Who is fixing you?

So here we are in January 2023 – how on earth did the festive season pass so quickly? Christmas and New Year is expected to be full of fun, friends and family but it can also be a time where people really struggle due to missing loved ones, illness and simply struggling to meet societies expectations of them and it can all be very overwhelming.

Mental health and wellbeing is all over social media, the news, in our everyday lives but WHAT it means to individuals can be very different. For me, as I’ve got older I’ve recognised that I can get overwhelmed very quickly and I really struggle to show it - probably due to my desire to please others, to be perfect, to not let anyone down and to find solutions to help. I work well under pressure – it is probably one of the reasons I love recruitment – it marries my desire to find solutions, to manage multiple projects, to connect people under demanding timescales. The problem though is, it is not sustainable.

Through my Spotlight series I’ve been privileged to speak to lots of HR Thought Leaders and through speaking to them, I can see that everyone sits somewhere on a mental health and wellbeing scale. Where you sit can change but make no mistake – we are all on it. For some periods of your life you are full of energy and positivity and then something happens – a trigger maybe or a life event that can hit you for six or something can happen that slowly starts sucking your energy out and before you know it you are struggling with everyday life and not quite sure how you got there.

An important lesson I have learned is that you cannot change what happens to you but you can CHANGE how you react to it, your actions and behaviours are all things YOU can control. Most people who know me, know I am someone who likes to be in control, I like to lead, I like to make a plan, I find solutions, you could say I fix stuff but last year I was speaking to my coach and she asked me, who fixes you?

For once, I didn’t have an answer and I felt hugely vulnerable. She made me see that I need to take my own advice and find ways to separate work from home and in all honesty home from work. Life is so consuming – good and bad and it is so important to recognise your own triggers and do something about it that will keep you physically and mentally healthy. Take time out just for you, for me I walk my dogs – dogs make me happy, they live in the moment and I often think it is a great way to live. I love the silence of our walks – by silence I don’t mean noise I mean there are no calls, no emails, no expectations from others for me to do something.…just my dogs wanting to enjoy life with me and I love that.

So here is what I’m trying to say, listen to your inner voice – rather than saying why is this happening TO me, ask yourself why is this happening FOR me?

I often think being a Recruiter is a little like being a therapist because the good recruiters out there listen more than they speak. They ask the right questions and they plant seeds that they already know you have but you just haven’t watered them yet!