Unbreakable Mom Who Lost Her Husband in the War: “I Started a Support Group to Help People Like Me”
37-year-old Katya Veselova from Kryvyi Rih participated in the Unbreakable Mom psycho-emotional stabilization program by the Masha Fund. Following this, she worked as an animator at the project's camp. She then applied for the Leaders of Change facilitator training program, supported by the USAID project Strengthening Public Trust (UCBI). She now conducts peer-to-peer support groups in her hometown of Kryvyi Rih. We would like to share the inspiring journey of this strong, energetic, and vibrant woman.
“My husband, Zhenya, and I met on a dating website. When he first called me, I was talking nonsense and feared he thought I was crazy [laughs]. So, I wrote to him, assuring him that I was normal. Those words made him laugh. Before long, I became a Veselova.
For years, I worked in a circus group at our local House of Culture, organizing various events. Even in the ninth month of my pregnancy, I held a wedding. My husband and I often joked that this was why our son is such a daredevil—because even before he was born, he lived a very active life!
When the great war began, Zhenya was working abroad. He returned to Kryvyi Rih just four days later. Together, we tried to enlist in the Territorial Defense military unit because we wanted to help. However, they turned us away due to an overwhelming number of people. Zhenya subsequently enlisted, while I helped everyone I could, I gathered supplies for displaced people and founded a small charity fund to support the military.
In the fall of 2023, the devastating news came that Zhenya went missing. His body was discovered a month later; he had died near Robotino in the Zaporizhzhia region.
At Zhenya's burial, our son did not cry. He held back his for months, understanding everything but unable to express it. The first time he was able to cry was during the Unbreakable Mom program. This experience transformed us both and brought us closer together. It felt like I could breathe again; I started wanting to do more—to help others even more! Now, I occasionally participate in the Unbreakable Mom as an animator. Thanks to my background in the studio, I can perform acrobatics with the children, stage dances, and even teach women to belly dance. Initially, they are hesitant to dance, but they leave the class with sparkling eyes! In one session, I choreographed a waltz for teenage boys and their mothers. One woman thanked me profusely, sharing that she had always dreamed of dancing the waltz with her husband, who had died in the war. They never had the chance... Now she was dancing with her son. I cried a lot.
Even before joining the Leaders of Change, I had been contemplating starting a support group called Anonymous IDPs in Kryvyi Rih. I witnessed how challenging it was for internally displaced persons (IDPs) to adapt to a new environment, to rebuild their lives, and to find their footing. I realized I lacked the necessary knowledge. When I learned about the Leaders of Change program for facilitating support groups, I felt it was destiny. Winning a scholarship to conduct groups was not the goal for me; firstly, I needed knowledge to start helping others!
At the first meeting of the "peer-to-peer" group for women experiencing loss, only two people attended. Initially, I was disheartened and even upset. However, after an hour and a half, as we said goodbyes, those women expressed that they hadn’t felt so calm in a long time. I understood then that even if I only helped two people, it was still significant! As time passed, our numbers grew. I even established two additional resource groups. These groups have become my life. Thanks to the Unbreakable Mom program, where I received support, and the Leaders of Change program, where I learned how to assist, I now possess various practices, exercises, and, most importantly, the understanding of how to ease someone’s psycho-emotional state. I know how to console them, help them believe in a brighter future, relieve stress, and where to find the strength to continue living and working. During meetings, we inspire one another, and it gives me goosebumps!
While working as an animator in the Unbreakable Mom program, I also took art therapy courses. After completing the Leaders of Change program, I enrolled in a practical psychology correspondence course. The Masha Fund has changed my life and continues to support me to this day. In turn, I support our women.”
One of the Masha Fund's goals is to empower Ukrainians to help themselves and others during challenging and stressful times by teaching self-regulation. This is why we launched the Leaders of Change project—a training program to enhance emotional resilience within communities. We expanded this initiative to include graduates from all of Masha Fund’s projects. We train women to facilitate support groups and provide scholarships to help them start such groups in their local villages and cities.
We encourage you to support us on our website.