Willingness vs. Unwillingness: The Choice That Shapes Your Life

The Power of Willingness

We all have a sense of whether we're willing or unwilling, but have you ever really explored how these attitudes shape your life? If things aren’t going to plan, it’s worth asking yourself: Are you truly open to considering what you are willing—or unwilling—to see, change, or do? Understanding the nuances of willingness and unwillingness can be eye-opening and transformative.

In our journey towards self-improvement and achieving our goals, the concept of willingness plays a crucial role. It’s not just about wanting something but being truly open to the changes and efforts required to attain it. Today, I'm coming back to Gary John Bishops's book Unfck Yourself* and in particular chapter two, where he explores the transformative power of willingness. Understanding this principle can unlock doors to personal growth and success that we may not have realised were within our reach.

We often think that success, happiness, and fulfillment are tied to external circumstances or luck. But what if the key to moving forward, to transforming your life, boils down to one simple question: Are you willing?

Let’s explore how willingness (or lack of it) impacts every decision we make, and how journaling can help uncover what you’re truly willing—and unwilling—to do.

Willingness or Unwillingness

In Chapter 2 of Unfck Yourself*, Gary John Bishop explores the concept of willingness and its impact on our lives. He argues that the fundamental distinction between those who achieve their goals and those who don’t often comes down to their level of willingness. It’s not merely about desiring change but being ready to embrace it fully, despite the challenges.

Bishop explains that willingness is more than just an attitude; it’s an active choice that requires us to step out of our comfort zones. It involves making a conscious decision to confront and overcome the barriers that stand between us and our goals. Whether it’s tackling fears, enduring discomfort, or committing to a long-term effort, true willingness means being prepared to do whatever it takes.

He also highlights the common tendency to blame external circumstances for our lack of progress. By focusing on factors outside our control, we avoid the uncomfortable truth that our unwillingness to change is often the real barrier. Bishop encourages us to shift our perspective and recognise that our willingness—or lack thereof—shapes our reality.

In summary, willingness is a powerful force that drives us to take action and face challenges head-on. It’s about making a firm commitment to change and growth, regardless of the obstacles we may encounter. By embracing willingness, we empower ourselves to break free from limitations and pursue our goals with renewed determination.

Willingness: The Gateway to Change

Willingness is about more than just saying “Yes, I want to change.” It’s about being truly open to doing what it takes to make that change happen. Often, we say we want things—success, happiness, growth—but when it comes to taking action, we hesitate. That’s where the real difference lies between being willing and simply wishing for something.

Willingness means committing to the process, even when it’s uncomfortable. It means taking responsibility for your life and understanding that nothing will change unless you’re willing to take consistent action.

Journaling Prompt: What areas of my life have I been holding back in because I’m unwilling to step outside my comfort zone?

The Impact of Unwillingness

In contrast to willingness, unwilliess is a state of resistance and avoidance. Gary John Bishop explores the consequences of being unwilling in Chapter 2 of Unfck Yourself*. When we are unwilling, we often find ourselves trapped in patterns of complacency and stagnation, unable to make meaningful progress towards our goals.

Unwillingness manifests in various ways, such as procrastination, denial, and a lack of commitment. It’s a protective mechanism that keeps us within our comfort zones, shielding us from the discomfort and uncertainty of change. However, this resistance can lead to frustration and missed opportunities.

Bishop points out that unwillingess often stems from fear of failure or a reluctance to face the effort required for change. It’s the voice that tells us “it’s too hard” or “I’m not ready yet,” preventing us from moving forward. This state of mind not only hinders personal growth but can also perpetuate feelings of dissatisfaction and inadequacy.

However, unwillingness can also be a powerful driver. For instance, being unwilling to live a life that feels unfulfilled can propel us towards action. This form of unwillingness drives us to demand more from our relationships, work conditions, and financial situations. It becomes a catalyst for change, motivating us to confront our fears and challenge the status quo. When we channel our unwillingness productively, it can become a powerful force for transformation.

To harness the power of unwillingnessess, we need to channel it constructively. Instead of letting it trap us in a cycle of frustration, we can use it as fuel to push for better conditions, healthier relationships, and a more fulfilling life. By recognizing the areas where we are unwilling and transforming that resistance into action, we pave the way for meaningful change and personal growth.

In summary, unwillingness can either keep us stuck in dissatisfaction or drive us towards transformative change. By acknowledging and addressing our unwillingness, we can break free from barriers and use that resistance as a powerful motivator to achieve our goals and enhance our lives.

Journaling Prompt:What am I currently unwilling to do that’s holding me back from achieving my goals?

The Power of Choice

Here’s the powerful part: willingness is a choice. Every single day, you have the opportunity to decide whether you’re willing to show up for yourself and do what it takes. It’s not about perfection—it’s about progress. Being willing doesn’t mean you won’t stumble or struggle, but it means you’re committed to showing up, trying again, and pushing through the discomfort.

When we choose to be willing, we open doors that we never thought possible. Even the smallest willingness can lead to monumental shifts in our lives. Whether it’s being willing to take the first step, have a tough conversation, or try something completely new, each act of willingness builds momentum and confidence.

Journaling Prompt: What’s one small thing I can be willing to do today to move closer to my goal?

Turning Unwillingness into Willingness

So, how do you move from unwilling to willing? It starts with recognising that unwillingness is often tied to fear or discomfort. Journaling can help uncover the deeper reasons behind why you’re unwilling to act. Once you identify the root cause, you can start shifting your mindset by breaking the process down into smaller, more manageable steps.

Start by challenging yourself to take one small step toward what you’re unwilling to do. It doesn’t have to be big, but it does have to be intentional. Over time, these small acts of willingness will build, helping you break through resistance and create real change.

Journaling Prompt: What’s one step I can take today to become more willing in an area where I’ve been resistant?

Scribble & Soul at Harry Edwards Foundation

Now, here’s where things get exciting! If you’re ready to dive deeper into this process of self-reflection and transformation, I’m thrilled to invite you to the Scribble & Soul program at the Harry Edwards Foundation. This in-person experience is designed to help you explore your thoughts, embrace your fears, and use journaling as a tool for personal growth and creative expression.

We’ll work through powerful journaling exercises designed to help you face your fears, shift your mindset, and start creating the life you want. It’s about finding clarity in the uncertainty and using it as a springboard for something greater.

Interested? Learn more and secure your spot here: Scribble & Soul Program

Book directly here: The Harry Edwards Foundation

The Scribble and Soul program is designed to foster holistic personal growth by integrating journaling practices that enhance creativity, emotional well-being, and self-awareness.

Each session stands alone, allowing you the flexibility to attend one, a few, or all six sessions for a comprehensive experience.

Places are limited to 20 participants per session, sessions start on Saturday 12th October 2024 (1030am through 3pm with breaks)

Saturday 16th November 2024

Sunday 8th December 2024