What I Learned About Decision Making from Becky Selling Sex

The meeting went well. We left the office and paused to de-brief in the car.

“Oh shit!" Mickey exclaimed. “There goes Becky.”

About 100 yards across the parking lot, a curvy blonde strolled across the sidewalk and toward the building entrance.

“I don’t care what anybody says — sex sells. She really knows how to play it. There’s no way those guys are going to say no to her. “

“Let’s hope not,” I countered. "It’s an important project, and we really have the technical horsepower to do this right.”

Many Techies Don’t Get It

Many (maybe most) techies don’t get it. Decision makers view their choices as a continuum, not as independent events. That’s where rational thought and logic fail.

Becky is an example of a low-end decision. Attractiveness can play a significant role in routine or low-stakes decisions, where decision makers may rely more on secondary signals or indirect indicators, like appearance or likability, than on thorough analysis.

Of course, this is particularly true for impulse purchases or when the service or product is of secondary importance.

When Attractiveness Becomes a Negative

Secondary signals like attractiveness diminish as the stakes or complexity of the decision increase.

Perceived Manipulation

Rightly or wrongly, attractiveness can raise doubts about competence or sincerity. This is true for informed or skeptical decision makers, especially when complexity and uncertainty are elevated.

Trustworthiness and Authenticity

Overemphasis on appearance might create a perception of style over substance.

Intimidation or Discomfort

Excessive attractiveness can make some decision-makers feel uncomfortable and concerned about being judged as unduly influenced by a secondary factor.

Inconsistency with Context

If the presenter’s attractiveness is inconsistent with the decision’s seriousness, it usually leads to disengagement.

The Portfolio Effect

Being too attractive usually backfires when the decision requires high involvement or expertise. The decision maker perceives attractiveness as a tool for manipulation.

A fourth case is the portfolio effect, or when a collection of different decisions impacts how decision makers view the overall context. In other words, if the current agenda is full of big decisions (and a lot of analysis), then all decisions tend to be viewed under this lens. If times are good and the pressure is off, then all decisions tend to be viewed in a more relaxed manner.

What Becky Selling Sex Teaches Us

Sex sells. Many technical professionals get wrapped up in their analysis and overlook that decision makers often view their choices as routine or low stakes. Logic and calculations will not rule the day.

However, sex doesn’t sell as well when the stakes are perceived to be high. That’s why it’s important for the technical professional to understand the context first. Understanding the context also means having different communication approaches in your bag to address different situations.

The elements of the FINESSE fishbone diagram® are Frame, Illustrate, Noise reduction, Empathy, Structure, Synergy, and Ethics. Communicating with FINESSE is a not-for-profit community of technical professionals dedicated to being highly effective communicators and facilitators. Learn more about our publications, webinars, and workshops. Join the community for free.

JD Solomon is the author of Communicating Reliability, Risk & Resiliency to Decision Makers: How to Get Your Boss’s Boss to Understand and Facilitating with FINESSE: A Guide to Successful Business Solutions.