What Youth Sports Teaches us About The Corporate Workplace

Anyone who knows me knows my passion for youth sports and what it can help youth to achieve. In the past week I had some incredible conversations with clients, and I  attended a volleyball match by myself because I enjoy the sport so much. My clients all week were describing what I see in kids and parents during youth sports events.

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I sat next to a gentleman at the volleyball match who kept screaming at the ref. I did not say anything nor was I going to until he turned to me assuming I was cheering for his kids’ team, and he said “man, the officiating is terrible can you believe this?” I said nothing in response hoping he would leave me alone and then he started to talk to the side of my head complaining about the officiating throughout the whole match. Anyone who knows me knows I do not fear conflict or having those tough conversations, so I turned to him and asked “Wow, you really seem to know a lot about volleyball.”

 He said yes I've had three kids play volleyball?”  I responded, “that's great what's your specific experience as a coach or a player?”

He said, “I never played, nor have I ever coached the sport.”

I responded” have you ever officiated a match?”

 He said” no why do you ask?”

I said” just wondering” and I said it with a big smile on my face. I knew he would not let it sit and I should point out I was pleasant throughout the conversation.

I knew I would pull this gentleman into a conversation by not confronting him or attacking him. He then asked, “do you think I am wrong?

I said, “are you really open to that feedback?”

He said “sure.”

I said, “do you find yourself to be an objective person?”

He said, “yes I do why?”

I said, “you have not complained once about the officiating when the calls favored your child's team.”

He seemed a little perplexed and did not respond.

I continued the conversation “can I challenge you with a thought?”

He said “sure.”

I said, “officiate one match … just one from start to finish and you will never ever complain of a match again without having to be told.”

I got up and walked away, never raising my voice with the gentleman or confronting him. I used coaching questions to get him to bring me into the conversation. I sat across the gym directly across from him on the other side of the gym and continued to watch the same match basically sending a message I did not want to sit next to him without actually saying the words. It was amazing he never yelled the rest of the match. I had planted some seeds hoping they would grow, and they certainly were growing during the latter part of the match. As I walked out and walked to my car the gentleman came up to me, He said “I really have never thought about this until you said something.”

I told him these people do not make much money, and they are treated terribly, and the worst part is kids hear their parents complaining so why the hell would they ever respect authority figures in the future. They are going to provide no boss in their future any latitude for mistakes and they will eventually walk down the hall of their workplace go to the water cooler and continue to complain. That is what I see occurring and how I can say that is I see it in the workplace with what I do for a living.

Where is the transition from youth sports to the workplace?

1.       When you scream at officials, we are teaching kids it's OK to be disrespectful if not rude to authority figures.

2.       When parents complain about kids playing time, they are teaching kids intentionally or not intentionally don't worry about the team worry about yourself.

How do these thoughts transition to the workplace? First, it is amazing to me how many people will leave an organization and complain about their direct managers never having that direct conversation with them. Second, one of the most common scenarios in the workplace is when people don't get a promotion and somebody else does, they’ll fake a smile and say congratulations only to walk down the hall and complain about that person and the decision made and then ultimately leave the organization. They never take the time to ask what was the gap is that I need to fill to get that next promotion and what could you do to assist me.

Childhoods formulate what adults will be like!

Let Coaches coach (let leaders Lead)

Put We before me