Are you really interested?

If you want to be interesting, be interested – David Ogilvy

I worked in Ogilvy and Mather in the early years of my career and was inspired positively by David Ogilvy and his views. Even after so many years, the quote above never fails to inspire me. Being interested in others seems commonsensical, but it's a pity that people don't use it frequently.

I have had conversations where people have other things on their minds and are just not present in the moment. I am guilty of doing that myself on occasions, and it has made me mindful of not doing it. The essence of coaching or any other relationship-building tool is "being interested "and be "present." 

I met a friend over dinner recently, and we were chatting about our lives over the past few years, and it has evolved. Over this period, one thing led to another, and she introduced me to some people with whom I could connect and exchange views. There was no agenda, just a genuine interest in me as a person, my life, and my aspirations and just helping to expand my horizons.

And how did it help me?

It made me think beyond my current sphere of knowledge, try some things that I never knew existed, and was pleasantly surprised by how little our experience can be if we do not interact with others in an interested manner. I have tried several things in my work and personal life because of my interest in others or others showing interest in me.

As an HR professional, this is definitely a plus point and, but it's also true for everyone else for their professional and personal life. On the flip side, I keep getting so many ideas from different people that sometimes I feel overwhelmed (I must admit that I enjoy variety, and when I am overwhelmed, I do get a thrill out of it).

Based on my experience, some of the things that can help in being interested are really simple:

• Keeping away mobile and other distracting devices while conversing
• Try not to think of other things while having a conversation with someone.
• Maintaining eye contact with the person, we are having a conversation with
• Rephrasing or using the words used by the person to create "connectedness"

I have been guilty of looking at my phone and emails while in meetings, but it's a complete no-no in a one-on-one situation. It's not respectful and does end up damaging the fragile social connection that we have with others.

So, I would still say the Ogilvyism on being interesting helped me be aware of my way of engaging others and redirecting my energies to be interested in people. And hopefully, it has made me more interesting for others.