Why You Should Never Set New Resolution Goals (And What To Do Instead)

We’ve all heard lots of chatter about setting goals, establishing goals, and completing goals… but what if I told you that your “goals” are counter-productive?

You see, especially as we enter a new year and decade, it’s important to recognize that “goals” can often be problematic and short-sighted.

They are built on limited thinking and, in most cases, come from a place of disempowering beliefs - what you’re not or what you will earn if you accomplish said “goals”. 

In our minds, goals are typically some way of feeling a value - I achieved this, now I’m that… either in the eyes of someone else or ourselves. 

Oftentimes, it starts from a place of - I’m not enough.

The problem here is certainly NOT your level of work, hustle, or exertion. In fact, you’re likely really good as “trying harder”.

As such, it can be really exhausting (and frustrating) when you’re spending so much energy and still not getting to your “goals”.

Instead of “goals”, a more empowering approach would be to build a new algorithm to drive results in your life… I want you to design a lifestyle that produces your desired result ORGANICALLY — that’s where we’re headed, more on that in a minute.

First, let’s dive into more reasons why your goals are not serving you the way you think they should.

Here are the problems with Goals:

1.  Winners and losers have the same goals

• Every Olympian wants to win a gold medal. 
• Every candidate wants to get the job. 
• Every actor wants to win an Oscar award.

So if successful and unsuccessful people share the same goals, then the goal cannot be what differentiates the winners from the losers.

Both apply the same effort and desire… yet, not everyone achieves their goal. 

2.  Goals impede your happiness

Many runners work hard for months, but as soon as they cross the finish line, they stop training. The race is no longer there to motivate them. When all of your hard work is focused on a particular goal, what is left to push you forward after you achieve it? 

This is why many people find themselves reverting to their old habits after accomplishing a goal.

3.  Achieving a goal is only a momentary change

• The implicit assumption behind any goal is this: “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy.”
• The moment you achieve one goal, you’re off to set another.
• You’re always putting off “happy” because you never actually arrive.

4.  Goals are at odds with long-term progress

I've found that goals are good for measuring a business outcome - your “key performance indicators” However, habits are good for actually MAKING progress.

Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually, a well-designed system will ALWAYS win. Having a system of habits is what matters. Committing to the process is what makes the difference.

James Clear, the author of the book, “Atomic Habits”, describes forming healthy habits as a success system of sorts:

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”  ~ James Clear

5.  Falling short of a goal implies “failure”.

When a goal is not reached, our reptilian brains equate that with feelings of “less than” or inadequacy. We can often carry around a sense of shame or uselessness… transferring a lower sense of self into our psyche… even if we made significant progress.

So all of this is to say that DAILY ROUTINES produce far more results than the use of temporary goals.

As such, I like to replace the term “Goals” with “accomplishments”.

So when I endeavor to practice my strategic HABITS every day… the ACCOMPLISHMENTS become a natural bi-product.

So now it becomes a matter of you falling in love with the process of HABITS rather than the product of the GOALS. 

Therefore, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy… you take pleasure in your continual progress each and every day… like hits of dopamine every day to carry you and build momentum, satisfaction, and fulfillment.

The question now is:

“What do I want to accomplish?”

And then designing a lifestyle of habits that produces those kinds of accomplishments.

• What kind of man accomplishes the things I want to accomplish?
• What are their habits - relationships, network, books, learnings, values?
• What of those habits can I imitate and implement into my own lifestyle?

Once formed, habits operate automatically. 

Habits take otherwise difficult tasks— like saving money or networking new relationships — and make them easy.

🚀 Habits mean we can even OVERSHOOT our goals

🚀 Habits are easy to complete, measurable, and a source of daily encouragement

🚀 Habits are for life, keeping progress and results continually

“First we make our habits, then our habits make us.” ~ Charles C. Nobel

HABITS BECOME YOUR LIFESTYLE

Your lifestyle is a series of habits…

And good habits help us reach our accomplishments more effectively and efficiently. 

Effective habits powerfully influence our automatic behavior.

And for those of you thinking this — the difference between habits and goals is NOT semantic…

Each requires different forms of action. 

For example:

• We want to learn a new language. We could decide we want to be fluent in six months (goal), or we could commit to 30 minutes of practice each day (habit).
• We want to read more books. We could set the goal to read 50 books by the end of the year, or we could decide to always carry a book with us (habit).
• We want to spend more time with our families. We could plan to spend seven hours a week with them (goal), or we could choose to eat dinner with them each night (habit).

Therefore, the more you connect with your NEW identity of this lifestyle, the more effortless and effective your transformation and accomplishments.

Don’t focus on the end result… focus on the rituals you implement on a daily basis.

HABITS ARE THE ALGORITHMS OPERATING IN THE BACKGROUND, POWERING OUR LIVES

Here’s your plan:

• Who is the man that does what I want to accomplish?
• What are his habits and rituals?
• How can I implement similar strategies in my life?

And I would be remised if I didn’t also mention that the habits are not merely an act of changing behaviors only… 

You must also understand that the person who does these accomplishments is a different person than you are today.

Your focus for these new habits requires that you develop a new sense of self

- a new identity in how you see who you are and what you can do.

Elevating your identity empowers your habits and the two operate in tandem.

The truth is, if you’re only trying to change your actions, it will be challenging.

• Behavioral modification is temporary.
• Belief modification is permanent. (your identity)

It’s also more sustainable, more effective, and more empowering.

So for 2022, my encouragement to you is to build a plan around implementing the habits and lifestyle that will serve your dreams...

and let them carry you, NATURALLY and ORGANICALLY, into the outcomes and accomplishments you dream.

------

Do you want help with this?

I help high-performing men navigate their next steps towards more powerful lives.

Schedule a complimentary 45min Strategy Session with me:  HERE'S MY CALENDAR