who you work with matters: how to choose your next boss or client

Dear you,

Did you know who you work for can affect your individual performance? It can affect your motivation, creativity, mental health, productivity, job satisfaction, efficiency, and even your leadership style. Apparently, when you work under someone, you pick up some of their traits and their habits. This is why it is no surprise that you may pick traits, mannerisms, or expressions from your bosses whether you like them or not.

Endeavor has a study on high-impact entrepreneurs. How they birth high-impact entrepreneurs and inspire generations, paying it forward by actively mentoring, advising and investing in other founders in their local ecosystems. Since 1995, 13 former PayPal employees, including Peter Thiel (PayPal, Founders Fund), Elon Musk (Tesla, SpaceX) and Reid Hoffman (LinkedIn, Greylock Partners) have founded companies, actively advised and mentored founders, and invested over 1,000 times in 650 companies, creating arguably the community’s most important network of serial entrepreneurs and venture capitalists. This can also be seen with people who come out of Google and Jumia/Konga staff in Africa. Where you work matters.

This week TechCabal dropped an excellent piece tackling a brand's company culture and its impact on the staff's health. It reaffirmed that where you work and who you work with matters.

If it is true that you become who you spend time with, so why then are we not deliberate about choosing our bosses/employers and our clients?

The obvious answer is money. However, I wonder, is money worth your time/life, which you can never get back? This is even more relevant now, with the #HorribleBosses conversation.

The better question is, how can I choose my boss/employer/client?

1. Work first: Work for at least a year or two. One of the first ways to decide what you want is to identify what you do not wish to. But you will never know if you do not work first. You need to investigate. Volunteer, throw yourself at opportunities but observe. You learn by doing. Journal as often as you can. Investigate your wins, losses, and feelings, why you felt those feelings - why did you think/feel that way? What did you do about it? What do you like? What patterns are you noticing? Review your journal quarterly to see what you find yourself complaining about. Ask yourself why. Pay attention to patterns. Gradually you'd notice what you like, what you don't like, what you want in a boss, what you do not want, what factors influenced those choices.
2. Be a little selfish: Think deeply about your career. What do you want for yourself? What do you want to be known/remembered for? Remember - people will ask you what you did at the last company you worked with. They care about you and your impact. It is about you and your work. So what impact do you intend to make? What do you want to get out of this company? Knowing this would help you find your fuel. Do you want the experience, their name on your CV, the money, the recognition, visibility? Be honest with yourself and focus on this as a ladder. What can you benefit from working here as you sacrifice months/years in this company? Make sure it is a mutually beneficial relationship for you and the company. Remember how I told you not to work for free but always work for value. It applies here too. What is valuable enough in exchange for your time? If you are unsure what you want for your life, invest in a career coach. But no matter what, always sign off with excellence. Think of yourself as an intrapreneur. Your boss is your client, and your skill is the commodity. Treat every boss like a client. Be professional.
3. Ask questions + do your research: Working for someone is like moving into a new apartment. Before you pay your rent, ask the current renters (your future neighbours) their experience living there. They will tell you more than the landlord and agent put together. Before you work for any company, reach out to people who work there and ask questions. Have a 15 minutes e-chat with someone over zoom or something. Ask questions like "what has been your experience working here? What are the opportunities? What should I keep an eye out for? Is there anything I should be worried about? Are there growth opportunities? Search the company on Twitter and see how their employees talk about them. Check if they are always hiring for the same roles repeatedly. Check their staff retention rate. The interview is not just for the company to get to know you. It is also your chance to get to know the company. You are interviewing each other. Do your research to confidently decide if it is a fit for you.
4. Say no or yes with confidence: Hiring is essentially like dating. You are being hired because you have something to offer the company, and vice versa. No one is doing you a favour hiring you. They need you. You get to say yes or no. Your hands are not tied. You give yourself room to say yes to something else when you say no. Based on the list you wrote in number 1, you will know who to say yes and no to. It is your world. It is your life. Own it! You are the main character in your life, and you don't have a spare. Don't waste it on a job or with a client you absolutely dislike and are not getting value from.
5. Read your contract and offer letter: The tone of these documents and their content can give you an inclination of the kind of company you are about to work for, whether they would be slave drivers. Reach out to a lawyer friend or someone to review the contract with you. If they say you have no leave days, ask why. It might mean that company doesn't value breaks, and even animals go on vacation, so why not you? You are not a robot. There's more to a job than just salary. Salary cannot buy peace of mind. Their travel perks, leave days, maternity/paternity policies, pregnancy policies, harassment policies, coach/therapy availability, freedom, etc., could tell you whether or not a company puts their staff as a priority. Don't be afraid to negotiate more than your salary, negotiate your benefits if they don't sit well with you.

Remember, if you want to work with the best boss, invest in being a good employee. If you don't know what it means to be one, ask. Seek therapy. Unpack, uncover, and things would get a little brighter for you. A bad boss or client can make you hate your job and turn a passion into a nightmare. First, however, investigate - is this a bad boss/client, or is this a difficult boss/client? Difficult clients challenge your ideas, make changes, and even question your process. Their intentions are for the greater good of the project (not to take advantage of you). They respect you and are willing to work with you to find a middle ground. But bad clients/bosses disrespect you, do not pay you, insult you, etc. To handle demanding clients, you need to ask better questions and truly listen to what is said and unsaid. This quote by Henry Ford stands out for me.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.

That, to me, sounds like someone who is not willing to listen. People know what they want. They may just be unable to articulate it. People only knew horses then. If he were listening, he would have heard that they wanted something to take them faster from point A to B. If that were a bicycle, a scooter, a car, or an aeroplane, they would pay for it (and that's the reality today). By listening to your client or employer, you can birth magic. You can create magic with empathy by taking your boss's/client's feedback.

Difficult clients and bosses can be managed but bad clients and employers/bosses should be fired. Especially if they are hurting your mental health.

I can go on and on, but let's stop here for now. Remember, this is your life. You get to choose, and you do not not have a choice. You have a choice pick where you work and who you work for. If you don't like it, you can change it. It is not black and white, but you have the guts to walk away and birth magic. You might not be bad. The company/boss/employer might just be bad for you. You might just need to be somewhere else to flourish. You might be a Khaby Lame who was fired and became a TikTok/Instagram influencer. You might also just be Sheryl Sandberg who has worked for Facebook/Meta since forever and is now a billionaire. All our paths are different, and I hope you find the one that's right for your journey.

With Love,

Blessing Abeng.