Underestimated

Upon initial impression of most people she meets, my daughter is a sweet 16-year-old teenager. She’s kind, caring, soft-spoken, humble, and empathetic. Earlier this year, I wrote about her in The Ultimate Complement, saying, “Jarah is already a compassionate servant leader, and it didn’t happen by accident. She’s an imperfect girl with imperfect parents who take very seriously their responsibility to raise her to live a virtuous life and take seriously her civic responsibility. She is also shaped by other people and factors, some good and some bad.” I’m so proud that she’s learned to be underestimated at a young age.

Her high school recently launched a girls wrestling program and it’s quickly emerged as her favorite sport. Her teammates voted her one of the two team captains as a sophomore. Her unassuming, underestimating persona is serving her well in the sport, as it is in life.

How many people set a goal to be underestimated? In today’s culture, evidently not too many. To be underestimated means to be smaller or less important than you actually are. On the contrary, it seems like the “unsilent majority” is consumed by being bigger, louder, and more important than they are.

• Being underestimated is not thinking less of yourself, but rather thinking of yourself less and others more.
• Being underestimated is exhibiting inner strength, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
• Being underestimated is understanding your value is intrinsically linked to who you are in God’s eyes, not what you do, not what status role you achieve in life. Sadly, many of us succumb to the temptation of allowing ourselves to be influenced by a culture that places greater value on the latter.

The best leaders are those who are underestimated. They uncommonly live a common life. Such an easy thing to say, but so hard to do. It’s like the difference between “book smart” and “street smart.” What good is knowing something in your head without putting it into practice? If you desire to be underestimated, then you need to start living your life that way. You have to swim against the cultural current. You have to be a cultural contrarian.

The difference between your success and failure is 18 inches. That’s about the distance between your mind and your heart. The consequences are meaningful. It’s the difference between feeling empty and being fulfilled. It requires that you live convinced of the overwhelming ability of God to move and work in your life.

I’ve developed a system to help. It’s called The Fordriven System®. It will teach you to become underestimated.

• You will learn to love yourself and your “neighbor.”
• You will learn to forgive and move on.
• You will learn to be strong by bearing the failings of the weak and not being consumed with pleasing yourself.
• You will learn to please your neighbor for their good, to build them up.
• You will learn to bear the brunt of the insults from others who insult them.

You will learn to lead by being underestimated.

This post was originally published on June 7, 2020, and is republished today with a new beginning and minor enhancements.