When interacting with an employee - 2 questions - help me understand… - what do you recommend?

I'm a big fan of the great question. But nowhere is this truer than with your team members. The truth is we're going to have conversations with team members where we're going to need a behavior change at least once in a while.

The key to these types of conversations is asking great questions.

Let's talk about why questions are important.

Too often, I see business owners tell their team members what they want, walk away, and believe their team members understand, and nothing happens. In my world, that's because we were telling and not asking.

In our delegation formula, we ask managers to start with an expectation. Then they follow through and inspect to see the work, and finally, if the work is correct, the manager will accept the work.

The problem is when you first start delegating, you will never get this right. Then, when you go to the inspect part of the routine, you'll often find that somebody did not do the work correctly. This usually happens because we told our team members what to do and never asked them what we said to ensure we were both on the same page.

This only happens when you ask a great question.

You need questions in the expect portion of a delegation activity.

I suggest you ask your team member what you expect after you tell them what you said. I know this is often awkward, and you might even feel you're treating your team member like a little kid.

The truth is we don't always understand what others tell us. So unless you have a system that will ensure that what you say is heard in the way you said it, you will have miscommunications.

A simple question is, can you tell me what you just heard? Then, be prepared to help your team member adjust what they heard; you just have to keep asking until you and your team member know what you're expecting.

What happens when things go wrong?

You can almost be guaranteed that when you first delegate something, there will be parts that won't be done to your satisfaction. This is when you get to inspect and adapt with your delegation.

One question I like here is help me understand? The other is, what do you recommend? And then there is my favorite question what did we learn?

Let's look at each of these questions.

The first question – help me understand.

In my younger days, I used to think that when a team member did something wrong, it was because they were idiots. That's a terrible way to manage.

Over the years, I learned that it wasn't my team member's problem but mine. I wasn't clear and didn't have a follow-up method for correcting errors. 

When a mistake is made, it's always helpful to understand where your team member is coming from. This is where the question, help me understand, becomes powerful.

Next – what do you recommend?

I love putting team members in the role of the expert. I hope you'll come to believe that the people doing any particular job in your company are experts at that job. They know far more than you. So, when you ask a team member what you recommend, you automatically put them in the expert role.

Your next job is to make sure you listen to their answer. What and how you wanted something done might have a different way that would be far better than what you first thought.

What did we learn?

After you ask what you recommend, it's time to move on to find out what we learned. I love mistakes, and I say this with a caveat. I only love mistakes when we learn something that will make us better.

When you end your corrective behavior conversation after delegating, you always want to ensure that you and your team member walk away learning how to try it differently next time. What did you learn will help you end the conversation on a high note, and it should help with keeping the mistake from happening again.

The more questions you ask, the more effective you'll be.

I call this the Aristotelian method of management. If you believe your team members have the knowledge to do their job correctly and you help them find the best way to get through questions, you and your team member win.

At first, you'll find your team members resisting this. They often want you to tell them what they need to do for excellence. And, when you tell, they can believe it's your fault when things go wrong, and something always goes wrong.

If, instead, you work with powerful questions, your team member will have to take ownership of what happens in their job. Isn't this a better way?

To start, here are something that can help you:

1. Realize that questions are much more powerful than telling somebody what to do.
2. Practice using our three questions – help me understand, what do you recommend, and what did we learn.
3. Tie your questions to success factors for the job. Your goal is to have your team members be successful. 

Stop telling and start asking.

You'll stop getting results you don't want when you stop telling. When you ask questions, your team members start taking responsibility for their actions and manage themselves. 

This is a concept that might be worth a conversation for you. Just click the button below and find a convenient time for us to talk. You'll be amazed at what you learn in a very short conversation.

You also might like our delegating ninja infographic. To get it, just click here, and we'll have it on its way to you.