Your Leadership Matters: My Address to NYU Stern’s MBA and PhD Class of 2023

This commencement address was delivered to New York University Leonard N. Stern School of Business’ MBA and PhD graduating class on May 19, 2023.

Thank you, Dean Sundaram, for your generous introduction. I appreciate your leadership and friendship. Thank you to the Stern Executive Board. And most of all, congratulations to all of the Stern graduates and your families and friends. This is a wonderful moment in life to celebrate together.

I have to start with a confession: I was reluctant to go to business school and, as it turns out, business schools were reluctant to have me. I was rejected from every full-time business school I applied to. And then, as she so often did, my mom—who is here today—jumped in. It wasn’t lost on her that I was working at AT&T as an assistant account executive earning about $14,000 a year and my career didn’t seem to be going anywhere. As I recall—and she reminds me—my first paycheck was $204. If it wasn’t for her constant pressure, I would never have even applied to Stern.

It wasn’t easy commuting two and a half hours a day to work in New Jersey, and then going to business school in Manhattan. Remote learning didn’t exist. I’d finish my workday, get on the Path Train to make it to the World Trade Center in time for evening classes—and then return back home to New Jersey. It was fully exhausting. My primary accomplishment was that I managed to stay awake, and frankly, I was relieved to graduate.

The truth is that I knew that my career was going nowhere, and that I needed something besides my mom’s disapproving look to get me into gear. Stern gave me the perspective, the frameworks, and the tools to enable me to take that next step forward, and then the next steps after that.

I’m proud of my Stern MBA. It’s a symbol for me of a formative time. My years at Stern and AT&T were the first time in my life that I worked at full capacity and used every ounce of my energy to achieve my goals.

I came away from my experience at Stern, knowing that if I was going to succeed, I would need to work harder than everyone else because it was clear to me, I wasn’t even close to being the smartest person in the room. To this day I still believe that hard work and long hours are one of the keys to success. I’ve never discovered a short cut.

So, let me share a few thoughts about leadership.

Many of you in this room are future CEOs. Some of you know you are going to be CEOs and you probably won’t be. Some of you don’t think you have what it takes to be a CEO and you are the ones more likely to become a CEO. Because being a leader requires humility. It demands that you are always learning and listening, versus being a know-it-all. Because in today’s world knowing it all is impossible. Remember, if you are the smartest person in the room, you are just in the wrong room.

I’ve always felt that the best description of a great leader is someone who can “define reality and inspire hope.” This is true for leading oneself in pursuit of personal goals and it’s especially true about leading others. Because if you don’t see the world and the circumstances you face clearly and accurately, you cannot define the path ahead for yourself or others. And if you cannot inspire hope—and optimism about the future—then others will not be inspired to follow you as you take on challenges and lead the way forward. So always remember to clearly define reality—even when it’s difficult—but also create a mission and vision that inspires hope.

I firmly believe that leadership matters. It matters to your team and to every person in your organization or community. Great leaders have an impact on people that resonates well beyond their immediate actions.

Your leadership will be noticed—both in the big initiatives you take on and in the small ways you demonstrate your values and your humanity. Good leaders live their values every day – they genuinely care about their colleagues and their stakeholders, and they demonstrate respect and their own humanity in each interaction. As a leader, you have the opportunity to change lives. Sometimes it’s the small things that matter most day over day. The way you say hello to everyone, make eye contact, stop to compliment a colleague, or return every email personally. Your every interaction must demonstrate that every person matters - and that every person deserves respect.

I’m getting more than a few questions about legacy this year as I prepare to step down as the CEO of PayPal after nine years. And I get it—people are curious. But honestly, it’s a bit late in the game. Legacies are built throughout an entire career, not as a capstone at particular junctures. For all of us, it’s important to be aware throughout one’s career about the legacy we’d like to achieve. Would you want it to be “I made a lot of money”? or “I created shareholder value”? Well, perhaps. But that’s not what I want on my tombstone. I prefer to think about it more holistically: Did you lift others along the way? Did you make other lives better? Did you make a difference for your team, your company, your communities, your nation, and maybe even the world? Did you have the courage to stand up for your values even when it was hard to do so. How did you react in difficult times? You have to keep asking the question: what do you want to be remembered for?

Let’s look forward a bit now—not just because it’s a graduation—but because it’s vital and it’s fascinating—and we have a lot to think about.

I thought the world was changing fast during my career, but we are now surfing waves of technological advances that are just extraordinary and create enormous opportunity and challenge. We are truly living in a Gutenberg moment.

You are the generation of leaders that will figure out how to deploy generative and quite likely, general artificial intelligence, so that it unlocks productivity and creativity and contributes to the progress of humanity, while hopefully protecting us from its dark side.

And while AI is where everyone is focused now—there are other technologies that will change our world, from quantum computing to virtual and augmented reality, robotics, and bio-tech, all of which have the capacity to change our lives in ways we can likely not even imagine. The world in front of us will involve choices that are inevitably going to entail risk. Predicting the future is going to be close to impossible. But that can’t paralyze our ability to do the serious thinking and hard work necessary to make informed decisions.

I do a lot of different martial arts— but I focus on Krav Maga. It’s great exercise, useful in case of the apocalypse, and it keeps me focused and humbled – having opponents try to hurt you every morning before work will do that. 

I’ve drawn from Krav in my approach to business. There is a saying in Krav that standing still is asking to be hit. This is also true in business. Change and forward motion has to be a way of life. And the reality is that you have more control over this than you realize. You can rarely change the world around you—but you can control how you react to it. Remember, calm is contagious.

Despite the reality of perpetual change in society, in technology and in geo-politics, I believe that some things will always be true when it comes to leadership:

1. You’ll never go wrong if you put people first: Never say “I”, unless it is to accept blame or failure. Always say “we” when celebrating successes. Always give credit, and always stand up to take blame. If you mess up, fess up.
2. Trust matters, and you can only build trust over time and through a consistent set of ethical behaviors. Trust is the foundation of all relationships, personal and professional.
3. Your values should ground you and guide you. But you can’t just talk about them, you need to live them. Be prepared to act on your values. As my dad used to say to me, you are what you do, not what you say.
4. Remember that we are born with two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionally. Seek out opinions and perspective other than your own and listen more than you talk. Being wise means having more questions than answers. And in general, say less than is necessary.
5. Humility and modesty make all the difference. Without them, I promise you will not succeed in the long term.
6. And finally, I fundamentally believe that business leaders have a moral obligation to shape the business world as a force for good. But that takes real courage, long-term thinking and believing in yourself. It may provoke extreme reactions. I’ve received multiple death threats for standing up against forms of discrimination.

I want to conclude by saying a few words about capitalism and change. Because, after all, this is a business school graduation—and each of us has elected to seek leadership in the capitalist system we exist in today. 

There is no doubt that capitalism needs an upgrade. I’ve read Stern’s values—so I know you see it. Change will come when we draw on the best of our capitalist system—which has continually created productivity, innovation and economic growth—to create greater equality and inclusion in our economy. Without this, our democracy stands on a weak foundation.

Some people have labeled me an activist CEO. But I believe—respectfully—that I am simply working to be a responsible CEO and citizen of our world (As a Stern graduate, perhaps I should say “radically responsible”).

Democracy only works when people can see beyond their own self-interest and act in the interests of others. That is difficult to accomplish in an economy where so many are struggling and feel left behind. As leaders, we have a responsibility, maybe even a moral imperative, to address this and to work to open up opportunities, address inequities, and give everyone a legitimate opportunity to live the American dream. This is a fundamental linchpin to the wellbeing of our economy and our democracy.

Graduations are a time of hope—and also a time to take stock as you enter the next chapter of your career; a time to think about the values you care about, the contribution you want to make, and the legacy you want to build. 

I have no doubt that most of you will take what you have learned at Stern and go on to successful careers. My hope is you will also look deep inside yourselves and draw on your knowledge and values to shape a world that creates opportunities for all. Remember to never, ever give up along the way, because almost all good things happen slowly. But I have no doubt that the work you do to make a difference for others will inspire all of us.  

Thanks—and make us proud.