What gets talked about determines what happens

Our work, relationships, and lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time. While no single conversation is guaranteed to transform a company, a relationship, or a life, any single conversation can. Speak and listen as if this is the most important conversation you will ever have with this person. It could be. Participate as if it matters. It does....... Susan Scott

Every conversation is a moment in time, and the presence, attention, and quality we bring to each conversation take us to the next level of greatness. In our last issue, we discussed the power of just one conversation to change a legacy.

"We know that Words Create Worlds, which means that our ability to create is limited by the scope of our vision and language. We do not describe the world we see – we see the world we can describe. If we are genuinely trying to effect lasting change, then we must find the language for the future we want and then speak it into existence. To do this, we need to master the art of high-value conversations.

Traditional leadership that had certainty built into fixed hierarchical structures and a relatively predictable future are now operating in a complex adaptive system where the game's rules have changed. The tried and tested and "we have always done it this way" now require leaders to think on their feet and be able to respond to emergent change. It is here that the agility of conversational mastery comes into its own. Every conversation is an agile, creative (or destructive unit that shapes our present and future. Margaret J Wheatley sums up the value of inviting conversation and listening deeply to multiple perspectives in this complex environment:

Everyone on a complex system has a slightly different interpretation. The more interpretations we gather, the easier it becomes to gain a sense ofunderstand the whole.

So, what is a conversation?

At its simplest, a conversation is an interactive exchange between people, communities, nations or even technological beings as we move deeper into the digital age. At its best, it is a mutual exchange of ideas, sentiments, information, observations, and opinions. It seeks to create shared meaning in a continuous loop of speaking, listening and feedback. Conversations can be surface or casual interactions described as chit-chat, gossip, an intimate tete-a-tete or more substantial dialogues or consultations. Conversation can include individual, group (team), community, and global dialogue.

Conversations can occur along the full reality-virtual spectrum, including face-to-face or technology-mediated conversations, including video, voice, and text. We can have these conversations in real time, which allows for richer interaction and immediate feedback. We can also have asynchronous conversations that we come to when we are ready to respond.

Generative AI has brought the conversation to the centre of our digital strategy, and we see its creative impact through written and content creation. As we move into the digital environment, we converse with avatars, bots, and automated systems. As AI becomes more sophisticated, it seeks to mimic our conversations and emotional impact through deep language processing. We will explore this more in later editions of Walk the Talk.

Whether we use it as a tool to build or destroy is a vital ethical conversation that requires raising the level of consciousness in our conversations.

On a deeper level, a conversation is a multi-sensory experience that uses all our senses to absorb and process the message. The emotional content of the conversation is often unspoken and can be supported by body language, tone symbols, artifacts, and theatrics. In Elon Musk's takeover bid for Twitter, he refers to Twitter as the "Town Square", a place to connect and make sense of the world. Love it or hate it, these platforms guide our global, national, community, and organisational narratives.

Great conversations hard-wire us to connect, engage and navigate towards collaboration and partnership. Every conversation can connect us as people to build trust and deepen relationships. When we interact with others, we can broaden our perspectives and build on the collective wisdom of each contributor. The goal of a conversation is to create shared meaning that leads to action. It shifts our language and perspective to incorporate what is important to you and me. When striving for collaboration, it holds the contribution of the "I" and the synergy of the "We", which results in more effective collaboration and impact.

Language is the golden thread that structures human interaction and creates shared meaning. Our word choice and how we express it in conversations with ourselves and others are the building blocks shaping our reality. Our intention, tone, and body language shape the quality of each conversation. How our message is delivered and received will determine its creative or destructive power. Where there is congruence in how you show up in the conversation, it will materially impact its meaning, influence, and impact.

Conversational leadership happens when we see every conversation and communication touch point as an opportunity to achieve our end goal. Start with the end in mind, and then intentionally and consciously use every conversation to achieve mutual value and your desired outcome.

How does this impact your team and organisation?

Mastering dialogue is at the heart of leadership and is often overlooked as a pathway to success. Done well, conversations are transformational. They create a deeper understanding of each other's stories and build shared meaning. Over time, they are a discovery process that allows us to see and make sense of the world differently. In a world where an agile response is needed, our ability to communicate effectively is a critical leadership skill.

Poorly done, our dialogue results in a breakdown of trust, creates inefficiencies, raises barriers to collaboration results, and is inconsistent and a negative experience for employees and customers. George Bernard Shaw famously stated:

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place".

Despite a noisy omnichannel communication environment, we have a communication crisis. When I poll employees in organisations, their "big ask is" for more communication. Yet, paradoxically, when you look at the volume of information that is being shared, we have a communication overload. Communication is often top-down and one-way, focusing on telling, where we talk AT rather than TO each other. When we transform formal communication into Conversational Leadership, our communication takes on a dynamic quality that builds connection and trust. This article explores the architecture of a conversation and how it can be applied in every leadership conversation.

These conversations

• builds an ongoing narrative that shapes our current and future reality
• builds social capital and influence
• are a catalyst of incremental change
• have the creative power to speak a new future into existence
• builds or breaks down trust and relationship

The value of conversation in organisational leadership

Imagine if companies invested as much in improving the frequency and substance of good conversation as they did in advancing technologies.

Build trust – the currency of Leadership.

Trust is the currency of Conversational Leadership. Conscious business has shifted from short-term shareholder value to a more holistic and sustainable stakeholder value, with loyalty and retention replacing short-term gains as the primary goal. Trust is the currency of leadership that builds stakeholder value and competitive advantage. According to the 2022 Edelman Trust monitor, Failure of Leadership has made distrust the default in society, primarily driven by political and media discourse. To restore this trust, business has a crucial role in restoring belief in society's ability to build a better future.

"Trustworthy, consistent and fact-based information is critical to breaking the cycle of distrust." Edelman Trust Barometer

We have reached the point where we need more than scripted PR promises, symbolic social media posts, or graphics that strive for optics rather than authenticity. Trust builds when we provide trustworthy information congruent with action and delivery – leaders who walk the talk.

Make the Shift from Transactional to Relational

Loyalty and retention are built on quality relationships. Conversations are the building blocks of relationships. They allow us to listen to the voices of our stakeholders and raise the level of personal responsibility. A key secret to the success of my business has been word of mouth and referral, which results in repeat business and journey work. With personalisation being one of the critical pillars of the exceptional customer and employee experience, conversations allow you to listen to their voice and respond appropriately. Conversational Leadership separates you from the crowd and elevates above a CV, a proposal or marketing collateral. It allows you to make the other person feel you are the only person who matters now. In a noisy world, this competitive strategy is hard to duplicate. With the rise of AI, we can automate some of these conversational responses through deep language processing. Through clever use of automation, you can amplify both consistency and connection.

Shape the Narrative

Conversations with stakeholders allow you to shape your organisational narrative in an Omnichannel environment. In 2019, Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenburg got it spectacularly wrong 2019 with the grounding of the 373 Max. Boeing was criticised for needing more transparency and engagement with their stakeholders. I remember being shocked at the time by the lack of humanity in the tone and content of their communications. With the latest crisis in Alaska, Boeing CEO Dave Calhoun has recognised the need to get in front of the message and the importance of the human response. In an emotional response, he acknowledged that they must "own up to its shortcomings as it grapples with a safety incident that has renewed questions over its manufacturing quality. "We're going to approach this — No. 1 — acknowledging our mistake,". The company has learned the importance of a human point of contact and ensuring a consistent narrative backing it up.

While vulnerability, honesty, and transparency do much to build trust, the actual test is how well you follow through on resolving issues and maintaining communication beyond the emotional crisis.

• CEOs ramp up your visibility and give regular updates – even if not much has changed. People want to know you are working on it.
• I'd like you to handle queries from your customer base. I have noticed that large companies regularly respond to job seekers on LinkedIn with an invitation to apply. (If you want an A+, let applicants know when they have failed to succeed.)
• Could you share your purpose and values and show how you are living these values?
• Reframe your communication strategy from one-way to two-way. Provide constructive channels for communication that allow you to respond rather than react.

Treat Every Conversation as an Experiment

Conversations are one of the most agile ways to move forward. We can shape thinking, response, agreement, and commitment by seeing every conversation as an experiment. If things don't go well, we can breathe, reflect, and do better next time. Japanese art is a powerful metaphor for turning broken pieces into something beautiful. In conversation, we share our stories, expand our awareness, and uncover our blind spots and biases. This awareness is the gold that allows us to return and co-create a new narrative.

Master conversational leaders use the contracting conversation to establish psychological safety where robust dialogue and positive conflict thrive. Each conversation is a container, allowing participants to explore different perspectives and test thinking out loud. This is particularly powerful when having a coaching conversation.

Speak the Future into Being

Whether these conversations are with world leaders at forums like the G7, the UN, BRICS, or the WEF, in the boardroom or with your three-year-old toddler, our words shape our current and future reality. When we speak, our brains listen and scan the environment for threats or opportunities based on what they hear. What are they hearing?

I invite you to take the next few weeks to listen to the conversations you are having with yourself and others. Notice what impact each conversation has on your relationship with your key stakeholders. Reflect on whether your conversations are opening up possibilities or shutting them down. Standing before you are conversational bricks—what you build with them is up to you.

Remember that what gets talked about and how it gets talked about determines what will happen. Or won't happen. And that we succeed or fail, gradually then suddenly, one conversation at a time.

Bev is a conversational catalyst who believes we build our future success one conversation at a time. She believes that we hold a magical and wise truth in the language and practice of UBUNTU – an African philosophy that means "I am because we are". As a strategic facilitator and interactive global speaker, Bev energises the delegate experience by drawing their voice and expertise into the conversation. With master's degrees in business and executive coaching, Bev works with your teams to elevate their conversational leadership to build trust, psychological safety, engagement and results into their leadership dialogue. There has never been a time for leaders to communicate with compassion and power. It is Bev's transformative purpose to bring these skills to the world.

If you want to ignite a new conversation at your conference, in the boardroom or online channels, speaking to Bev can help you shape your next strategic, learning or leadership dialogue. You can reach her at www.bevhancock.com