Why You Need an Inner Circle that Gets It

Why You Need an Inner Circle that Gets It

Sometimes, I’m afraid to get my hopes up when something looks promising. I don’t even like to tell people about opportunities because I dread having to explain if things don’t work out—especially when it feels like no one around me can relate.

 

For example:

 

  • Dating: I dated a lot of guys in my 20s and 30s before meeting my husband at 40. My parents were high school sweethearts, together for 60 years; they couldn’t understand what was taking me so long to figure it out. 
  • Finishing my PhD: Going into it, I thought it would take four years—it took seven. Every time someone casually asked, “Did you finish your paper yet?” it felt like they were dismissing my massive dissertation as just a high school essay. But no one in my inner circle had a PhD, so they couldn't imagine what was involved. 
  • Job Interviews: After finally graduating, I went on a number of job interviews, only to discover some had inside candidates, and meeting with other applicants was just a formality. 

  • Trying to get pregnant: I was successful once—but only once. (I was ready to punch the next person who said, “If you’re planning on having another, you’d better get started!” Uh, thanks, why didn’t I think of that…)

 

Life is full of setbacks. Finding the balance between excitement and hope, while protecting yourself from disappointment, is tough. And the unhelpful (or downright stupid) comments from others don’t make it easier.

 

Most people meant well, but they just didn’t “get it.” Finding an inner circle who can relate and meaningfully support you is essential for your mental health AND overall success, personally and professionally.

 

Show someone YOU “Get it”

 

This is why I'm passionate about organizations like The Adoption Center, who serve the needs of children who — through no fault of their own — are in foster care.

 

These kids feel like no one truly “gets” them, and they need more people to hear their voices, and make them feel like they matter.

 

(There are over 7,000 children in foster care in the Philadelphia area alone, and over 100,000 children across the US, all waiting for permanent families!)

 

As part of their programming, the Adoption Center is doing something special this fall to bring some extra joy and connection to these children.

 


Their Winter Wishes Campaign aims to fulfill the holiday gift wishes of older children and teens in foster care, helping them feel seen, heard, and loved.

 

Here are three ways you can help:

 

  1. Send a gift from the Adoption Center’s Winter Wishes Amazon Wishlist  
  2. Donate to the Winter Wishes Campaign via Givebutter 
  3. Get involved: Visit adopt.org to explore other ways to support, from volunteering to fostering or adopting and more.

 

And if you have personal experience with adoption or foster care —whether as a child, foster parent, or adoptive parent—I would love to hear your story! Please reply to this email and share your experiences with me. Your voice matters.

 

Finding an Inner Circle that “Gets It” on YOUR Career Journey

 

Just like children in foster care need people who understand and support them, you need an inner circle that “gets it” when you're navigating the ups and downs of your professional journey—especially when you're in the job market as an executive.

 

Sometimes, you need a peer group that’s in the trenches with you, people who share the same struggles and goals. That’s why I created the Quantum Leap program, to provide a network of executives who understand the challenges of finding fulfilling leadership roles.

 

Here’s what you’ll gain from Quantum Leap:

 

  • A supportive network that shares tips, experiences and best practices for navigating the job market. 
  • Clarity on what you truly want from your next role—personally, professionally, and financially. 
  • Strategies to get “the inside scoop” on job opportunities, corporate culture and internal politics 
  • Confidence in articulating your personal brand and value proposition in interviews and networking. 
  • ready-to-go repertoire of polished success stories you can tell during interviews, to showcase your achievements with the perfect balance of competence, confidence and relatability.

 

With Quantum Leap, you don’t have to face these challenges alone. You’ll have the support, tools, and resources you need to succeed—alongside peers who truly understand your journey. Visit quantumleap-coaching.com to learn more.

 

One thing is universal: We all need an inner circle that “gets us,” personally and professionally.

 

When in doubt, show some kindness to someone else by letting them know that you get it.

Shelani van Niekerk

I empower driven women to excel by overcoming the fear of being heard and taking lead, enhancing their speaking impact and confidence to say yes to opportunities.

1mo

This hit a nerve. Thank you so much for creating a place where people can go to feel like others 'get it.' I relate to this feeling like no one in my circles really gets it. People keep saying the wrong things, but mean well. I also know that my feet will take me where I need to go. You always end up meeting the right people, just like you did. It is about trusting the path you walk on, and committing to it everyday. I don't 'count my chickens before they hatch', because I know there is no security in existence. It is in the challenges that comes toward us out of the future where we grow the most. The not so beautiful is of use to our development and if it was not there we would not be able choose to cultivate patience, we would not be willing to learn, have the tenacity to ride a rough road or deepen our compassion. If it were not for feeling like no one gets it, wonderful ideas like yours would not be created out of strong will. x

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