Why Being the Youngest of 5 Made Me a Good Leader

As the youngest member of any family, especially a large one like mine, will tell you, it’s important to develop a healthy degree of humility to navigate your somewhat insignificant status in the world. Without a seat at the table (literally, sometimes), you also need to cultivate a certain amount of assertiveness and independence, which are necessary if you want to be seen, heard, and respected. It’s the only way to get things done. 

These are great qualities to have when starting a company. Here are a few more skills that youngest siblings may pick up when making their way from the bottom to the top. (Related: How to Balance Work With a Big Family)

1. Youngest siblings are terrific observers. 

As a kid, everyone around me was pretty busy. My parents had four other minors to deal with, plus their own lives and careers, so it was easy to get overlooked, especially when you’re the smallest human in the house. Most of what I learned during that period came from paying attention to what was going on around me and figuring things out on my own.

This is one of the most valuable lessons from my childhood. I keep it in mind every day in my job as a founder and CEO of hint water. I couldn’t have gotten my business off the ground without this sense of self-sufficiency. Nearly 15 years ago, I was launching a business with no experience in the beverage industry, and I felt like the youngest kid on the block all over again. Industry veterans didn’t seem to have any time to answer any of my questions. 

Eventually, you, too, grow into one of those busy people. You get set in your routines. You get caught up in day-to-day life and work. In those moments, you might feel like you have it all figured out. Wrong. What this really means is you’ve stopped paying attention to what’s just outside your immediate scope. And what you’re missing can be valuable! (Related: 3 Reasons Why Successful Entrepreneurs Make Time For Hobbies)

Anybody—regardless of where they stood in the birth order or even if they were an only child—can keep this observer mentality in mind and really benefit from it. I wouldn’t have been able to get create hint water without it. 

2. Youngest siblings go after what they want in strategic way. 

I didn’t just have to figure things out on my own as a kid, but also, I had to get them done on my own, too. I got used to speaking up loudly and assertively because that was often the only way for me to get anyone to listen. At first, this took the form of pestering whomever was in earshot, but as I got older, I learned that I had to be a little more tactful and develop skills of negotiation. 

Later, as a CEO, this skill that I had perfected in my youth turned out to be quite useful. I was unafraid to make massive asks from huge companies, like Whole Foods and Starbucks, while realizing I had to play up how I could help them in return.

If you don’t already have this prowess ingrained in you, then know this: Don’t expect that anything will “just get done” for you or that anyone will automatically listen to what you want or need. Sometimes, you have to learn to speak up a little louder, but in a way that’s strategic and is focused on how what you need can benefit the other party in the conversation rather than just yourself. 

This is particularly important to remember as you get more seasoned in your career, which is typically when you start to expect things to get done for you. You know, the “someone else will handle it” mentality. Sure, you’ll get what you need, eventually. But the answer, often, is no. You need to be ready to speak up and take action at any time, and know that people aren’t going to just automatically listen and help for no reason.

3. Youngest siblings are born to be independent. 

While there are certainly drawbacks to having so many siblings as I did, one of the huge upsides is the fact that I wasn’t being constantly monitored. No set of parents can keep tabs on five kids at all times. When I was 14, I saw a “help wanted” sign in the window of a local toy store and I just walked in and asked about a part-time job on weekends. I was hired. (I’m pretty sure the owner thought I was older than 14, but, hey, they never asked.)

As a result, I grew up not really caring much about what others thought and not getting too worried about the consequences. Some people have grown up in environments where they became obsessed with consequences because their parents, or siblings or other adults in their lives, monitored them too heavily. I see this a lot in the workplace, especially with younger employees who aren’t too far removed from having their parents call the shots in their lives. 

There’s a popular startup saying of “ask forgiveness, not permission,” and it definitely applies here. Sometimes, you’re going to need to ask forgiveness, sure, but more often than not, people are unnecessarily concerned about what others might think. Stop wasting your time and energy.

Being the youngest kid in a big family has been invaluable to me as a CEO, and I get that not a whole lot of people grew up with this experience. But the good news is, anyone, at any age, who grew up with any number of siblings (or none at all) can learn the same lessons. Especially, if you’re just starting a new company. In that sense, you’re the “youngest kid” in your industry and adopting that mindset can bring you a ton of benefits.

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Let’s Connect! Find me onTwitter(@KaraGoldin), and DM me your burning business questions and/or comments.

Kara Goldin is the founder and CEO of San Francisco–basedhint®, a healthy lifestyle brand that produces the leading unsweetened flavored water and a scented sunscreen spray that’s oxybenzone- and paraben-free. Listen to her podcast,Unstoppable, where she interviews founders, entrepreneurs, and disruptors across various industries and keep up with her onTwitter,Facebook, andInstagram.