A Powerful Moment

Most people believe that the uncertainty of the future causes anxiety. However, my experiences have shown me that it's not the uncertainty of the future, but rather the uncertainty of oneself—what we want and where we want to be—that creates anxiety. These inner conflicts are the true source of our unease.

Our internal monologue is powerful, but if it fixates on a single possible outcome, it can lead to restlessness, especially if that outcome is undesirable.

Like many others, I am currently experiencing pivotal shifts in my life. With all my projects about 60-70% complete and lacking instant validation, self-doubt often creeps in. I question whether I've taken on too many risks simultaneously or if I'm simply working through a complex puzzle that will only make sense once it's fully assembled.

During these times, I recall a powerful moment from 2022. I had savings and my expenses covered for at least a decade. I wanted to quit tech and make holistic changes in my life but was paralysed by the fear of failure. My coach helped me realise that my fear wasn't about failure itself but about the fear of being abandoned if I failed. My core belief system was that I was alone and that no one is coming to save me, making me risk-averse and fearful.

As a take-home exercise, my coach asked me to call five friends and acquaintances and tell them I had failed drastically and needed financial support of 5 lakhs (INR) without giving much background. The goal was to see how many would agree to help. If at least two out of five agreed, it would prove my belief wrong and encourage me to take a leap of faith. I reluctantly agreed.

I would never ask anyone to do this exercise again because it was incredibly difficult for me to put myself out there. It was awkward (even for the ones I called), and I was terrified of being perceived as a failure, even for a moment (the old me, lol).

I made the calls. Some friends answered immediately; others promised to call back. Surprisingly, four out of five agreed to help instantly. Some even asked for my bank details, while one offered to provide half immediately and arrange the rest in two days. Only one awkwardly declined. 

Afterward, I cried. This breakthrough was a profound release. I had held onto these limiting beliefs for so long, and it took just five phone calls to shatter them.

From that point, I made a promise to myself, which has become my life's purpose (besides having fun, which is right now my true purpose):

"I am a free agent. I can be whoever I want to be and wherever I want to be."

This statement has become my guiding principle, allowing me to explore and experiment with my life freely.

I hope you experience a powerful moment like this in your life and then your life changes for better after the breakthrough.

If you are feeling uncertain about life right now, my advice is to just take the next step. Don’t worry about the ten steps after that. Take the next step, call a friend, reach out to a sibling or parent—whatever it is. Take the next step, then another, and another. Soon, you won't feel so uncertain anymore.

When we live only for today, life cannot be uncertain.

Speaking of today and this month, I've explored a range of topics and here is a quick recap.

1. Living Without a Phone  

I began with a thought experiment on living without a phone. You can read about my reflections and the surprising insights I gained [here].

2. Boredom vs. Suffering  

Next, I explore the concept of boredom versus suffering, discussing how these states might be more of a choice than we realise. Check out [here].

3. World of AI: A Personal Memo! 

I shared a personal note on my ongoing wellness journey. It's a work in progress, but documenting it has been both challenging and rewarding. Read more about my experiences [here].

4. Money and Meditation  

I explored the correlation between money and the concept of peace, examining how financial stability can impact mental freedom. You can find my insights [here].

5. Candid Conversation with Tarun  

Lastly, I did a video interview where I discussed my past and present projects, thoughts on spirituality, and more. Check the interview by clicking below!

Additionally, I'm exploring the idea of crafting a private one-on-one retreat plan and would love your input on it. Read more and share your thoughts

I hope you enjoy reading these memos as much as I enjoy writing them. Please send your notes, feedback, or simply drop in with a "hi" whenever you feel the urge.

Until next time,  

K