What 10 Years of Sobriety Have Taught Me About Decision Making

Today, I am ten years sober.

It's a very meaningful anniversary for me, born of a very consequential choice that has impacted every part of my life. And one which taught me some valuable lessons about how tough it is to make tough decisions.

I don't have a heartstrings story for why I quit drinking and, in many ways, that's what made the journey so difficult. It was simply something that did not make me happy, and I knew it deep down. So, one day and without much fanfare, I decided to stop.

What I didn't realize was this very personal decision of mine would elicit a huge range of responses from people throughout my life, from friends, family, and strangers alike.

I was in my mid-twenties, at the time living in a predominantly Irish neighborhood where drinking was the social activity. Initially, I thought I could continue my social life as it was with just one minor change, but I was very wrong. When you make a choice to abstain from something as ingrained in society as alcohol, you begin to realize that your choice can trigger emotions in people that you never expected.

Some people whom I thought were my friends no longer wanted to hang out with me, for reasons that were often hard to understand. To some, my choice not to drink anymore reflected a judgment on their decision to keep doing so. To others, I was trying to be controversial and they didn't like it. Some would continually rationalize to me, "I don't really drink that much myself, you know". Ten years later, and I still find strangers doing the same when they learn I don't drink.

To be clear, I don't judge people for drinking at all. I'm actually quite the enabler at parties, in fact. It simply wasn't right for me. But that's the thing about tough decisions, whether personal or professional - there is always going to be someone who has a strong reaction no matter how hard you try to avoid it.

That's the price you pay to make a choice that isn't popular.

At work, there may be times when your choice to push back on an idea can make you a lone voice in the room. Sometime the choice may be to stand up to wrongdoing like discrimination, harassment, or bullying. The personal costs of those decisions can be, and often are, much higher.

There will certainly be times where you question whether it was worth it. I know I did. It's always easier to go with the crowd. But it's that voice when you're alone that you need to listen to.

Whatever it cost me at the time to quit drinking pales in comparison to what I got back from it. It led me down a new path that caused me to meet my wife. It changed my social circle and helped me discover running, which has become a true passion of mine. It also brought me an inner peace I had been lacking for a long time.

Difficult decisions are just that - difficult. The ones you wrestle with at night, the ones whose costs you worry are too high, those are often the ones that are the most important to make.

Today, 10 years later, I'm celebrating my sobriety. It wasn't an easy journey, and it had some definite costs. Sometimes it still presents challenges. Yet, I know in I would make the same decision again in a heartbeat. Such is the way of tough decisions.