Walking into the unknown with Ruchi Singh

Can you imagine your spouse slapping or kicking, or worse, choking you for no obvious reason? Can you imagine your partner purposely destroying your self-esteem with persistent humiliation? Could you imagine your loved one preventing you from talking to people unless you have their permission?

Perhaps, No! Right?

And yet, this is the reality of millions of people trapped in domestic violence and abuse. Statistics reveal that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men are subjected to emotional, physical, sexual, and psychological abuse at least once in their life. Majority suffer in silence, afraid to voice their pain out of fear of safety or judgment.

My guest today is one strong, powerful lady who refused to play the part of a victim of domestic violence. I am honored to introduce you to my fourth guest for ‘Walking into the Unknown Series,’ Ruchi Singh, a Motivational speaker, Mindset Coach, YouTuber, Social Media Consultant, and a soon-to-be Author. Ruchi created her social media handle, RuchiSinghTalks, with the sole purpose of encouraging and motivating people around the globe.

Question: When did you decide to walk into the unknown?

Ruchi: Life is made up of moments, and then there are certain moments which come in your life, and they somehow change the rest of your life. For me this moment transpired when my ex-husband came home drunk and put a butcher’s knife to my throat, threatening to kill me. I’m fortunate to be alive and thankful that he changed his mind. But that moment is the moment where I can say it was the beginning of a new life for me and I stepped into something unknown.

I had no control over how things had unfolded, but I had to define what I was going to do next, with myself and my life. I decided to give myself a voice. I moved from being a victim; I didn’t want to turn into a bitter person. I chose to take complete ownership of my life, and take full responsibility for whatever happens in my life, be it - good, bad, or ugly.

I started asking myself, what was the purpose of my life? Was I just a statistics (in domestic violence) and my answer was, no. And then I asked myself what if I had died that night? What value had I provided to others, and the world? This question saved me because I understood that the only way to add value is to help other people.

I wanted to respect my experience and didn’t want to sweep it under the rug. I knew this was an important and a taboo topic, and impacts women & men all over the world. There are not many people talking about domestic violence because it’s gloomy, and makes most people uncomfortable.

My core message is to create awareness about domestic violence. I also want to give people hope that regardless of the challenges in their life, be it a stressful job, a failed relationship, bankruptcy, they have an incredible power within them to recreate and transform their life. The first step to recreating life is to get responsible for what’s happening in your life. The moment you take responsibility, you move from a place of weakness and powerlessness to a place of strength. The interesting thing is I didn’t realize how impactful my message was going to be. I am observing that in sharing my story, other people are finding courage and strength to talk about their experiences openly.

Question: How did the event of stepping into the unknown unfold for you?

Ruchi: It was not an easy decision to talk about domestic violence, to get on stage or any public platform and share something which is a very private part of your life.

But sharing this message was important to me, and it has played out well with God’s grace. I have spoken at a couple of conferences, interviewed on multiple podcasts around the globe. I was recently chosen as ‘Hero Among Us’ by the ‘WonderfulWoman.in’ Magazine. The big corporations are also showing interest in my story because of the resilience aspect. Just this past week, I was the closing keynote speaker at India’s Largest Career fair, addressing an audience of over 800 people.

I’ve been invited to be a Changemaker under the ‘She Creates Change’ program by Change.org, which has its presence in 196 countries and 200+ million followers.

I am also writing a book because many people kept asking me to write and share my story on how I overcame domestic violence. People have also connected with me for mindset coaching, and for helping them broadcast their message on YouTube.

These fantastic opportunities wouldn’t have unfolded had I not taken that first step of actually talking about my experience.

None of this was a planned career move; this was coming from a life experience where I almost lost my life, and I had to make some meaning out of it. I always remind myself, be true to what you are, who you are, and what you want to do, and amazing doors of opportunity which you would have never even imagined would open for you.

Question: What are the three lessons you learned?

Ruchi: You have to accept complete responsibility for your life. Don’t blame others; don’t look for others to rescue you. If you are in an abusive relationship, it’s your responsibility to do something about it. The moment you say, hey, I’m in this situation, what can I do to solve this, you move out of a victim mentality.

The second most important thing is to be true to who you are. Your life will feel meaningful, trust me. You will wake up happier, and you will have a purpose. Not everyone has to become a crusader or get on stage. Do whatever works for you.

And the third lesson I learned is to redefine what success means to you. Most of the time, we let the world decide the criteria of success for us, and then we strictly spend our entire life struggling to fit into that idea of success. There is no rule book; you have to define what success means to you. Most people who connect with me are in a situation where they’re trying to live up to someone else’s expectation. If you are a woman and you don’t want to have kids, that’s perfectly okay. If you are a man and you want to be a stay-at-home dad, that’s fine too. I’m using these examples because these are, you know, society’s norms of how things should be. Who are we to decide what is right or wrong for another human being as long as they are not harming another person. All of us have the right to live our life the way we choose.

In conclusion,

• Find a way to channelize your pain, frustration, or anger in a constructive way.
• You have the power to transform any circumstance in your life into something positive
• Take full ownership of your life, and you will transmute from a caterpillar into a butterfly

I hope you learned valuable lessons from Ruchi's sharing. Please make sure to connect with Ruchi on her social media handle 'RuchiSinghTalks' on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

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If you struggle with Fear and Failure, then make sure to check out my book on Overcoming Fear and Failure here.