WHEN THE STONE MEETS THE PITCHER

"What if Someone Doesn’t Want to be Coached?"

It’s a question I get often, especially from managers overseeing large teams of blue-collar employees: “Can they opt-out of coaching?”

Rather than giving a straightforward answer, I asked one manager if he’d ever played sports. "Absolutely!" he replied, explaining how he’d played college basketball on a partial scholarship.

“Great,” I said, “now imagine telling your coach that you would like to opt out of coaching. How do you think he’d respond?”

He laughed, “I wouldn’t be crazy enough to suggest that. In sports, coaching isn’t an option.”

“So why should business be any different?” I replied. “We’re paying both you and your team to work together to win.”

This exchange highlights a common misconception. In recent years, business coaching has often been mistaken for casual advice from executive coaches—more like suggestions that can be taken or left, with no real obligation to follow through. But Catalytic Coaching is not about advice you can choose to ignore; it’s like sports coaching—a mutually beneficial obligation, an approach that ensures open, impactful conversations and fulfills a shared commitment to win.

Coaching Isn’t Just Kumbaya

In Catalytic Coaching, participation isn’t optional, nor is it always easy. Yes, it’s a supportive process that’s done for team members—not to them, as in traditional performance management. But that doesn’t mean it allows employees to sidestep areas the organization needs them to develop.

As Don Quixote once said, “Whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone, it’s going to be bad for the pitcher.” This is a vivid metaphor for the inevitable prioritization of business needs. While the manager’s direction is like the unyielding stone, an employee’s preference may be fragile in comparison. In cases where the two clash, there can be no prolonged debate. The team’s needs must take precedence.

The Reality Check

I once had worked with a young manager who, during the early days of 360 feedback, was quick to dismiss his boss’s low marks as "out of touch." With self-assessments, peer reviews, and direct report feedback, he’d built a case that his manager was missing something. I reminded him, “There’s only one person in this report who can fire you—maybe don’t dismiss their input so quickly.” It’s a humbling but critical truth in performance management.

This lesson frequently emerges in coaching sessions, too. It’s not uncommon to see assertive employees try to talk over their manager when feedback isn’t what they want to hear. That’s why Catalytic Coaching includes the “Job Threatening” message—a direct communication indicating that improvement in specific areas is essential for job security. After a meeting of this kind, HR, or ideally a Coach2 (coach of another coach), follows up to ensure the message is clear: “This must be corrected to retain your job. Do you understand? Would you like support creating a plan to turn things around?” Here, “when the stone meets the pitcher” is not just figurative; it’s a make-or-break moment.

Practical Tips for a Culture of Coaching

1. No Opt-Outs – Don’t leave any room for interpretation. Coaching is an essential activity, like any other core responsibility. Participation is required.

2. “DANGER” Zones – Be exceptionally clear on what constitutes a Job Threatening area. Even if you don’t use Catalytic Coaching, ensure your process clearly distinguishes between optional development and critical behaviors that impact employment.

3. Retire the PIP – Unless it’s contractually required, avoid Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs). They often carry a negative, legalistic tone that stirs resentment and can lead to legal disputes.

4. Prioritize Downward Feedback – While 360 reviews are valuable, the manager’s perspective has the biggest impact on an employee’s growth, retention, and pay. Always give priority to the boss’s feedback before blending it into the broader dataset.

A coaching culture—when embraced as a shared commitment—becomes an empowering force that drives the team forward. For those who truly want to contribute and grow, it’s not just guidance; it’s the roadmap to success.