What If More Leaders Were Like Simone Biles?

The summer between my first and second year of business school, I took a job at a very young start-up in San Diego called Postal Buddy. They had a really interesting business idea to put giant blue kiosks in every post office in the US to sell postage and other postal-related products back before that was a thing.

They had only recently gotten the USPS to agree to an initial pilot and the small team was pushing hard when I arrived for my 10-week internship. From the first time I walked in the door, I could feel the tension of the place, and it didn't take me long to figure out what was going on.

The CEO was under enormous pressure to perform, this was his first CEO gig and at 60+ you could tell he'd always dreamed of being in charge. He and his grown son, who was his #2, were not in agreement about much of anything and it was day 2 when I heard them screaming at each other in the hallway for the first time. Before the first week was over, I had heard others receiving the same treatment, called on the carpet for the smallest thing and treated to a diatribe.

I did my best to keep a low profile, which in a 20 person office wasn't easy to do, but as an intern I didn't get much wrath until about week 4. That day, I was standing in one of the offices with my back to the door working on something when the CEO came in shouting. I had no idea what he was shouting about but for some reason I instinctively whirled around and said, very loudly, "You can't yell at me, you're not my father."

You could have heard a pin drop in the office as the CEO's eyes bulged out and he got red in the face, but he didn't say another word. He just turned around and went back to his office. And that was the very last time he yelled at anyone, other than his son....and from then on the two of them would go into his office and shut the door before they started going at each other.

You can imagine that I was the absolute hero of that office after that. The women, in particular, loved me and honestly if I had never done another day's work that summer I still would have been well-remembered. But here's the thing...not only should this not have happened...it also just keeps happening.

The Postal Buddy CEO was obviously in over his head and every bad behavior -- the shouting, belittling, meanness, and pettiness -- all came about from that. He had spent years trying to get this contract and open this company and he wasn't sure he could live up to what he'd committed to. Rather than face facts and ask for help, he made everyone's life a living hell. [Not surprisingly the company lost their contract with the Post Office and they went bankrupt in less than a year, if I recall. One of the few times I've celebrated when a start-up closed.]

Unfortunately, he was certainly not the last leader to take out their stress on their workforce. I have one client whose boss regularly tells her that others in the company want her to be fired, as if that's going to motivate her to improve. I have another client whose new boss regularly spends up to two hours on Zoom meetings shouting at the team, telling them how worthless they are, and has had 4 direct reports quit in the last month but is taking no personal responsibility. And I myself have experienced many leaders who have treated me and others poorly simply because they never learned what to do when they are overwhelmed.

That's why I was so pleasantly surprised when Simone Biles pulled out of the competition this week explaining that she was experiencing the 'twisties', a sensation of her body and her mind no longer being in sync. "It's the craziest feeling ever," she explained. "Not having an inch of control over your body. What's even scarier is since I have no idea where I am in the air, I also have NO idea how I am going to land. Or what I am going to land on. Head/hands/feet back…"

Not only can we cheer Simone on for her willingness to STOP and listen to her body, even while the entire world was watching, but we can also thank her for not apologizing for putting her mental and physical health first. As she said, "I don't think you realize how dangerous this is [to continue to compete when she was not operating at 100%]."

What if more leaders were like Simone Biles? What if they stopped and listened to their bodies rather than 'landing' on their teams like a ton of bricks? What if they paid attention to the signals -- sleeplessness, tightness of breath, health scares, headaches -- that are letting them know that things are not OK? Perhaps they are not in the right role or they are not in the right company or they are not working with or for the right people -- whatever it is, it's time to take stock and take a breath rather than take it out on everyone around them.

Sadly, the reality is that when leaders face their own version of the 'twisties', they are not conditioned to pay attention to the signals, to stop, to take a breath or to walk away. Instead, they are trained to tough it out, to work harder, to overcome. Rather than focus on getting more sleep, eating healthy, or getting more exercise, they instead double-down on caffeine, work more hours and reach for the nearest chocolate bar. (I know, I've done it!)

And when they don't just tough it out, but actually want a break they are often seen as weak, ineffective, or 'not management material'. When they refuse to play along, they are moved aside or 'their position is eliminated', or they find themselves no longer in the inner circle. (I know, I've experienced that too!) So, what happens? They are forced to quit...or they choose to stay and they take it out on everyone around them. It can get ugly....

Isn't it time we take a lesson from Simone Biles and just say ENOUGH...I can't...I won't keep going. I don't want to get hurt (or hurt others). I don't want to operate with the weight of the world (or an impossible corporate deadline) on my shoulders. And when someone does make that choice, isn't it smarter to shower them with love and support and accolades rather than see them as a quitter or worse?

If I could wish for one good thing to come from the Olympics, this would be it -- that we see each other as humans and not super-humans. That we encourage each other to pay attention to our own 'twistie' feelings, to take a pause and take ahold of ourselves and stop before we take our own scared, disconnected feelings out on others in ways that are never forgiven or forgotten. And that we celebrate and support those who recognize the dangers ahead and stop before it's too late and the damage is done.

Denise Brosseau is a thought leadership strategist, executive coach, consultant and speaker. She works with leaders and their teams who want to get their voices heard, build their brand reputation and spread their ideas widely. She is the author of the best-seller Ready to Be a Thought Leader? and she has two popular courses on thought leadership on LinkedIn Learning. Learn more by joining her mailing list at www.thoughtleadershiplab.com.