.

Friends and family asked, “How does it feel?”

I had no answer, but it got me thinking about how I want to live the rest of my life: on my terms.

Growing up in a semi-conservative, middle-class family, I spent half my life worrying about others. We’re trained to think this way from a young age. First, it’s about making our parents proud. Then it’s about fitting in with friends, impressing our spouses, and being good role models for our kids. And let’s not forget the relatives, close friends of the family, and others. It’s exhausting.

Picture this: You're at a family gathering, and an elder relative comments on what you should do or how you should act. You smile and nod, but inside, you cringe. Why?

Why should you choose a path others thought was right for you, not what you truly wanted?

Sound familiar?

I’ve lived that way for far too long. This year, I decided to make a change: I will "prioritize myself."

No, that doesn’t mean I will stop caring about others. It means I will do what I want without obsessing over what others think.

For my readers from other cultures, this is a no-brainer. But growing up in India, it’s a big deal. We’re taught to put others first, almost always.

Think about it: How much time and energy do you fritter away worrying about others’ opinions? What if you used that energy doing what you love? Imagine the freedom of making choices based on your desires, not others' expectations.

A friend of mine spent years in a job he hated because it was prestigious. He was miserable but didn’t leave because of what others might think. One day, he took the plunge, quit his job, and started his own business. Today, he’s happier than ever.

Was it easy? No. Was it worth it? Absolutely.

So, why did he do it? Why would anyone do such a thing?

Why do we let others dictate our lives? Fear of judgment, perhaps. Fear of being different. But here’s the thing: People will judge you no matter what. So why not live in a way that makes you happy?

Living Authentically

If you’ve almost always put others first, it’s time to think differently and think about yourself.

It doesn’t mean you don’t care about others. It means you value yourself enough to live authentically. Don’t let life pass you by because you’re too busy worrying about what others think.

Live life on your terms. And if that causes others to judge you, so be it.

Don’t lose out on the present and future worrying about that.

Time is not in your hands. It’s one life. Live it to the brim. Or close to it.