The Survivor’s Mindset: My Never Stand Still Conversation with Ibram X. Kendi

The murder of George Floyd in 2020 sent shockwaves through our culture. The incident, recorded and broadcast across the world, forced us to confront the long legacy of racial injustice and its impact on our society.

We experienced this in a profound way at PayPal. In conversations with my colleagues, I witnessed an outpouring of anger, despair, and frustration about Floyd’s death and the many forces that led to it. But I also saw determination. My colleagues weren’t content with the state of the world. They wanted to change it.

Amid this racial reckoning came a surge in popularity for Ibram X. Kendi’s “How to Be an Antiracist,” an eye-opening, revolutionary book that laid out a framework for interrogating and addressing systemic racism. For many of us, the book offered a much-needed guide for how to think about, approach, and have tough conversations about racism and inequity.

On the latest episode of my Never Stand Still podcast, I was honored to speak with Ibram about his book, its message, and its impact. We also spoke about his experience as a cancer survivor and how it informs his approach to overcoming adversity. This was an important conversation, and I hope you found it as inspiring as I did.

Anti-racism is a journey

Goal setting is a key component of being an effective leader. For every leader, from mid-level corporate managers to local politicians, success comes from envisioning the outcomes they want and putting in place the systems, processes, and people to make those outcomes real.  

As it turns out, this is a useful model for how we can approach race, Ibram argues. “In the past, too often people would just say ‘we’re committed’ to something without creating the mechanism in which that commitment could be actualized and assessed,” he told me.

Essentially, Ibram is advocating for a results-focused approach to addressing systemic racism. I couldn’t agree more with this idea, and it’s helped us make an impact right here at PayPal. In 2020, we made a $535 million commitment to racial equity, and over the past two years, this commitment has continued to grow and expand. As important as it is for us to self-reflect, and for leaders to publicly commit to addressing racial inequity, commitment isn’t enough. Action and accountability are just as important.

“We need to be victim-and-outcome-focused,” Ibram told me. “I'm more so focused on not what anyone is doing or intending to do, but ultimately the results of the policy changes or the practices.”

Through crisis comes change

It’s true that our most challenging moments offer the most significant opportunities for growth and learning. The past two years have offered no shortage of both. Long periods of quarantine have given many of us opportunities to reevaluate our lives. Some of us are pursuing new passions or interests, moving to different cities, and even exploring new careers.  

Ibram believes that this relationship between crisis and change also holds true for society as a whole. “I don't think we realize, or maybe didn't realize until the pandemic, about how moments of societal crisis can also lead to personal reflection about society,” he told me. “And I think it didn't just happen obviously around racial issues. It's happening around climate justice, it's happening around economic inequality, and all sorts of other issues.”

Ibram, however, doesn’t want us to take the wrong lessons from our current moment: “But what this says to me is…I don't think that as individuals and as societies, we should wait for moments of crisis to self-reflect.”

Failure is a mindset, and so is survival

While my guests are all operating at the top of their game, I’m just as fascinated by their stories of hardship as I am by their moments of victory. Often, it’s the former that have the most to teach us.

For Ibram, one of life’s most significant challenges came in the form of stage-four colorectal cancer. “How I dealt with that adversity and most adversities is trying to remain laser focused on how to overcome it and move past it or, in the case of cancer, survive it,” he told me.

This approach to adversity – addressing the challenges head-on – was critical to Ibram managing the often soul-crushing process of getting his first book published. Despite the “dozens and dozens” of rejections he received, Ibram never fell into the trap of questioning his ideas, doubting his writing skills, or surrendering to his illness.

“Of course, those ideas emerged, but I try not to let them stick. Because when they stick, they stopped me ultimately from pushing past the adversity,” he told me.

Ibram’s mindset reminds me why it’s so important to be a realistic optimist. Life can be really hard sometimes. Optimism in these situations is critical, since it helps you remember that good things can happen.

My conversation with Ibram was timely and thought-provoking, and I hope you learn as much from it as I did. Listen to our full conversation below and leave a comment with your top takeaways.