The Value of Family Values parmi des Vipères vs. Bonnes Femmes: Observations of a CSO Rep at IMF/WB Spring Mtgs – Part 25

As see in my last blog, The Value of Family Values in Women vs. Ladies – Part 24, Expat Wives Clubs are not fulfilling their mandates, as well as promoting social conservatism, oppression of women and children, as well as corporate greed and corruption. However, FAWCO and IMFFA are not alone in promoting the afore mentioned. The second largest nationally-based, global network of Expat Wives Clubs in the world is FIAFE (Fédération Internationale des Accueils Français et francophone à l’Etranger) and as seen in the text below, this organization is plagued with the same archaic management styles as FAWCO (as well as the IMF Family Association, IMFFA).

For many years within Expat Wives Clubs I have fought archaic, antiquated mentalities, as well as women who were more interested in photo-shoots, and receptions in the Embassies, (or the MDs office and with Anne Sinclair) than in actually helping their constituency. My favorite story was the year I had the dubious honor of serving as President of Bogota Accueil—the FIAFE chapter in Bogota. A synopsis of the story is provided below, with a full account posted here.

Presidency of Quenby Wilcox, Bogota Accueil 2002-2003

Briefly, after many years of serving on the board of Bogota Accueil, and having refused to run as president in the past, I agreed to run as president. When the post had been vacated several years before, many people had approached me about running. However, I never agreed to run because I knew an American would never be “accepted” as the president of a French organization, particularly a French ‘Expat Wives Club.’ And, eventually two French women agreed to run as president and vice-president so the problem was solved. I had and extremely busy life between my volunteer work and jewelry-making classes in the morning, my kids in the afternoon, and my social calendar with non-stop lunches, dinners, and receptions in relation to my “job” of expat trailing-spouse. I am an American-French dual national, and my ex-husband is a dual national Spanish-French, with both of us naturalized French citizens, but not of pur souche origin...

I always had lots of ideas of what could be done with Bogota Accueil, or any of the expat associations, with which I was involved, but my input was never welcome anywhere. The president when I entered the board, was an older socially-conservative woman, who clearly never encouraged any kind of openness or free thought in the board meetings.  When that woman left, I had had hopes that the incoming president and vice-president, who were younger, would be open to new ideas and projects. My hopes were squashed in the very first board meeting with the two new younger (mais de pur souche) French women, who I was to learn had only agreed to become president and vice-president  in order to “save” Bogota Accueil from the demise of having an Amerloque as president.

The “reprieval” only lasted a few years, as the president’s husband was transferred back to headquarters in Paris, and the vice-president begrudgingly served out the remaining term; at which point I was obligated to volunteer as president. I had done everything except gotten down on my hands and knees to one of the wives of the president of a large French multi-national in Colombia to run as president, instead of me. I even offered to run as vice-president, she as president, and I promised (crossed my heart hope to die, promise) that I would do all the work. All they had to do as president was preside at official functions, and come to enough board meeting to make it legal. I knew I could run the organization, but I also knew I needed a pur souche French woman to “legitimize” my authority on the board by serving as president, even in title only, with me assuming the responsibilities and workload. The ‘Expat Wives Clubs’ are increasingly having problems finding volunteers for their boards—particularly presidents—because it is a lot of work, for no money. And, this was exactly the situation in Bogota.

Presidencyships of Expat Wives Clubs is no longer the enviable sought after position it once was. The aftermath of WWII was the heyday of these organizations. And, presidencyships were highly prized positions within the expat communities, with Embassies and multinationals opening their doors and pocket-books for these organizations and the local charities they sponsored. Not only have the expat communities changed, but the entire matrix has changed. The world is no longer polarized economically or politically, with the Third World countries and their colonial structures creating much demand for highly sought after presidencyships of Expat Wives Clubs which had great power in developing and directing social networks within the expat community, as well as their interaction with local communities.

In their heyday, many of the women on these boards had an entourage of help in their homes, as well as help from the staff under their husbands in the office. Of course, what this structure attracted was queenships filled with intrigues and conspiracies—with a strong influence on who knew who, and who knew what in the expat community as well as local upper-classes. Since Third World countries were the exception rather than the rule in post WWII and Europe was in ashes, the Americans were on top of the proverbial colonial totem pole. At that time the Federation of American Women’s Club (FAWCO), was the only Expat Wives Club global structure in existence, and were heavily influenced by colonialism, and in later decades by social conservatism. 

While both of the women I had been lobbying to become president were conservative, and I knew they would not be willing to change any of the programs or activities Bogota Accueil offered—which was a shame, at least they were both good candidates. Not only were they pur souche French, they also had the personal knowledge and experience needed; as well as the fact that their husbands were presidents of two of the largest French multinationals in the country. Finally, one of these women agreed to step in as president. That was until the out-going president and her entourage got in a cat-fight with this woman, who understandably dropped out of the race, leaving me with the booby-prize. 

I so, so did not want to run as president, particularly since the incoming board included several vipers whose husband’s worked at the French Embassy, and a friend of mine whose husband worked there, had warned me about...

Unfortunately, at the time Ingrid Betancourt was promoting her book and launching her presidential candidacy in Bogota, and I had the subversive idea that it would be the perfect opportunity for Bogota Accueil, to have her speak to the French community—who unfortunately were not being very supportive of Ingrid. I had gone to her book launching and first presidential campaign event, and was dismayed to see very few French, or other expats, in attendance.

While the out-going president at first agreed with my idea, when she got together with the other board members, they all decided that this was in violation of the non-political position of the organization, and were scandalized by my subversive idea. (I thought this ridiculous. I was not proposing a $10,000-a-plate, fund-raising dinner, sponsored by Bogota Accueil—just a speech.) So I told Ingrid’s sister, Astrid, that I would host something personally at my home and invite the French expat community there, so Bogota Accueil would not be involved at all. Ingrid was kidnapped in the interim, so I never was able to organize anything. However, it did give the vipers amongst the group more ammunition for how “highly unacceptable” I was as president of Bogota Accueil—with my subversive and highly unorthodox ideas. 

So before I was even voted in as president (with 3 votes en blanche), the ambiance within the incoming board members resembled more of a war zone, than a social group charged with task of “welcoming” French families to Bogota. The two women whose husbands worked at the French Embassy proceeded to trash my good name to anyone in the French community who would listen, and after a particularly turbulent annual gala dinner of the association (a month after the elections, changed from before the elections by the out-going president), the vipers called an emergency board meeting requesting my “abdication.”

When I refused to “abdicate,” they called for a vote by the board to oust me (along with one of the vocales on the board, that they didn’t “like,”). The vocale in question was a woman that these vipers had requested I kick off the board a week after the elections. They had never liked that I had defied them, and had never wanted this particular vocale on the board in the first place. When the vipers had requested that I oust the vocale, I told them in no uncertain terms, that I did not have the power to do such a thing, nor would I be involved in any such subversive, and highly immoral activities. In response, I sent a copy of the by-laws to all board members to please read them thoroughly—without indicating why I was making a request for obvious reasons. 

By afternoon, my illegal “impeachment” as president had made its way around the Embassy people, and my friend who had warned me about the vipers in the first place, saw me while picking up our children at school. She came running up to me shouting “C’est un coup d’etat! C’est un coup d’etat! Je t’avais dit ! Ces filles-la sont rein d’autres que des vipers! Bien fait pour elle. Laisse-les dans leurs merdes ! Bogota Accueil va se couler sans toi!” I laughed, but unfortunately, I knew what she said was true. Anything left of a semblance of an organization would be destroyed by these two vipers by the end of the year.

Then, my friend (and even my husband), got mad at me when I accepted to return as president the next day. The vipers had been told by the revisor fiscal of the association that what they had done was totally illegal. If they wanted to oust me out, they had to have a reason, and call an extra-ordinary meeting of the association for a vote for my impeachment. So they recanted, and asked me to return. Shortly thereafter, the two vipers resigned, and the association was left without a vice-president or secretary. The unliked vocale became secretary, but in the process I had lost any kind of power and authority, I might have had to initiate any new ideas or energy into the association. So I kept the association afloat, and found a new French expat woman to come in as president the next year—telling her “it’s really not a lot of work.” After the elections, however, I told her “You are one of the few people I have ever lied to. This is a lot of work.” She responded, “It’s ok. I knew you were lying when you told me.” And, we both laughed.

Unfortunately, what is a lot of work in these organizations is dealing with the back-stabbing, cat-fights that go on. The ‘Expat Wives Clubs’ structure has so much potential of providing the assistance the expat families need, if this petty back-stabbing culture that it so engenders can be removed from the equation. And, is exactly what Global Expats is all about. See the following (with links to the following presentations 1) Global Expats: Concept & Structure, 2) Trailing Spouse and Expats Family: Challenges and Solutions, and 3) Global Expats Business Plan)...