Why Maternity Leave is a Myth

When I went on maternity leave, I had no idea that I would never return.

The word leave, in itself, means to depart from something permanently, but before having Isla, I thought it was just a pause button on work.

Over the past week, I’ve been struggling to figure out why everything feels so different now.

I think it’s me.

I think I’ve changed and didn’t notice the transformation brewing within me in the midst of the chaos of diaper changes and sleepless nights.

But as I was surviving the days, I was becoming somebody new.

The way I drive a little slower and honk my horn (to signal “you’re an idiot”) less.

The level of patience that’s grown from rocking a baby that won’t settle until your arms and back hurt, and creating a home cooked meal from scratch only to have a toddler look you square in the eye as they toss it from their high chair onto the floor.

The compassion I suddenly feel for mothers everywhere, and the love that’s evolved for my own mother for the sacrifices she made that I didn’t fully understand until now.

The way that I log into LinkedIn and my email inbox, back to working a couple days a week, and loving having a slice of myself back so much…

…but also it feels like that part has changed too.

I’m no longer seeking the validation that I used to need, no longer feverishly refreshing my posts to see how many likes it’s gotten…

…because her toothy smile as she squeals MAAAma with a clumsy embrace is more than I’ll ever need to feel whole.

The me before motherhood may be gone forever, but stepping into her place is a version that I can’t wait to get to know.

So, hi friend, it’s really nice to meet you ☺️

Let me know if you're a parent and this piece resonated with you!

Love and coffee, Mick