Workplace Bullying Project’s Post

yes this is exactly what they do. And management and hr allow this behavior. Because they are confusing toxic leadership traits with strong leadership traits.there is a Huge difference.Good leaders foster a positive, productive environment through vision, communication, empathy, accountability, and adaptability. Bad leaders/Toxic leadership, often create confusion, low morale, and a lack of trust by being directionless, dismissive, self-centered, unaccountable, we need to state unaccountable twice! And resistant to change.but often they won't appear that they are resistant to change but place the blame on the team members they want out.

🧅 Do you have an emotional onion to peel? 🧅 What came up in a client session this morning was her need to rescue people. Whatever issues are presenting in your life now are usually with us from the past, the body has stuck and unprocessed emotions. There is a way to bring them to the surface and let them go. The processes I use get to the root causes quickly and we release them quickly and effectively The first emotion to come up in todays onion peeling was the feeling of being scared. We dealt with that, then came sadness - it was quickly overtaken by doubt. After doubt came guilt, so visceral a feeling that it got stuck in her throat. Then the anger came… A lot to release in one session and we did it to make a massive shift in her beliefs and unconscious minds operating system. She ended the session by saying “Ha! I don’t need to rescue my boss when they mess up!” That’s right. You are only responsible for you. Others are responsible for themselves Do you have issues today that you haven’t found a way to deal with them or change? While I specialise in workplace bullying, root cause processes can work in all aspects your life including career change, personal or business relationships and more It’s powerful. 1 session can change a lot. I’ve had some clients release 16 limiting beliefs in one session. Many see the impact and want more sessions. My own life has been transformed. A recent comment from a client - “Your talent for identifying the root problem within 15 mins of a conversation is incredible!” Want to know the root cause of an issue you have and let it go? Let’s peel an onion together…DM me

🌟 Why We Get Addicted to Toxic People and How to Identify Toxicity 🌟 Ever wondered why some people find themselves repeatedly drawn to toxic relationships? Here’s a quick overview into the psychology behind it and tips on identifying toxicity, whether you’re perpetuating it or on the receiving end. Why We Get Addicted to Toxic People Attachment Styles: Upbringing in conflict-ridden homes makes toxic relationships feel familiar. Pathological Need for Love: Some seek love to fill voids, tolerating unhealthy dynamics for validation. Unconscious Mastery: Recreating trauma to gain control over it; seeking similar experiences for healing. Self-Perception: Internalized blame and shame may lead to acceptance of suffering or abuse. Generational Patterns: Dysfunctional dynamics passed down; breaking cycles requires healing trauma. Variable Reinforcement: Unpredictable highs and lows akin to gambling addiction. Fear of Loneliness and Low Self-Esteem: Keeps individuals in toxic relationships. How to Identify Toxicity If You’re the Recipient: Emotional Manipulation: Guilt-tripping, gaslighting. Controlling Behaviour: Jealousy, dictating actions. Lack of Support: Undermining goals. Constant Criticism: Persistent negative feedback. Blame Shifting: Refusal to take responsibility. Isolation: Cutting off from support systems. If You Might Be Perpetuating: Manipulative Behaviour: Emotionally controlling. Lack of Accountability: Blaming partner. Excessive Control: Dictating aspects of partner’s life. Emotional Instability: Mood swings, lashing out. Neglect or Dismissal: Ignoring partner’s needs. Jealousy and Possessiveness: Restricting freedom. General Indicators of a Toxic Relationship Consistent Unhappiness: Frequent anxiety or sadness. Conflict Patterns: Avoidance or intense arguments. Unresolved Issues: Persistent problems. Physical Symptoms: Health issues due to stress. Steps to Address Toxicity: Self-Reflection: Assess behaviors and impacts. Seek Professional Help: Therapy for strategies and support. Establish Boundaries: Clearly set and communicate limits. Improve Communication: Foster open, respectful dialogue. Self-Care and Support: Prioritize personal well-being. Understanding these factors helps break free from toxic patterns and foster healthier relationships. 🔗 Sources: Psychology Today: 3 Reasons Why People Chase Toxic Relationships Caron: Love Addiction and the Draw of Toxic Relationships Psychology Today: Why It Can Be So Hard to Break Free From a Toxic Relationship 💬👇 #MentalHealth #Relationships #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalIntelligence #Wellbeing #SelfCare #ToxicRelationships #HealthyRelationships #Therapy #TraumaRecovery

(1) 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐈 𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 🙇♂️ 🧠 Whenever I started a new job, I always felt inadequate for the job I was hired for, and I always tried to show off my skills at the beginning. Here is how this maladaptive coping mechanism worked for me (or did not): 🙉 Instead of working on what my team needed, I proactively came up with bigger tasks that I was not even asked for. I disregarded what my stakeholders expected from me because I thought those small tasks wouldn't be enough to impress them. 🙊 And yes, I wanted to impress them, because I wanted to feel accepted and feel secure. ☠ I wanted to feel secure, because I tied my self-worth and daily mental health tightly to how I feel at work. 🤔 This approach sometimes worked and actually impressed people. However, it caused loss of trust, too❗ When I look back, I can see that I should have just taken it easy and focused on the small things that were actually expected from me. I was already hired for that position, so there was no need to impress anyone. 💡 Building trust matters more than impressing others with risky stunts. Let's discuss: 1) Does any of these lines sound familiar? 2) Were there times when you felt stressed or inadequate, so you did riskier or bigger things to get others acceptance? 3) What were some other interesting coping mechanisms you developed at work? #mentalhealth #sharingiscaring #gamesindustry

How good are your people at coping with the aftermath of difficult situations or conversations? Do they deal with them in the moment and move on, or do they waste precious energy and resources replaying them afterwards, reliving the experience and suffering the associated emotions? I ask this because I was talking with a colleague who had been on the receiving end of a rant by a client. The encounter had left her visibly shaken and having to fight back the tears. The issue wasn’t so much the event, but the fact that she was telling me the story a week later, reliving both the drama and the emotion. Not helpful, but something that many of us do. Now, whilst it was a dreadful and unpleasant experience there are a few key points here: Reliving the experience in technicolour detail means we release the same stress chemicals we released at the time and we re-experience the emotions attached to it. Going over and over the story (which this individual had been doing) feeds and fuels it, giving it the oxygen it needs to continue to negatively impact us. Giving your team tools to handle difficult moments helps build resilience, which means we can focus on moving forward, not reliving the past! 🤷♀️So what can you do differently? How can you resiliently handle that difficult situation? Take a breath! This helps you to access the parasympathetic (calm) part of the nervous system. Recognise it's behavioural. It’s not personal. It's usually a result of them not coping and rarely anything to do with you. Take a metaphorical step back. Notice the other person “doing” the angry/aggressive/ranting etc. behaviour. Decide how you want to be, whilst recognising that no one can make you feel anything without you giving them your permission. Notice if you are starting to get caught up in their disaster movie and story. It's theirs. They can keep it! Sit back in your chair and observe them playing out their drama. Afterward, it can be useful to talk it over with a trusted colleague – once. Learn from it and park it. Move forward, don’t keep looking back!

How to Hug a Porcupine? Simple Ways to Love the Difficult People in Your Life by Debbie Joffe offers strategies for managing challenging relationships with empathy and understanding. Here are ten lessons from the book: 1. Understand the Porcupine: To effectively deal with difficult people, it’s crucial to understand their behavior and motivations. Empathy can help you respond to them in a way that addresses their needs while maintaining your own boundaries. 2. Set Boundaries: Establishing clear and respectful boundaries helps to manage interactions with difficult individuals. Boundaries protect your well-being and create a structured environment for healthier relationships. 3. Practice Patience: Patience is key when dealing with challenging behavior. Allow yourself time to respond thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively or emotionally. 4. Avoid Personalizing Their Behavior: Recognize that difficult behavior is often about the other person’s issues and not a reflection of your worth. Avoid taking their actions personally to reduce emotional impact. 5. Use Active Listening: Show genuine interest in what the difficult person is saying by actively listening. This involves reflecting back what you’ve heard and asking clarifying questions, which can help de-escalate tensions. 6. Communicate Clearly: Effective communication is essential. Express your thoughts and feelings honestly but respectfully, and make sure to listen to the other person’s perspective as well. 7. Stay Calm and Composed: Maintain your composure in the face of challenging behavior. Staying calm helps you think more clearly and respond in a measured way, which can defuse difficult situations. 8. Seek Common Ground: Find areas of agreement or shared interests that can serve as a foundation for more positive interactions. Focusing on common ground can help build rapport and ease conflicts. 9. Practice Forgiveness: Holding onto grudges can be detrimental to your own well-being. Practice forgiveness as a way to release negative feelings and move forward with a more positive outlook. 10. Take Care of Yourself: Ensure that you’re taking care of your own emotional and mental health. Engaging in self-care activities and seeking support from others can help you manage stress and maintain resilience when dealing with difficult people. These lessons emphasize the importance of empathy, clear communication, and self-care in handling challenging relationships effectively. Please share your experience #dealingwithdifficultpeople

Lock 'Em Down, Fort Knox Style... ...or toxic people - bullies, imposter leaders, drama royalty, energy vampires - will bust right on through your boundaries without giving a second thought. Get a step-by-step guide to locking down developing boundaries that work AT work right here: https://lnkd.in/enBD4-89 The reality is that temper tantrums and rage fests will ALWAYS be present when you attempt to uphold a boundary with a toxic person. Boundaries are non-existent concepts in toxic peoples' lives. They believe they should have unfettered access to everything in your life. Of course, anyone with a semblance of self-awareness or emotional intelligence or RESPECT realizes this isn't normal and that boundaries are quite healthy and necessary to protect your peace. Lock 'em down hardcore. You must be ruthless. You must be willing to stand up for your boundaries and endure temper tantrums, rage fits, begging, passive aggressive martyrdom...the whole kit-n-caboodle. Toxic people will come at you hard with every method to attempt to make you feel guilty for simply standing up for yourself and enforcing your boundaries. Do not give in. Be strong. Lock 'em down as tight as you possibly can and be RUTHLESS about enforcing them. And remember, you're not being difficult. You're not being selfish. You're not being mean. You're protecting your health, energy and your peace. Be kind, be good...and always keep your head on a swivel - Lauri ✅Find out today if you are the Target of a workplace bully by downloading this FREE guide: https://lnkd.in/ekA-ners ☑Schedule a discovery call with me to learn how I can help you through WBP Support Programs: https://lnkd.in/gA4znm6Q Here is what one person said about my work: 🔥 “Lauri is insightful, empathetic, powerful leader and an excellent listener. During our consultation, she provided resources and techniques and advice to thrive in my next position. I look forward to working with her again. Highly recommended." ~Anonymous Client P.S. Here are additional WBP resources for you to check out! ✅ Download FREE resources: https://lnkd.in/gPqGYw4U 📧 Join the WBP mailing list: https://lnkd.in/gtV-A54S 📢 Subscribe to Bully-Proof: Truth in Action here: https://lnkd.in/dh3S-YWJ ☕ Support WBP and Lauri's work and buy her a coffee: https://lnkd.in/gF9JBAX4 © 2024 Workplace Bullying Project LLC

Let’s Talk About Gaslighting: Recognizing Psychological Manipulation Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where one person seeks to make another doubt their own perceptions, feelings, or reality. It’s subtle yet powerful, often leading the target to question their memory, judgment, and even sanity. This tactic can appear in personal relationships, workplace dynamics, and even broader social contexts. How to Recognize Gaslighting: 1. Denial of Reality: Statements like, “That never happened,” or “You’re overreacting,” are used to invalidate the target’s experiences. 2. Twisting Conversations: Manipulators may distort events or selectively recall details to make the victim feel they’re at fault. 3. Undermining Confidence: Frequent questioning or criticism can make someone feel confused and uncertain about their own abilities or decisions. Why It Matters in the Workplace and Beyond Gaslighting can severely impact an individual’s mental health, work performance, and relationships. It leads to self-doubt, stress, and decreased productivity. Recognizing this behavior helps us create healthier, more supportive environments—whether at work or in personal relationships. Responding to Gaslighting If you suspect gaslighting: • Document Conversations: Keep records of interactions that feel manipulative. • Trust Your Intuition: Your feelings and perceptions are valid. • Set Boundaries: Recognize when to disengage and protect your well-being. Let’s build awareness around gaslighting and foster respectful, transparent communication in all areas of life. #Gaslighting #MentalHealthAwareness #WorkplaceWellness #EmotionalIntelligence #HealthyBoundaries #PsychologicalSafety

How to protect yourself from dark psychology at work: In the workplace, it's crucial to stay alert to behaviors that can harm your mental and emotional well-being. Dark psychology refers to manipulative strategies used to control, influence, or harm others, often without them realizing. Here are some ways to protect yourself: 1️⃣ Recognize the signs: Identify common tactics like emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and blackmail. Awareness is the first step in defending yourself. 2️⃣ Set clear boundaries: Don’t be afraid to say “no” or set firm limits with people who try to cross them. Protect your time and energy. 3️⃣ Stay objective: Dark psychology thrives on creating confusion and self-doubt. Practice critical thinking and stay calm to avoid falling for manipulative tactics. 4️⃣ Seek support: If you feel attacked or manipulated, don’t hesitate to speak with trusted colleagues or HR. You’re not alone in this. 5️⃣ Boost your self-esteem: When you have confidence in yourself, it’s harder for others to manipulate you. Work on self-awareness and personal growth. Protecting yourself from dark psychology is essential for maintaining a healthy work environment and your well-being. Have you ever encountered such behavior in your workplace? How did you handle it? #DarkPsychology #WorkplaceWellbeing #MentalHealth #Leadership #PersonalGrowth

Today I Received A Sad Text. 💔 An employee i used to manage reached out to me. She said " I wish you were still here, things are so different now ". Important notes: 1. This post is not to promote my skills, seriously no. This post is a reminder and message to managers. Yes, Ma-na-gers. 2. This post is not to throw shade to any parties. But, I will still speak up to whats right regardless without mentioning too much. A former employee I managed before texted me today. She was frustrated and hurt. She went on text by text, describing what happened to her in detail and asked me for my advice at the end of her words. I wont dive into details, but she was going through something. The same thing that made me choose myself and remove myself for my own good. The same reason, the same emotions. The frustration and hurt a human experiences when we feel unheard and unimportant. When i was managing my team, i built systems and tools to enable them to execute tasks as productive as possible. I conducted weekly meetings and make sure to address any concerns. Not only that, i worked on those concerns and appreciated the people around me. I showed them that I care, and I hear them. Ma-na-ger. Usually a sought after title, well atleast in the past. But very few truly understand the weight that word carries. Dont manage people. Manage emotions, manage expectations and most importantly keep people around you emotionally safe. There is nothing stronger than a team that believes in you, genuinely. Sadness and dissapointment lingers around me today, the best thing i could say to her was, " Im so sorry for what youre going through, please do whats best for your mental health. " Keep people happy, recognize them. It takes nothing to be kind, it takes everything to be unkind. Manage yourself, not people around you.