Are You a Spouse or a Partner, and is There a Difference Between the Two?

Have you noticed that many married couples are referring to their spouse as a “partner” and their marriage a “partnership”? 

Not too long ago I had the opportunity to converse with friends and, during our conversation, one of them mentioned that their spouse complained that my friend was not being a “partner in the relationship” and that a divorce filing would likely be forthcoming. I was saddened by the news. Family relationships are truly under spiritual attack and tremendous strain. 

As I reflected on the conversation with my friends, I couldn’t help but ask these questions:

1. Why are some spouses viewing their marriage as partnerships?

2. Is marriage and partnership the same?

3. Is it offensive to God to view marriage as a partnership?

The desire to follow worldly standards is nothing new. In 1 Samuel 8 the children of Israel told the prophet Samuel that they wanted a king like the other nations. This may appear innocent at first glance, but the problem is that Samuel was not their leader: God was. By asking for a human king, the people were rejecting the wisdom of the Omnipotent One. See verse 7. Referring to your marriage as a partnership may also be rejecting God because He was the one who instituted marriage, not humanity.

What is a Partnership?

Merriam-Webster describes Partnership as “A legal relationship existing between two or more persons contractually associated as principals in a business.” Wikipedia defines it as “an arrangement where parties, known as business partners, agree to cooperate to advance mutual interests.” A formal arrangement by two or more parties to manage and operate a business and share in its profits and debts.

What is a Marriage?

For this answer, we needn’t look to the definitions instituted by the courts of men or earthly jurisprudence. We must look for the definition from the One who created marriage. In Genesis 2: 21 – 24 we find the following account:

“And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; (22) And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. (23) And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. (24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” 

The Bible is clear that marriage was instituted by God according to His perfect design.  Eve was created from Adam’s bone marrow and that makes humanity one creation. A married couple stands as one and united before God. Partnerships has no such foundation. 

A Comparison Between Partnership and Marriage  

• Partnership: (1) Formation - Partnerships are formed by written agreement and is designed to make a profit.
• Marriage: (1) Formation - Joined by Covenant with God and each other. It is forged in love and commitment, and the man and woman are seen as a complete union before God. Marriage demonstrates the the relationship God has with His children and shows His act of creation when children are born into the marriage. The profit or gain includes reflecting the image and character of God. The business end is to be about God’s business of spreading the gospel in and by the way we live.
• Partnership: (2) Titles - Members are called Partners.
• Marriage: (2) Titles - Members consists of one man (Husband) and one woman (Wife).
• Partnership: (3) Ownership Interest - Partners own percentages of an enterprise and therefore own things within the partnership. The partnership itself can hold things and the partners own percentages of the enterprise.  
• Marriage: (3) Ownership Interest - In a marriage, the husband and wife each own one hundred percent (100%) of everything in the marriage. The husband and wife give all that they have to each other (bone of my bone; flesh of my flesh), and that is an example of expressing the character of God and what He gave to us i.e., He gave His all for us.  
• Partnership: (4) Membership - Two or more people. Partnerships are not limited to two persons, and can be two people of the same gender.  
• Marriage: (4) Membership - Marriage has one man and one woman, both of whom are committed to God. 
• Partnership: (5) Expansion - Partnerships allows the possibility of adding and removing partners. The number of partners can increase or decrease.
• Marriage: (5) Expansion - God did not grant a blanket rule for us to marry multiple people at the same time while the other spouses are alive. 
• Partnership: (6) Resources - Each partner gives a percentage of their resource and time – No partner will give 100% of their own resources while others give less than 100%. That arrange is fraught with disaster. Each provides less than 100% of their time and/or resources.
• Marriage: (6) Resources - Marriage embodies working together in unison and 100% from each person is expected. There is no such thing as each person bringing 50% into a God-centered marriage. If all you giving is half of 100% in your marriage, then where are you investing your other 50%? 
• Partnership: (7) Dissolution - There are laws that govern the dissolution of a partnership. A partnership can dissolve if partners withdraw, die, or becomes unable to carry out their duties as a partner as outlined in the partnership agreement. Essentially, partnerships can be dissolved and partners can leave the partnership almost anytime. It lasts as long as the partnership is profitable.
• Marriage: (7) Dissolution - Death was the only Biblical reason that dissolved a marriage. Regarding divorce Jesus said that from the beginning divorce was not meant to be an option. However, because the people’s heart was hardened – they did not have a heart of flesh – Moses allowed them to divorce. (See Matthew 19:8.) Notice that Jesus is also saying that God did not institute divorce. Divorce is a breaking of a covenant with God and humanity i.e., your spouse. Marriage is for life as long as both persons are alive. It is not based on financial gain. It endures during profitable and non-profitable years.

As you can see, when a person views marriage simply as a partnership and not as a covenant with God and another human being of the opposite gender, then the marriage can be easily devalued. That devaluation is dishonor to God. There is, therefore, no wonder that people enter into the marriage covenant so flippantly and end them with greater ease and less consideration of the impact on the reflection of God’s character. Perhaps those people prepared for a wedding day but did not plan for a lifelong marriage. Of course, a wedding day and marriage are two different things. Marriage is a reflection of God’s commitment to those who love him; He’s the husband and we the bride. (See 2 Corinthians 11:2.) Certainly, marriage includes togetherness, love, respect, safety, security, tenderheartedness, joy, truth, care, and much more. If marriage is relegated to a partnership it can be entered into without thought of the sacredness of the agreement made on Earth and certified in Heaven. Some Christians have accepted the partnership concept for marriage but it can be to their spiritual detriment. It would be better not to get married than to enter into marriage without understanding what God requires of you. When marriage isn’t valued the way in which God intended then the marriage covenant is lightly esteemed and people go into it easily and, by extension, easily break the covenant.

As Christians, our first duty is to God, not to ourselves. Our second duty is to others. Upon these principles are the Ten Commandments hung. Marriage embodies these principles: Love for God and love for the other person. A partnership does not have these holy tenets.

God cannot be pleased when marriage is practiced and experienced as a partnership in the way in which society and some Christians do today. In contrast, when marriage demonstrates the character of God, then both the husband and wife will seek to please God first then the other person. That union will be a bond that cannot be broken. Just imagine the joy, love, and safety each couple feels knowing that their spouse is doing their all to please God and each other. That is holy matrimony! May the God who created marriage bless your marriage and prepare you for His wedding feast. For those who are contemplating marriage, may the Holy Spirit fill your mind to accept His wisdom in selecting a partner – just kidding, we mean selecting a spouse.

So, what is your takeaway? Do you think of your marriage as a partnership? Should your marriage be treated as a partnership?

Thanks for reading.

Be Godly. Be Free.