Worrying

Whenever I go in the public transport, I used to observe the faces of people. Most of the time the faces are full of problems and the worrying nature is evident through the faces. They wonder or engage in a deep thought with themselves when they travel.

When I was in my 20s, I used to worry for each and everything in life. It took couple of years to change the way I think without worrying. In fact I was always getting ready for a worst-case scenario by my imagination using ‘what if’ term. I later on learnt that most of my thoughts, emotions and anxiousness caused by my worrying were negative and were invented by my mind. Of course worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace of mind. This realization hit me deeply when I tried to build self-awareness.

So, this month I would like to talk about worrying.

Do you like to stop worrying?

If you are an occasional worrier, then there is no need to concern about your mental stability and well-being. However, if you are a chronic worrier, it can lead to a serious health issue like an anxiety disorder. Insomnia, muscle tension, stomach pain, back pain, panic attacks are related physical symptoms of chronic worrying. I believe it is time to get serious about learning on how to stop worrying in life irrespective of the age. Because nobody enjoys the process of worrying.

Here is what I did initially. I tried to discover the root of my worrying. I checked whether my worry is self-invented one or an issue in the reality.  For example, think of a situation where you start to worry about what other people say about you. This is a self-invented worry. In another scenario, you worry about a dead relative. This worry is related to the reality of life.

Actually, worrying shows how we evolved as humans over the time as our central nervous system is made to respond stress and fear by worrying. Some of your generated feelings can be healthy where they help us to move forward in finding solutions to real world problems.

Finding multiple solutions without getting attached or entangled in thoughts about the issue, problem or challenge is another way to get away from worrying. If you are unable to find a solution, then do not hesitate to get an advice.

Next tip is taking a relaxation break. After 18-20 hours of continuous work in my daily life, I really need such a break to relax myself to calm down and get ready for the next day. Just take some time for your self-care by bringing your attention to the present moment. You can focus on your thoughts, breath or any sensations that you experience at that moment. Let the thoughts flow freely and look at them without a judgment. In fact, mindful meditation has helped me lot in my life create the distance from worrying. It is a kind of tool that will help us to rewire the thinking by helping to break the cycle of worrying.

Over the years I have not become a worry-free person. Yet, I tried to reduce the time of worrying over trivial matters by having a worrying time per week. Most of the time, it is my Sunday night where I worry over the things that I have done for the past week and think about the challenges of the on-coming week. By doing so, the worries are not allowed to spill over the rest of the week by my self-discipline and will power. During this specific time, I worry as much as I like and then forget about it for the rest of the week. Hence, I am trying to train my mind not to dwell on worries at all the time as I need more time for productive thinking as well.

Appreciate the life that you live. We all should take a moment in a day to practice gratitude. Hence, we need to cultivate appreciation in our daily lives with gratitude. In turn, we can feel happier and more optimistic.

After facing three funerals in one year by witnessing the departure of my father, mother and mother-in-law, I started to enjoy every second of my life while having an expanded knowledge about uncertainty.

As an old saying mentions: “Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.”

We come to this world with nothing and try to get everything. But one day we also have to go with nothing when we die. Till that time, we all should try to live a life with minimal worrying.

(This article originally appeared in Probe - May 2024)