When mind is stronger than emotions

Believe me that it could take your lifetime to do what you want to achieve, unless you got that a 'steel strong' will that every time you get emotional, you could detach from the situation. Actually speaking, the mind is the body part, but not the brain. Perhaps the word mind was used to describe the workings of thinking and emotion or interaction between the intellect and emotion. So, if we feel an emotion, it is coming from the body that experienced it. And the experiences became thoughts in the body.

Thinking about it actually, when you felt an emotion, the body had sent that thought up into the brain through the neurons. The brain interprets the thought and sent to the senses. That is what we believed as emotion. Or even we believed we thought of it from the brain. It could be after the brain interpreted the thought. The experiences are recorded in the body through the physical atoms that make up the body. So, shall we say that the brain is not part if the body? The brain is where the Intelligence is. Perhaps the reason why the brain was placed at the top of the body was because it should be the organ system that carries the balancing of intellect and emotion.

However, not until we are able to use the 100% of the brain before we could say we are using the brain’s full capacity, because right now we only 'abuse' at least one fourth or one third of our brain. So, we do not actually control our emotions. But we understand the whole concept of existence we thought as Life.

The brain could only work in full capacity if we had also living our spiritual life while we exist in a physical body. If both physical and spiritual life is working in us, it will be easy to detach either from emotions or thoughts be they negative or positive. But it does not mean we will not have emotions, or thoughts. We were simply knowledgeable, a 100% kind of knowledge between the physical life and the physical life.

While trying to prevent thoughts coming into our mind, or trying to push away a particular thought from our mind is one of the prominent reasons why we suffer. This is because our such effort of avoiding or pushing away thoughts creates resistance in our mind and when it comes to our thoughts and feelings, that which is resisted is going to be persisted and that is the reason why they come back again and again.

And the only way you can have control over your thoughts and emotions is to live your life in awareness, in the Present Moment and be a witness, an observer of your own thoughts and feelings and finally realize that you are not your thoughts but that which is silently observing your thoughts. You need also to understand that thoughts are not the things but only thoughts; a form of energy. Its we attribute power to these thoughts to punish us.

We should learn to scream from our bottom of our stomach. Go somewhere alone like a tunnel when your voice would be muffled and let out your demonic scream. People who are stronger than their feelings can get angry and shout. Shout, growl, scream till you feel that confidence. Take growling lessons from internet and develop it slowly as a skill if you don’t feel it coming from the bottom of your stomach.

And when you feel hurt or are in pain, don’t bury it somewhere or forget about it. Don’t take drugs or alcohol either. Dominate the pain, it’s not stronger than you. It’s natural to feel hate and anger when someone cheats or hurts you. Let it out, defeat it, don’t shy out or think what people might say, that’s your feeling of fear and you’d have to defeat it too. Confidence at the core is enormous aggression, which brings us to the second point.

We need to develop physical aggression like boxing or karate lessons and and develop an ability and instinct to fight which would give you an edge against your perpetrators in hostile situations and give you the courage to stand up for yourself. Never get intimidated by anyone else’s aggression because you know they can’t beat you if it really comes down to a fight. I’d say, mess around purposefully and get into a fight until you start to win. It’d be huge confidence booster and a big defeat for any social anxiety.

And become a stoic like an extremely disciplined soldier. I don’t need to emphasise how this can be one of the best choices you make in your entire life. At the core, it’s resisting the temptations you have in favour of what you know is right. Go for hiking, marathons, and of course the tell tale make a time table. In personal life, know what your values are and stick by them like your life depends on it. Don’t define a new value system, but know how you function already and stick by it, endorse it and accept it. Never ever lie to yourself. Don’t tell yourself how you should feel, let it come out and let it be gone.

Finally develop a habit of winning and once you start winning every little thing you do. Develop an aggression, a passion and a habit in life for winning like a sportsman. Engage in sports if you need to. Do it until it gets etched to your personality, but not anymore. It’s a very risky path, and there are people who would go to any lengths just for winning and might lead you into a wrong territory. Know your limits and know when to back off. This is fundamental to the nature of human behaviour, which cannot be ignored.

Try to avoid intimacy: Don’t develop intimacy with people who are “meaner” than you or more selfish than you can ever be. They will break your heart and won’t regret it, but you definitely will. It’s like saying, if you cannot hurt them you don’t deserve them. It’s always such that one person needs their partner more than the other. I’ve been on both sides and I can say life’s much easier when you are not that one person, but it’s always late when you realise that, and that person becomes difficult to resist, you develop a soft corner for them and you cannot say no to them. To be able to say no with full conviction and not just because you have to because of your stupid rules, at that point is being stronger than your feelings. People respect such a person and respect is the foundation of love.

Coming to loving yourself the thing that you call “feelings” is basically an accumulation of all the times you were “impressed” by someone, those tiny moments of “defeat” when you came to believe that they are “better” than you. Ego denies, but heart knows. You’ll always find people who’d impress you on a personal level and make you fall in love with them, but remember, they don’t owe you anything just because you love them.

You are the only one you’ve got in life. Don’t feel guilty for being a little selfish. Don’t feel guilty for being a little sceptical of others charm, that’s your personal defence mechanism for what could just be lies and manipulations. Have high standards. Why should you settle for less than what your mind can’t accept? You don’t owe anyone anything. If you do, make sure you mean it. Cheers!