A Year of Growth

Today's memo is a collection of notes and reflections—it's more freeform, without a set flow or structure.

The newsletter is approaching its one-year anniversary, and wow, I’ve aged so much in that time—at least mentally. It’s been a relentless pursuit of growth and transformation. Tiring, exhausting, exhilarating—and now, it feels like the pace is finally slowing, especially since moving to Mumbai. I’m coming to terms with myself, more accepting towards who I am. The urge to ‘seek’ has slowed down. Bustling with cafes and crowds, Bandra is where I'm slowly emerging from a long period of social isolation, trying to reconnect with friends and family again.

I’m reminded of why I started writing in the first place. A particular image (below) captured how I felt during my journey from August 2023 to July 2024, a time when I was directionless and lost after making a drastic career change - with no guarantees.

What began as a random experiment—an internet diary—has now turned into a regular writing habit. When I skipped writing last month due to the move and other life changes, I felt like a part of me was missing.

Unlike many things I had to let go of, this newsletter has evolved with me. Initially, I used it to document my meditation experiences during my ashram phase (yep, I spent six months in an ashram). As I shifted towards slow living and more meaningful work, the focus expanded to include yoga and wellness. Eventually, it evolved into discussions around life coaching and personal growth.

Astrology, social media and my failed attempts:

I also learnt astrology in depth; a piece of knowledge very close to my heart. However, I practice it only with a small group of people (the ones who have subscribed to the monthly plan) and have resisted the temptation to commercialise it, despite the success I’ve had through word of mouth, both in one-time consultations and monthly subscription plans.

I’ve also tried social media (and youtube) several times, on and off, before finally accepting that I’ll never be comfortable in front of the camera, especially on a regular basis. Writing has always been my preferred way of communicating. It took a long time to reach this acceptance, but it felt final when I asked an ‘influencer’ friend to purchase my unused Sony EV10 camera and Hollyland mic, officially ending my quest to be a pseudo content creator on social media.

Navigating transitions and restarting (again and again):

One of the reasons I started this newsletter was to build a writing habit that could eventually help me with my first book.

I think that one definitely worked and I began working on a book (finally) but when my co-author backed out, it gave me a chance (and freedom) to reflect on its direction. I realised that much of it no longer resonated with who I am today so I decided to scrap large sections and rewrite it from a fresh perspective. I asked a few authors if they thought my behaviour was concerning. It turns out that many people discard their work frequently—that's just part of the creative process. So, I guess it's normal and we’ll keep moving forward in life.

Fluidity/spontaneity:

They ask me, "How can you change your mind so often?" and I ask, "How can you not?" No two moments are ever the same—so how can you stay the same through them all?

Don’t get me wrong—I may seem inconsistent, but I’m disciplined in my own way. I choose to live moment by moment, without clinging to the past or worrying about the future, which can make it appear like inconsistency.

I allow myself to flow through life without rigidity, letting go of old ideas and thoughts, even if they’re as recent as last night or last minute. I learned this from a truly enlightened being, and I’m confident it’s the path to true freedom for me.

I know this approach would never fly in the corporate world, where 3-6-9 month OKRs rule the day. So, I’ve come to accept my unemployability—and I’m at peace with it. Thankfully, my degree in financial markets (thanks, dad!) has been a saving grace on my path to freedom and well-being.

Missing life in the hills:

It wasn’t until I left the hills that I realised how peaceful life truly was there. Back then, I mistook that kind of peace for boredom because I wasn’t used to it. Now, with more awareness, I’m trying to bring that 'slow living' mindset into my home here in Bandra.

Restarting life across multiple spectrums:

Over the last few years, both my personal and work life went through a whirlwind of change, pushing me to let go of the old and stop resisting the new. Restarting can feel overwhelming, but there’s also a certain hope that comes with a change in place, people and environment. I’m embracing that energy—along with the vibrant Bandra vibes and my love for sunsets by the sea—as I navigate this new chapter.

I also made another drastic lifestyle change and decided to live furniture-free. Now, my new home has just a study table, a mattress, a cupboard, and a bookshelf. Less is liberating. In fact, today was a pivotal day: despite hoarding 500 books and moving them to a new house every year, I managed to part with 50 of them. I am glad that they will be going to new hands soon and someone will experience the joy I once did when I read those books. Basically, I’m striving not to cling to anything, including pieces of information or knowledge.

It’s a significant step forward in my journey toward 'emptying' myself.

A fundamental shift:

A spiritual journey and the ‘quest’ usually start by exploring esoteric and metaphysical knowledge. However, reality and your ultimate moment actually await you beyond the metaphysical and esoteric—within ordinary existence. This cannot be explained, only experienced but I wanted to make a record of this finding. It has changed everything for me.

What else?

My consulting work goes on status quo and currently includes strategy and design for The Yoga Institute. My listed and unlisted companies portfolio is absolutely sky-rocketing thanks to the Indian growth story. That's that for now :)

Signing off.

Thank you for taking the time to read my reflections and updates. As always, I appreciate your support. If you have any thoughts or feedback, I’d love to hear from you. Until next time, may you find joy in your journey and embrace the evolution that comes with each new day.

Regards,

Kalyani