Voices of Race: Yvonne So, OCA Greater Phoenix Chapter

Voices of Race, a portrait series by Kathleen Dreier Photography, is dedicated to amplifying the voices of our BIPOC communities and being a call of action to white people to be social change agents.

With Yvonne So, Board Chair, OCA Greater Phoenix Chapter:

"Momming during the pandemic takes on a new definition. On good days, It’s a circus level juggling act that’s wobbly at times, but ultimately comes together. On a bad day I’m publicly shamed to a google classroom of kindergarteners as my son unmutes his mic and declares “my mom yells at me and says I stress her out!”

I am, in fact, stressed out. I’m one mom trying to manage the lives, and now schooling, of three boys while navigating a society that feels more pernicious, socially unjust, and divided. How do I explain this to them without ranting? How do I protect them without blinding them? How do I guide these boys so they eventually thrive socially and academically from this period of their lives?

It is widely noted that Asian American Pacific Islanders face a “twin pandemic;” while our nation emerges from the darkest grips of COVID-19, the racist assault on my community continues to spread and mutate this virus of hate. When national media reported the COVID-19 virus originated in Wuhan, China, I braced myself, as I had in every other period of my life, for the racism, scapegoating and foreigner labeling that would inevitably ensue. I grew up outside New York City in the 1980s, a time when our nation was fraught with anti-Japanese sentiment. Being heckled as a “Jap '' was commonplace, as was people slanting their eyes and bucking their teeth at me like they were somehow serving as my mirror. I grew up knowing the lethal consequences of showing up unannounced with a face like mine. In 1992, Yoshihiro Hattori, a Japanese exchange student was gunned to death in Baton Rouge, Louisiana for knocking on the wrong house for a Halloween party. My sons know not to sneak up on people, even neighbors, because Yoshi’s death casts a long shadow. Forty years later, “Jap” is swapped with “Chink” as to mark the emergence of a new enemy. 

I am Chinese-American, and my great-grandfather was part of the first wave of Chinese immigration to Western Canada. I am also a modern reminder of how our country’s exclusionary laws, enacted 150 years ago, have very modern consequences. I was naturalized at 20, despite growing up in New York. In the years up to 20, I was categorized first as “alien,” and then “resident alien” when I got my green card at 13. This all because I was born in Switzerland to Canadian parents. As a result, my sons are the first generation of Americans in my family, even though we have roots in North America since the late 1800s. I celebrate my hyphenated identity; I am honored to descend from an over 4,000 year old civilization and feel truly blessed to live in this Land of the Free. I have had the privilege to call 8 American cities home. I lived in El Paso, a vibrant border city with a 17% non Hispanic population. One morning, my mom's group of predominantly White moms lamented about being minorities in our own country. I replied “welcome to my world, ladies!”

I write this as my sons sleep. They’ve turned in their day's assignments, my house is uncharacteristically quiet, and I’m finally in the office alone. After tidying their school supplies, and setting up their stations for tomorrow, I’m trying to organize my own thoughts. I type with the hope that the feelings in my heart translate to a voice that awakens compassion in others. How do I convey pride, fear, disappointment and hope? How do I weave my words so they are persuasive and relatable? Maybe if my words are impactful enough, maybe if I appeal to our shared humanity, you will care. And yet this has been my battle throughout my life. Maybe if I study hard enough, I will get into a good university. Maybe if I laugh off being the “token Asian female” on the trading floor, I will rise to become a wolf of Wall Street. Maybe if I build enough bridges, someone will want to cross them. Maybe."

More information here:

Voices of Race or message Kathleen Dreier on LinkedIn

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