What if you had to say I love you every day?

by Chester Elton

For those who are new to this love stuff, Sunday is Valentine’s. It’s a day for flowers (red roses), expensive candy (hint: no one really likes dark chocolate), and a card (nice and sappy). No pressure, but if you get it wrong, you’ll be sleeping on the couch.

Now, the good news: if your significant other loves you, I mean really loves you, then you should only have to say “I Love You” to each other once a year.

I mean, could you imagine if you had to say it multiple times in the same year? Or even every day?

Just to be clear: I AM KIDDING!

To those we love, most of us in the Western world usually verbalize our love on a regular basis—typically daily. It’s a vital part of most relationships. After all, we all have a human need to be valued, accepted and treasured. And not just at home, but at work.

As a consultant, for twenty years I’ve helped companies build employee recognition programs, and I often hear the complaint from leaders that, “You can give too much gratitude, you know.” They argue that when they were young, their leaders didn’t say they had done a good job very often, but when they did they knew they meant it. It’s as if scarcity could make an expression of love more powerful.

Well, unlike red diamonds, da Vinci paintings, and New York Jets victories (which are valuable because they are so rare), love is amplified the more you express it.

Think about a time you fell in love. My guess is you said “I love you” a dozen times a day. If the relationship lasted, over the years you might not have said it as much but you found a hundred other ways to express it: Not just in words, but through actions. Small gestures are always appreciated, i.e., watching the TV show they want to, putting down the phone when they are around, doing their least-favorite chore, and so on.

I believe that little gestures of love and gratitude build on each other and help build a culture of deep caring that lasts. So while Valentine’s can be a special day, it should not be the only expression of love we make in a year, but the highlight of a tradition of caring.

So this Sunday, I invite you to start a new tradition: Make your loved one a handmade card, write a love letter, put on some romantic music and dance together, go on a walk and reminisce about how you met, or find another way to reach express your love to those who mean the most to you.

With hugs and kisses,

Chester

It is impossible to be in a state of anxiety and grateful at the same time! In our new podcast, Anxiety at Work, my wonderful coauthor, Adrian Gostick and I offer insights and advice to reduce anxiety at work and in your personal life. If you have ever dreaded Sunday night, got a pit in your stomach on the way to work, or had your heartbeat speed up at the sound of your boss’s voice, then you may have had anxiety at work. In this practical podcast, some of the world’s leading authorities on mental health explore the causes of workplace stress and anxiety and the practices that have be proven to reduce tension and cultivate calm.

The Gratitude Journal is your place to find tools to create an all-in culture, at work and at home. Today I am #grateful for kind friends who sent me a dozen orange roses to cheer me up as I recover from Covid. Simple acts of kindness always make me feel remembered, valued and cared for. What are you grateful for today?#givethanks #findyourgratitude #wethrivetogether

You are invited to join our community! Our goal at We Thrive Together is to provide support, encouragement and a positive environment to those who experience stress/anxiety while at work.

Leading with Gratitude LIVE

I LOVE LOVE LOVE our Gratitude Community. Thank you for tuning in each week. You are making our Thursday Live show, the number one Leading with Gratitude show! We live stream every Thursday at 1 pm ET. Give me 30 min and I promise to bring you great information from amazing guests. I hope you'll join us!

Thursday, February 18 Daniel Harkavy Building Champions Founder, CEO, Mentor, and author of "The 7 Perspectives of Effective Leaders"

Thursday, February 25 Richard Brooke - Authenticity and Transformational Coach. Speaker and author of Mach 2 With your Hair on Fire

Chester Elton has spent two decades helping clients engage their employees to execute on strategy, vision, and values. His work is supported by research with more than 1 million working adults, revealing the proven secrets behind high-performance cultures and teams. They are the founders of The Culture Works, a global coaching, speaking, and training company.

Leading with Gratitude, is available wherever you like to get your books. Visit Leading with Gratitude Book for free resources including videos, podcast episodes, and more, to build a culture of gratitude.