You Won’t Be Friends with Everyone

A friend of everyone is a friend of no one.

I have a confession to make. I used to define myself by how many friends I had. I would count my friends. I felt the more “friends” I had meant more status and self-value.

I used friendships to define my identity and confidence. The more people liked me and wanted to be my friend, the more perceived ‘value’ I had.

I saw people like a number to add to my growing friend list. I expected them to do certain things and when they didn’t do that, I would begin to question our friendship.

When I would go to social events, I expected to make friends there. In fact, I had high expectations for my friends.

However, I only made acquaintances.

The truth is I looked to people for validation. I thought the more people liked me meant the more friends I had which increased my self-worth.

However, I have come to realize that mindset was toxic and unhealthy.

Your self-worth and identity are not defined by how popular you are or how many friends you have. Your value as a human being is not defined by other people at all. Period.

The hard truth is that most people you meet will not be your friends. They will probably be your acquaintances, only a small proportion will actually put in the effort to become your friend.

You will not connect with everyone you meet. People have unique personalities, interests, hobbies, beliefs, and values. Sometimes those will align with yours and other times it won’t.

However, that doesn’t mean you won’t make friends. You will meet many people and some will become great friends with you.

Friendships take energy and effort over a consistent time. It needs to be reciprocal, like a two-way street.

You won’t connect with everyone. Not everyone wants to be friends with you or reciprocate and that’s okay. The world has over 7 billion people who all have unique personalities and interests. There are bound to be people you will connect with. Your tribe is out there!

You will never find someone who is exactly like you in everything, but you will find people who share similar interests and hobbies as you.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you …. Most People Will Come and Go in Your Life

This is also a hard pill to swallow.

I’ve always had the idea of “best friends forever”. I thought that when I made a new iend, we would be friends for a very long time, almost like a ride or die person. The harsh truth is that most friendships and relationships will end.

However, I am realizing that there is no point in being a ride-or-die friend. Life happens. Things change. You change. They change. People drift apart from each other and this undeserved loyalty I was giving to my friends was not reciprocated.

I would get upset if people ghosted me or didn’t invite me to hang out with them. It felt like a personal attack on my identity.

When people walked out of my life, when I cut toxic people out and I lost friends, it was hard to let go. It felt like breaking up with a friend.

However, it’s not all bad.

Hopefully, you will find new friends. If not, that is okay as well. It’s okay to be by yourself. You don’t need to rush to find another friend or get into a relationship.

Learn to let go of people that are no longer serving you or making you better. It’s better to be alone than with toxic people that drag you down.

Do you want to add a word or two?

Life Is Not Fair

Everyone is born with different strengths and weaknesses. We all come from different backgrounds, races, socioeconomic statuses, personalities, and interests. Some people have more privileges than others. You are your own unique person.

I used to think that we are all equal, that the background, religion, race, or gender that we are born into do not affect our lives at all.

However, that is very wrong. Unfortunately, society is not equal. Racism still exists. Sexism still exists. Poverty still exists. Our world still has problems.

While we are all born with different ‘cards’ like gender, race, personality, and interests, it’s more about how we play those ‘cards.

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We can use our perceived weaknesses as motivation or stressors. We can use our race to unite others who feel similarly. We work on improving our interests or suppressing them.

How you perceive your life is everything.

You Cannot Control Everything

I am a self-confessed control freak, a bit of a type-A personality, and a bit perfectionistic.

I like to control almost all aspects of my life. I like to know what is coming ahead in the future. I have a deathly fear of the unknown and uncertainty.

That is why I love to plan out my life.

However, when I was a kid, what I imagined adulthood to be like is VERY different from the reality of adulthood.

I thought I would have my life figured out by now.

I thought I would be on track with my career making a decent amount of money.

I thought I would have moved out or been traveling the world.

But nope, none of that has gone according to plan.

I am a different person every single year and I thought I would control who I was becoming and what my interests were.

The truth is you can’t. You can’t control how you will change.

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