Yin and Tonic: Leading with Empathy

Being a sales leader is not for the faint of heart. It's a roller coaster ride that's equal parts exhilarating and exasperating. One minute we're on our way up; we reach the top and then accelerate into a free-fall. We often feel we are only as good as our last deal. It doesn't have to be a bravado-fueled and ego-driven posturing. If you're trapped in that mindset, you're missing out on a whole new world of leadership potential. Yes, you need assertiveness and ambition. Those are non-negotiable. But there's another dimension to this leadership gig, and it's as essential as your Monday morning caffeine fix.

"The valley spirit never dies;

It is the mysterious female.

The gateway of the mysterious female

Is the base from which heaven and earth sprang.

It is there within us all the while;

Draw upon it as you will; it never runs dry."

• Lao Tzu

Now, I know what you're thinking: "What's this 'valley spirit'? Are we going hiking or leading a sales team?" Bear with me here. This isn't some mystical mountain-top meditation retreat we're talking about (you don't have threaten me with a good time). This is about tapping into a well of power that's been sitting in you all along – the yin energy, or as Lao Tzu likes to call it, the mysterious female.

Why's it called "mysterious"? Well, because it's not the obvious go-to for most leaders. It's not about being the loudest in the room, the alpha of the pack, or the one with the most espresso in their system. It's the quiet, unassuming force that underlies all existence, the source from which heaven and earth spring, and probably why your dog seems to respect your spouse more than you.

The yin energy is all about listening, nurturing, collaborating, accepting, and taking care of yourself. I know it sounds like something your favorite aunt would advise over a cup of chamomile tea, but hear me out.

Listening: it's not just for therapists and bartenders anymore. It's about tuning in to your team, not just to their words, but to their thoughts, concerns, and ideas. And if you're lucky, to the subtle hints about the office gossip. After all, who doesn't want to know who stole the last donut from the breakroom?

Nurturing: no, you're not being asked to hand out cookies and milk (though that wouldn't hurt). It's about creating an environment where your team feels valued, where they're not just cogs in the machine but parts of a well-oiled sales beast. This isn't about coddling – it's about pushing your team to be their best but also catching them when they stumble. Think of yourself as a trampoline: they jump, and you bounce them back, ideally to greater heights, and not into a wall.

Collaboration: this is about more than just group projects organized in Monday or even more color-coded spreadsheets. It's about realizing that each team member brings something unique to the table. Yes, even Kevin from Finance, who couldn't seem to figure out the office Nespresso machine back when we all were in the office.

Acceptance and patience: deals fall through, targets are missed, and sometimes, your printer's paper feeder seems to have a personal vendetta against you. The yin approach teaches us to take a deep breath, channel our inner Zen master, and accept that setbacks are part of the journey. And that printers are just inherently evil.

Self-care: you've heard it before, and I'll say it again: you can't pour from an empty cup. And I don't just mean your coffee cup, which you should definitely refill (just don't let Kevin do it). Take time to rest, recharge, and do something you enjoy. Just please, for the love of all that's holy, don't bring your electro-theremin and start playing "the macarena" at the office.

In the real world, some leaders embraced this yin energy and used it to their advantage. Look at Mary Barra at General Motors and Arianna Huffington of The Huffington Post. Barra's known for her collaborative approach and open-door policy, fostering an environment where everyone feels heard. She's also committed to her team's growth, pushing for a culture of accountability and transparency.

On the other hand, Huffington has embodied the principles of yin in revolutionizing the media industry and establishing her latest venture, Thrive Global, which focuses on well-being and performance. Huffington champions the yin principle of collaboration, valuing the power of collective effort over individual success. She credits the success of her ventures to her team's efforts, emphasizing that everyone brings something unique to the table.

And let's remember her response to adversity. When 36 publishers rejected her second book, she didn't let that define her. Instead, she patiently pursued her calling, ultimately becoming a celebrated author and entrepreneur. That's some yin-style severe acceptance and flow.

Perhaps most notably, Huffington embodies the yin approach to self-care. After collapsing from exhaustion in 2007, she became a vocal advocate for work-life balance and self-care. She emphasizes that taking care of oneself is crucial for personal health and a cornerstone of professional success and effective leadership.

There you have it. Mary Barra and Arianna Huffington are two powerhouses who've harnessed the strength of yin energy to lead their teams and shape their industries. They've shown that incorporating the principles of yin in leadership isn't just beneficial—it's a game-changer.

Incorporating yin energy into your leadership might feel like trying to fit into your high school jeans – uncomfortable and a bit embarrassing. But with time and practice, it becomes second nature. You start listening more, nurturing more, collaborating more, and the next thing you know, you're not just hitting targets; you're creating a team that's motivated, engaged, and ready to take on the world. And maybe even Kevin has finally figured out the Nespresso machine.

So, let's dive in, shall we? Let's tap into that mysterious female, unleash the valley spirit, and elevate your sales leadership. And remember, as Lao Tzu said, "A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves." And yes, that includes Kevin.