Why I climb.

Mother’s Day 2020 is the day I founded The Accidental Ally. Mother’s Day 2024 marks the fourth anniversary of our mission to create career pathways for people with cognitive and intellectual disabilities. We have come a long way since I birthed this idea on Mother’s Day 2020. I have learned a lot from my work and continue to do so.

‘Why I climb?’ is the third story in the series I started with ‘Why I write’ I wrote that piece when I was about to start the Kumano Kodo Pilgrimage in Japan. Shortly after, I wrote ‘Why I travel’, an article about my solo travel adventures and why I do them.

Why I write

I began writing at 35, the same year I was diagnosed with cancer. The realization of my mortality compelled me to leave behind more than just memories. I write for my children, grandchildren, and future generations, hoping to share my life experiences and inspire them to embrace life’s journey fully, as I have demonstrated with my choices in my life. My writing is my sacred practice — a meditation that brings clarity amidst life’s chaos. Through my words, I honor the women who paved the way before me and celebrate the freedoms I enjoy today. Writing is not just an act; it’s an expression of love — for my family, my ancestors, and most importantly, for myself.

Why I travel

Traveling solo for me is about transcending conventional birthday celebrations and embracing a journey of self-discovery and growth. It’s a deliberate choice to break free from routine, empower my children through independence, and cultivate a deeper understanding of the world. Through encounters with diverse cultures and people, I’ve found unexpected teachers and profound insights guiding my personal and professional experiences. Solo travel gives me the gift of silence, an experience full of spontaneity, and reaffirms my unflinching optimism in the universal language of humanity. So, where to go next? I always wait for the signal to guide me to my next adventure, trusting in the journey ahead.

Why I Climb

My solo travels have taken me from the serenity of Varanasi to the incredible beauty of Lisbon and the ruins of Angkor Wat. For the next few trips, I found myself visiting UNESCO Heritage sites, from walking the Camino de Santiago in Spain to exploring the ancient temples of Ubud in Bali to walking the serene Kumano Kodo pilgrimage in Japan to climbing the Wayana Pichu mountain in Machu Pichu, Peru.

Each of these trips had a common theme — climbing — and lots of it. Each of these trips has been physically demanding, often leading to a lot of pain and discomfort. I recall that while walking the Camino de Santiago in Spain, I had blisters and swollen feet in under 24 hours of walking. It was due to my poor choice of shoes and a lack of preparedness. But it was an incredibly painful experience to endure over five days of walking 12+ hours a day with blistered and swollen feet.

Another example was my climb of Wayana Pichu mountain in Peru earlier this year. The steps were so high and steep that it made it difficult to maintain balance. The higher I climbed, the more disoriented I got, and my extreme fear of heights kicked in. I was sure that the mountain was where all my adventures ended. I was preparing to die up there. But I didn’t. I made it back safely and lived to tell my children the story when I returned home. My kids often ask me why I choose to put my body through so much pain and discomfort, especially on a trip to celebrate my birthday. I cannot tell them why other than to say that my choices are intuitive. I have always followed my instincts and gone with the flow to the next destination.

Every year, on Mother’s Day, I reflect on my experiences as a mom and a friend to my two beautiful children, Riya and Rohan, three beautiful fur babies, Sam, Penny, and Jude, the entire team of the accidental ally, and all past, present, and future team members whom I love with all my heart! I take great pride and care in nurturing the people I love. But there is one person I haven’t really loved in this way. That person is me.

My solo travels have allowed me the time to get to know myself and why I do hard things on my travels. Here is what I came up with —

• Pushing the limits of my grit — Very few people know that I have lived in constant pain and discomfort for almost a decade owing to some of my health issues. It has become a part of who I am. Putting myself through rigorous, physically demanding experiences helps me test the limits of my grit. Each time, I push myself farther and farther. I am blown away by how adaptable and resilient my body is. This gives me assurance that I am not as sick and weak as I think I am.
• Doing the impossible — I have never been the person who would go on adventures, let alone travel alone. I am a small-town girl who didn’t travel much till I was 22 years old. Going after what seems impossible for me is thrilling and gives me a sense of accomplishment.
• Becoming comfortable with fear — When I walked the Kumano Kodo pilgrimage, I walked alone for 7–8 hours a day in the mountains of the Kii peninsula. All I heard was the sound of the forest around me. I have a crippling fear of snakes. The trail through the forest was ancient, untouched, and covered in tree roots. I could not tell if I was stepping on a tree root or a black viper! At one point, I decided that I would make peace with the idea that if a snake did bite me, I could not do much about it. I kept walking and was happy to say I had no encounters with snakes during the entire 5-day walk. I learned how to calm my fear and make friends with it. It did not completely disappear but stopped dominating my senses after a while. When you walk for extended periods of time on challenging terrains like this one, you get to a point where exhaustion becomes hallucination. I don’t know if I was hallucinating, but there was a day when I heard a wild boar singing for about 30 minutes or so. It was a persistent grunt that had a strange melody to it. I laughed out loud, thinking, what’s the worst that could happen? To encounter a snake or a wild boar???
• Continuing to persist — The last day of the Kumano Kodo pilgrimage was the most challenging, with what felt like a climb with endless steps. The constant incline, giant stone steps, and uneven terrain were exhausting. I was excited to finish the pilgrimage and get the last stamp on my pilgrim passport. But when I finally reached the shrine, I was so tired that I forgot to get the stamp. After I walked down to the bus stand, I realized I had forgotten the stamp. There was no way I was going to leave without it. This meant I had to climb all those steps again. It took me a few hours to do it. When I got to the shrine, the lady at the counter told me that the stamp was located near the waterfall near the bus stand. That is where I was just a few hours ago!! I walked back down, hiked to the waterfall, which was another steep climb, got my stamp, and walked back to the bus stand. I couldn’t feel my body at this point. I was floating in the air, covered in sweat, feeling dizzy as I boarded the bus to my hotel. I cannot remember what happened that night, but I recall wondering what gave me the strength to persist in this way. I got a glimpse of the total badass I can be when I want something. It was such an incredible experience to meet that part of me. I smiled with my eyes closed the whole ride back to my hotel!
• Being in the flow — I follow a rhythm after day 2 of these adventures. It seems to kick in right around 48 hours. I wake without an alarm, get ready, put on my hiking boots, and glide through the day. Rinse and repeat the next day, and so it goes.
• Being awe-inspired — I went to Peru to visit the Sacred Lagoons, a complex of lagoons high up in the Andes that the locals worship for their medicinal properties. The black lagoon, especially, is considered sacred. After the mountain hike, we returned to the village for a meal and a visit with the local shaman. We were in a small village in the mountains with some of the poorest people and basic amenities, and it was cut off from the rest of the world. During my session with the shaman, he said his prayers and sat before me, closing his eyes. When he started speaking, he spoke about how he saw me as a teacher with many charismatic students in a beautiful office space where everyone enjoys learning and being together. He said many other things, but the most noteworthy was that he said — ‘They are coming. There are more out there, and they are coming’. I was stunned as I stared at Google Translate on my phone, translating everything he said. How did this man know who I am, what I do, and where I live?
• Learning to ask for help — The climb to Wayana Pichu would not have happened if it hadn’t been for my local guide, Ramulo, who patiently waited for me to climb at my own pace. The steep climb was so challenging in some places that I couldn’t help but shed some tears. He waited for me to get over it, and we climbed more. Soon, we were on top of the mountain. By this time, the fog covering the mountain had cleared, and we had an incredible view of Machu Picchu. I sat there crying some more, but I cried happy tears this time. The climb down was equally challenging, but it was all worth it!
• Coming home — I look forward to heading home at the end of my trips for many obvious reasons, but mainly because I want the energy from the trips to permeate my daily life. It is tough to do this, but I try to imbibe what I have learned from my experiences into my life. I enjoyed being at many destinations and have brought that simplicity into my life. It has indeed been a life-changing experience.

Happy Mother’s Day and Happy Birthday, Accidental Ally

As I celebrate with my loved ones this weekend, I cannot help but think about all the climbs I have done globally and will continue to go as far as my body and mind will take me.

My work with the Accidental Ally has significantly benefitted from my travels. A lot of times, our work feels like climbing while —

• Pushing the limits of what we can do with this incredible team of people with cognitive and intellectual disabilities
• doing the impossible task of paving a career path for these individuals
• becoming comfortable with the fear of rejection, failure, and disregard
• Continuing to persist despite the lack of support and resources needed to succeed
• Being in the flow of learning, exploring, and loving each other for who we are as people
• Being awe-inspired by what we are uncovering each day in the form of hidden potential in these individuals
• Learning to ask for help has connected us to some incredible catalysts who, with their ideas, support, words of encouragement, and connections, have elevated our work to new levels. We are grateful for these individuals who believe what we believe!
• Finally, we come home to appreciate what a special place we have created for ourselves and for others like us. A place where we accept and love each other for who we are and where we nurture and grow together.

I will keep climbing for as long as possible because that is the only way I know how to live.

Happy Mother’s Day to you all!