World Kindness Day: Are You Being Nice or Kind?

Welcome to Love Mondays More the weekly LinkedIn newsletter that delves deeper into the ideas and concepts driving my Love Mondays email newsletter series.

Why ‘Love Mondays’? Mondays are often the low part of the week, earning the title of “worst day of the week” by the Guinness World Records. So I aim to provide a 4-minute caffeine hit of content to fire up the other 10,076 minutes of your week and stave off the Monday malaise. Don’t just live Mondays, love Mondays!

Today, as we celebrate World Kindness Day, it's an opportune moment to shine a well-deserved spotlight on kindness. In a world that yearns for more compassion and goodwill, kindness isn't confined to our personal lives alone—it rightfully belongs in our workplaces and within our leadership.

Cultivating kindness in the workplace unleashes a domino effect of positivity, elevating employee engagement, job satisfaction, commitment, and creativity. Simultaneously, it plays a pivotal role in enhancing overall wellbeing, resulting in reduced stress levels and absenteeism.

As leaders, it's natural to focus on measurable outcomes and organisational success, but what if we harnessed the power of kindness as a means to achieve these goals? What if we delved deeper and asked - Are we leading with genuine kindness, or are we merely going through the motions? Are our teams thriving, or are they merely surviving in our care? As leaders, what can we do to elevate our kindness quotient (the measure of our capacity for kindness, empathy, and compassion, reflecting our ability to put others' wellbeing first) and make a lasting impact?

In order to answer these questions we need to make an important distinction between being 'nice' and being 'kind'.

Niceness Vs Kindness

Earlier this year I was running an intensive leadership program for a top retailer’s executive team. During the session, the CEO, in encouraging their leaders to lean into the conversations with their staff that would come with the restructuring associated with their new strategic plan, stressed "Clarity is kindness." In other words, to lean into the discomfort and be open and honest is to be kind. 

It got me thinking – in the realm of personal and professional development, what type of leader would you prefer?

Option 1: A leader who's 'nice’, and avoids the conversation, shying away from being open and honest to spare your feelings and avoid potential discomfort? 

Or, Option 2: a leader who’s ‘kind’ and values honesty and transparency in the name of genuine growth and progress, even if it means some challenging conversations? 

It’s probably worth stating the obvious here-  it’s not just a choice as to which hypothetical leader we would prefer to work for but also which one we would like to be. 

It's also a choice that guides us to a deeper understanding of kindness and leadership.

It’s important to note that being kind is different to being nice. While "nice" primarily relates to being pleasant, well-mannered, and using friendly words or gestures, “kindness” goes beyond sometimes surface-level pleasantries; it's about genuine concern for others' wellbeing and the willingness to take tangible actions to help them, all without the expectation of anything in return.

When it comes to providing feedback, being nice might involve vague praise such as "you're doing a great job" without offering specific details or insights. On the other hand, being kind might mean providing constructive feedback like, "Your presentation was well-structured, but there's room for improvement in engaging the audience. Here are some strategies to help..."

It’s often easier to stick to the ‘nice’ approach, because…

“It takes courage to be kind” - Maya Angelou memoirist, poet and activist.

Leadership is not for the faint-hearted; it’s for the big-hearted that lies within each of us. We owe it to ourselves and our teams to be kind and deliver constructive feedback, or what I like to call feed-forward. I explore how we can put this into practice below:

1. Be more attuned: Before engaging in a conversation, take a moment to reflect on your intentions. Ask yourself if you genuinely want what's best for the other person. This self-awareness is the first step in ensuring your communication is rooted in kindness.
2. Be more thoughtful: about the clarity-kindness link. Kindness entails clear, direct communication, as opposed to vagueness or indirectness. Ask yourself: 'Am I being nice or kind?’
3. Be more future-focused: Provide team members with specific and actionable recommendations for their future development, focusing on their strengths and opportunities, to empower continuous growth and improvement. 
4. Be more vulnerable: Create an environment where openness and vulnerability are encouraged. Lead by example, sharing your own experiences and challenges to foster trust and connection within your team.

P.S.  As we gear up for 2024, I'm curating fresh and impactful topics that I believe will breathe new life into your organisation’s learning and development landscape. If you're eager to shape your 2024 L&D strategy, please reach out and let's start a conversation about how these topics can be tailored to uplift your team and propel your organisation to greater heights.

For those planning events, whether you're in the pursuit of a keynote, interviewer, or emcee, I humbly invite you to explore the possibility of securing a slot in my calendar. I’d be honoured to discuss how I can help you elevate your event and make it a truly transformative experience for your audience.