We're All Scared

What an interesting social phenomenon this has been to observe and be a part of. With both of my businesses paused, endless quarantine day after day, no social interaction, nowhere to go, nothing to do, all I have had to do is eat, sleep, watch the news, and scroll Facebook all day long, day after endless day. All I've had to think about is the virus, my own health, the death count ticker on the television, my Mom who, because of her compromised immune system has been quarantined away from all human contact for over a month, the economy, the industries I work in, my own feelings of captivity, and what our world is going to look like from here on out. I have not managed my self-discipline well.

As I’ve slogged through this dystopian reality one thing has been brought into stark relief: The masses are extremely angry and mean to one another. I’ve been on Facebook since 2008, twelve years, and I have never, ever, seen the hostility and hatred I’ve seen shown to one another these past few weeks. Textual shouting matches. Name calling. Cursing and insulting one another, usually total strangers who know nothing about one another in real life. I’ve even seen people openly posting that certain presidents and governors should be assassinated. People…are…mean. Why?

Well, the first reason, is simply the nature of social media. Most of us are fierce keyboard warriors, more brazen, outspoken, confrontational, and foul-mouthed than we’d be in real life. We hide behind a screen in our safe place under our blanket with our chamomile tea, not forced to look into each other’s eyes and read body language, and we are safe from being punched in the mouth when we shoot it off at someone we disagree with.

But the bigger deal, especially now, is quite simply this: We are scared. All of us. We’re scared. Three hundred twenty-seven million people, all terrified and suddenly, and without warning, feeling out of control of our lives.

Most all of us are afraid of catching the virus and ending up in a hospital, on a ventilator, fighting for our lives, and if not us, our loved ones. We’re afraid to breath, touch things, or scratch an itch on our face.

Those who lived paycheck to paycheck before their paychecks stopped, with no savings, are scared about how they’re going to pay the rent, the utilities, their car payment, and buy food for their families. Those of us who have savings and retirement portfolios and aren’t necessarily worried about day to day needs now, are afraid of our savings being depleted, our retirement funds being wiped out by economic collapse, and what comes after that, somewhere down the road. Those of us who have worked hard to build careers, and businesses, are scared that all we worked so hard for and poured so much of our heart, mind, and soul into, will just vanish before our eyes.

We are all scared of how the world is being forever changed and all of the things that we used to enjoy doing that we may never be able to do again. Will we be able to sit in a stadium and watch a football game? Or go to a concert? Or enjoy a cruise? Or go to a theme park? Or dance in the street with a hundred happy strangers? Or just eat dinner in a damn restaurant? What about our government and our freedoms? Have we stumbled into an era when the government can and will, at a time and in a way of its choosing, take control of our lives to the point of telling us where we can and cannot go, what we can and cannot buy, who we can and cannot gather with, what we can and cannot do? How terrifying!

We’re all scared. We’re all in “fight or flight” mode. We’re all thinking about and preparing for survival of the fittest at the same time that all of our means of survival have been stripped away by an invisible virus and executive orders.

So, now what? Hell, I don’t know. I guess when we encounter hostility, we just try to understand, that person is scared. It’s okay. Don’t take it personal. You’re scared too. So am I. We’re scared. We’re just going to have to be scared together. Or…

Maybe we could remind ourselves that nothing is permanent and now, with all of this time on our hands, with so few demands upon us, we have an amazing opportunity to do some things. Turn off the news. Turn off your phone. Log out of Facebook. Take that online course you’ve been wanting to take. Read those books you’ve been wanting to read or write that book you’ve been wanting to write. Learn to play the guitar, or the piano, or the didgeridoo. Pray more. Meditate more. Write up a business plan for that business you’ll start once this is behind us. Take lots of walks, smell more flowers, pet your dog more, torment your cat with a laser light, wrestle in the floor or yard with your kids. Close your eyes and just listen to music, paying attention to all of the different instruments and melodies and harmonies and voices. Write letters to people you miss. Call your Mom more.

Maybe instead of just sitting around scared, behind screens, calling strangers stupid and telling them to fuck off, we could do all of the things now, with all of the time we have, to make us the stronger, wiser, more skilled, more marketplace valuable, and more compassionate people that the world is going to need us to be once we are released back into it.

I should give that a go. But first I need a cupcake.

Bill Huffhine, a recently retired business development executive from the print and digital media industry, now owns and operates three businesses in the Metro Detroit area, a travel agency, a rental car company, and an emerging coaching practice.

Bill Huffhine is also an experienced conference speaker, seminar presenter, published author, and personal/professional coach who has been forming and leading teams for companies around the country for over 20 years. Bill would welcome the opportunity to speak to your group on the topics of personal professional growth, career development, and team leadership. You can reach Bill at billhuffhine@outlook.com.

#crisismanagement #fear #covid19 #coronavirus #selfcare