When Blood is Thicker Than Water: Can Family Businesses Thrive?

When Blood is Thicker Than Water: Can Family Businesses Thrive?

By Asha Dullabh, Clinical Psychologist

Growing up in a household deeply entrenched in the family business environment, I experienced firsthand the intricate dynamics of “blood, water, and clots” within our family unit. The business was not just a source of income; it was woven into the fabric of our daily lives, making the lines between personal relationships and professional responsibilities often blur. The bonds and intention of loyalty that sustained our family were like the blood that flows through our veins, keeping the business alive. But, as with any system, clots inevitably formed. Family conflicts would sometimes block the healthy flow of communication and cooperation, much like how blood clots disrupt circulation in the body.

This experience is not unique. Over the years, in my practice as a therapist, I have worked with many individuals and families who bring their business struggles into therapy — along with all the clots that come with them. These blockages are sometimes so deeply embedded that they create painful rifts in the family, threatening not only the success of the business but also the harmony of relationships. The phrase "Blood is thicker than water" often takes centre stage in these situations, used to justify loyalty at all costs, but what if we challenge its meaning and explore how families can maintain both their bonds and their business success?

The Real Meaning Behind 'Blood is Thicker Than Water'

Most people interpret the phrase “Blood is thicker than water” to mean that familial bonds should always come before other relationships. However, the original phrase, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," suggests that relationships formed by choice, such as business partnerships, can be stronger than those of birth. This shift in meaning is significant for family businesses, where loyalty is often assumed to be automatic but can sometimes be more complex.

Take the story of Ford Motor Company, a classic example of a family business that has balanced loyalty with professionalism over the decades. Founded by Henry Ford in 1903, the company has been passed down through multiple generations of the Ford family. Each generation faced different challenges, from navigating economic downturns to managing the delicate balance between family loyalty and the need for professional leadership. The company's survival and success can be attributed to its ability to honour its family legacy while making tough decisions about leadership and succession.

The Lifeblood of Family Businesses

Family businesses are often built on strong values and traditions passed down through generations, much like the blood that sustains our bodies. These values are the lifeblood of the company, giving it direction and identity. However, just as blood clots can disrupt the flow of oxygen in the body, unresolved family conflicts can block the healthy functioning of the business.

Consider the Walton family, the heirs of Walmart. While the company has enjoyed incredible success, family tensions have at times threatened the harmony of the business. Disputes over control, leadership, and financial decisions led to rifts within the family, but they were able to resolve these “clots” through careful planning and legal agreements, ensuring that both the family and the business continued to thrive.

Family businesses like Ford and Walmart highlight the importance of not only preserving familial bonds but also understanding that business success often requires objectivity, clear communication, and strategic decision-making. Without this balance, even the strongest family ties can become a liability.

Psychological Insights for Family Business Success

Understanding the psychology behind family dynamics is essential to navigating the complex relationships in family businesses. Several psychological theories can offer valuable insights:

  1. Family Systems Theory In a family business, unresolved emotional issues can seep into business decisions, causing dysfunction. According to Murray Bowen’s Family Systems Theory, families function as emotional systems where each member's behaviour influences others. In business, this often leads to unhealthy patterns of communication, such as triangulation or emotional reactivity.
  2. Transactional Analysis (TA) Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis helps explain the communication patterns in family businesses. For example, a parent might unconsciously adopt a "Parent" role, issuing commands, while a younger sibling may respond from the "Child" state, leading to power imbalances and resentment.
  3. Attachment Theory John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory offers insight into how early relationships affect leadership styles. A family member with an anxious attachment style might struggle to delegate, leading to micromanagement, while an avoidant style might cause withdrawal in times of conflict.

Avoiding Family Business Blood Clots: Practical Tips

The emotional “clots” that arise in family businesses can be avoided or resolved with the right strategies:

  1. Establish Clear Boundaries Just as in the body, boundaries help maintain healthy circulation. In the family business context, this means separating personal and professional roles. Clear job descriptions, contracts, and reporting lines can prevent personal relationships from overshadowing business decisions.
  2. Succession Planning One of the most common sources of conflict in family businesses is the uncertainty around succession. Developing a clear, transparent plan for leadership transitions can prevent power struggles and ensure that the business remains stable through generational shifts.
  3. Bring in External Advisors External advisors or non-family executives can provide a neutral perspective, mediating conflicts and ensuring that decisions are made based on merit rather than emotion. These advisors act as the “water” in the system, helping to clear the clots and bring clarity to complex situations.
  4. Commit to Professional and Emotional Development Encourage family members to pursue personal and professional development, whether through business courses, leadership training, or therapy. Developing emotional intelligence can improve communication, reduce conflict, and strengthen the business's overall health.

Family Therapy as the Key to Business Longevity

While family ties are strong, they must be nurtured and managed with care, just like the blood that flows through our veins. Family therapy offers a way to dissolve the emotional clots that can disrupt both personal relationships and business success.

My personal journey within a family business and my professional experience as a therapist have given me a unique perspective on the importance of family therapy in these settings. Understanding the balance between personal bonds and professional clarity is critical to ensuring that both the family and the business can thrive without the weight of unresolved issues holding them back.

Ilze Biggs

Counselling Psychologist at Counselling Psychologist

3mo

Great article. You provide valuable insight and solutions.

Sean Bozalek

Working in Retail Management in diverse portfolios for the last twenty years , ability to work under pressure meet deadlines and possess organizational skills .

3mo

Family business in South Africa is the lifeblood of our existence. Families like the Pick and Pay Ackermans and Jeevas who run Afrisave in Port Elizabeth created a business that thrives on familial bonds . They preserve their business for their descendants, they understand the value of hard work and loyalty and the close bonds that are necessary in business to make a successful empire without compromising business or family principles.

Michael Appelt

Agile Transformation | Software Engineering | Business Analysis | Digital Transformation

4mo

No family business in my genepool. The next generation almost always embarked on different endeavors. Great article though!

Deborah Delaney

Partner at Puriti Wellness Consultancy - Results Driven Wellness

4mo

Great Article!

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