When Judgements Arise

How do you think judgment shows up in your own life, and how might you shift toward greater empathy?

We can often be hardwired to cast immediate judgments on others without taking the actual time needed to truly understand their perspectives, experiences, and points of view. Psychologically, judgment often stems from our need to feel secure in our identities and beliefs. When we judge others, it reinforces our own sense of right and wrong, helping us feel more in control or even superior at times. It’s also a way of allowing people to compare themselves to others, often as a way of maintaining self-esteem. Therefore, judgement can also be seen to be a tool of self-protection that is manifested through various defence mechanisms in our life. 

When we find ourselves judging others, what might be happening below the surface is that we may be feeling feel insecure or threatened in some way. The direct result can be that we unconsciously distance ourselves from these uncomfortable feelings. Workplace environments that foster unhealthy, unfair competition or consistently point out personal flaws in others only intensifies the need to distance ourselves from people who’s points of view or ways of interacting are different from our own. 

So, how might we develop the self-awareness needed to not fall into this common trap? Rather than reacting to others with judgement, how can we chose to lean into curiosity by asking ourselves, “What can I learn from this person or what can I learn about myself and the ways I react when confronted with uncomfortable feelings?”.

When we can shift from judgement to curiosity, it helps to open space up for growth and understanding. But, it takes consistent practice to build the skills needed to recognize when judgements are arising in unhealthy, unproductive ways within us. 

This is especially true when it comes to leadership. The best leaders out there are the ones who have learned to identify the core emotions that are triggered when judgements arise for them. Rather than distancing themselves, they become even more curious by asking themselves questions such as: 

1. What emotions are being triggered for me in this moment? Identifying core emotions can help uncover what might be driving the judgment.
2. To what extent am I reacting out of insecurity, fear, or a desire to protect my own ego?Understanding the root cause of the judgment can help to shift your mindset.
3. What assumptions am I making about this person or situation? Questioning your assumptions opens the door to curiosity rather than defensiveness.
4. What can I learn from this person or situation that I may not have considered? This promotes a mindset of growth and understanding.
5. How might the judgments I’m casting be impacting my ability to lead effectively?Recognizing how judgment affects your leadership helps you stay aligned with your values.
6. What responsibility do I have in this situation? Acknowledging your role can foster accountability and proactive problem-solving.
7. To what extent have I addressed the underlying issues or challenges that may be contributing to this situation? Reflecting on earlier decisions or actions can help prevent similar issues in the future.
8. How can I approach this situation with more empathy, openness, and a willingness to understand? Focusing on empathy enables you to foster a healthier, more collaborative environment.
9. What would happen if I embraced curiosity instead of judgment in this moment? This question encourages a proactive, growth-oriented approach to leadership challenges.

These types of reflective questions help leaders stay grounded in self-awareness, allowing them to shift from reaction to reflection and from judgment to curiosity. The next time you find yourself feeling the urge to judge or distance yourself from someone, pause and consider which of these questions resonates most with your situation. By taking the time to reflect, you can uncover the deeper emotions being triggered and challenge yourself to open the door to a more empathetic, constructive approach. In doing so, you not only grow as a leader but also create space for greater understanding and more authentic collaboration within your team. 

Thanks for reading.