“If you don’t change what you’re doing, you’re going to fail.”

“If you don’t change what you’re doing, you’re going to fail.”

That’s unusual (and harsh) advice to give a prospective client who hadn’t asked my opinion. It was also true. She needed help. She needed coaching. 

I was there to sell her a coaching system for her company, but found myself coaching her instead.

Amelia was a 35-year-old HR Director serving as a screening agent for a company on the hunt for a formalized performance management system that went beyond the old check-boxes and perfunctory management monologues. Her CEO thought he might have found that in Catalytic Coaching and wanted to confirm with her that it would work for his 200 employees. 

Over lunch, Amelia excitedly told me about her hard-won battle to become the company’s first HR Director. This manufacturing company was going through accelerated growth, but their employee focused systems were better suited for a company a quarter their size. 

Unfortunately, in the eight months since Amelia won that battle for the new position, the war wasn’t going so well. Her former role as Senior Account Executive was still vacant, which meant she was still serving as stand-in. Worse yet, a recent tidal wave of turnover had swept away two more of her experienced staff. That left her spending all her time recruiting replacements and personally filling the voids. It was taking forever to find new hires, yet she could only complain to herself. She was now HR! 

Bottom line, over the last several months, the situation left Amelia working six or seven ten-hour days a week getting further behind every day. With two children under ten and a husband who had his own career challenges, the picture looked bleak.

With a look of concern, I asked “How long can you keep up this current pace?”

On the verge of tears, Amelia replied with four carefully chosen words, “Not very much longer.”

She was desperately counting on an upcoming vacation to give her a chance to re-energize. With that day fast approaching, however, things were looking dicey. Customers were demanding shortened deadlines while production had forecast unavoidable delays. The stress wouldn’t let her sleep, even when she had the time to rest. 

It was clear that this “sales” visit was becoming anything but, so I switched gears. She perked up when I asked to hear more about plans she had in her new role as HR Director. With her smile returned, Amelia told me about coveting the role for years. Finally, she had convinced the company owner that the position was sorely needed and she was the perfect one to fill it.

I was curious about where the drive for this career path came from, so I asked “How much background do you have in Human Resources? Schooling or education?” Her answer shook me.

“None,” she said confidently, as if her lack of experience added strength to the victory.

“Certifications? Work experience?”

“Nope.”

“Reading???”

“I’ve been meaning to do at least that.”

So this became my Rubicon. To cross, or not to cross. To coach or sell. That is the question.

Seeing the need to forgo the focus on selling, I quickly forded the path to coaching. 

“Amelia, what will the other side of vacation look like? You’ll be back to the same unsustainable routine. What happens when you continue juggling up to four jobs?”

In a flash, the smile once again disappeared. Amelia repeated that her strategy was to work hard and hope the recruiting challenges didn’t last that long. The same course she’d now held for eight months.

“Any promising job candidates?” I asked.

“Not really. No. We had an excellent candidate last month who actually accepted one of my open posts, but she informed us that she was staying with her current employer. They made her a nice counter-offer.”

“What happens when the retention and recruiting challenges continue or get worse?”

“I’ll fail,” Amelia confessed, “ either here or at home. I’ll implode. If they don’t fire me at the company, my husband will insist that I quit.” Knowing she was damaging her health and well-being, what else could any conscientious boss or loved one do? 

I recognized her conundrum. “Like many hard chargers, Amelia, you are cursed with the ability to do almost anything reasonably well. However, being able to do ANYTHING is not the same thing as being able to do EVERYTHING. You’ve positioned yourself with an EVERYTHING job and that’s a path to failure.”

With Amelia nodding, I continued, “Frankly, for a company director it’s really not about what you can do individually. It’s about what you can get other people to do under your direction.” Her smile returned as this clicked for her. Now we had to figure out a plan forward that would dig her out of the hole she was in while also strengthening the organization.

“If the organization were to hire a seasoned HR Director from the outside, how would they approach the job differently than you?”

Amelia chewed on that for a few moments. “A real HR Director would not enter here saddled with all the baggage I’ve brought with me from the other departments. They’d have a clearly defined job that doesn’t include key account management and marketing. They’d have a clean slate and a job scope that is achievable! Their success would be enhanced by how we set them up.”

Nodding, I confirmed her instincts. “I think you are on to something, Amelia. You have set yourself up for failure. Now, what are you going to do differently going forward?”

“I’m going to insist that we find someone to immediately take responsibility for key accounts. I’m going to stop functioning as the marketing manager. I’ll find a contractor, if I have to, but I am on countdown to kickoff with those duties.”

“What else?”

“I’m going to enroll in the best Human Resource executive-level training that I can find. I’m going to focus on creating the plan I’ve been dreaming about and use that as justification for making these aggressive moves.”

“You know, it’s possible to fail with this bold approach. You get that, right?”

“Yes, I do. But I’d far rather fail taking action than fail continuing to hope for things to get better.”

“That sounds like something a company director would say.”

“I think so, too!” with a smile bigger than ever. “Hey, I’ve got to get back to the office and start working on this plan but let’s get something on the calendar for Catalytic Coaching. If it’s even close to what you just did for me, I want to learn to share it with others. That seems like something a good HR Director would do.”

“Amelia, I couldn’t agree with you more.”

Have you ever dug yourself into a hole you thought you wanted to be in?

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Garold (Gary) Markle is the creator of Catalytic Coaching and author of Catalytic Coaching: The End of the Performance Review. He brings real world experience from 17 years of HR leadership in major corporations coupled with over 20 years of teaching small and mid-sized organizations how to cultivate their leadership, retain employees, develop their talent, and increase profitability through teambuilding and a proven coaching process.