3 People at Work You Can Trust, and 3 You Can't

Do you work with a know-it-all? Or someone who loves to hear or tell a juicy story? What about a coworker who complains about the boss, or even the coffee in the breakroom? Someone who has a gripe about everything? Can you name that person at your job?

When it comes to trust, this kind of coworker doesn’t seem deserving—in fact, they are one reason we are constantly trying to discern who to turn to or who to be cautious around. In the workplace, low trust is just the beginning of all sorts of problems.

I didn’t always trust my coworker Carol, and if I’m honest it was for no good reason. She had done nothing suspicious, and yet when we first started working together, I carefully selected my words all the time. I was reluctant to share more about myself, even the safe details like how I spent my weekend.

Our relationship took a turn when she told me one of her fears about our job. I happened to have the same concern. She extended herself first, our shared vulnerability united us, and ultimately, how we worked together improved. These days there’s #nofilter and we quite simply accomplish more, faster.

I shouldn’t let my fears keep me from a healthy, productive working relationship with someone like Carol. Trust is the foundation for teamwork, and with it comes more ease in collaboration, communication, and ultimately, success. A trusting environment allows you to focus more on getting the work done and less on unproductive things like getting thrown under the bus.

But when not everyone should be trusted, how can you tell when it’s safe? 

Get to know the three types of people you should trust at work—and three you shouldn’t:

3 People You Can Trust:

1. Everyone. At first.

There’s a school of thought that trust should be earned. I offer the contrary: trust everyone when you meet them. To get, you’ve got to give, and trust is no exception. Waiting for someone to prove themselves adds to a culture of suspicion and doubt. What if the nature of a coworker’s role doesn’t allow you to witness the examples of honesty or selflessness you’re looking for? Will you never trust a person for that reason? By freely extending trust, you show your authenticity and the other person is likely to respond in kind.

2. Your mentor.

You’ll want, and need, a mentor to support you on your career journey. By selecting someone you can trust, you’ll be more candid and your mentor can better work with you on setting and achieving goals. Start each new mentoring relationship by ensuring confidentiality and let trust be one of the guiding principles. You will get the most out of the experience by being transparent and trusting the wisdom your mentor provides.

3. Yourself.

Developing confidence to trust yourself takes time, but instinct is a helpful tool when making decisions. Our intuition represents what we’ve learned from past experiences and helps shape how we view the world around us. Now, you shouldn’t allow your gut to create unfair biases, and it should never be all you consider, but you can use your inner voice to help make wise choices. As a rule of thumb, gut can help with data-based decisions but can be dangerous when used to assess other people. Here is a great article about "When to Go With Your Gut" by Jack Welch.

While we trust everyone at first, at some point, people begin to show their true colors. When the truth starts to come out pay attention to the signs and don’t be fooled, because some people shouldn’t be trusted.

3 People You Can’t Trust:

1. The Gossiper.

If a coworker has no sense of restraint when talking or repeats unconfirmed, unhelpful stories for sport, be wary. Office gossips are among the worst assailants of positive corporate culture and thrive on building their reputation at the expense of others. An office gossip is just looking for a way to mishandle even the most innocent bits of information. Don’t give them that opportunity. The best thing you can do is focus on the necessary facts of the job in all conversations and leave the rest to their imagination.

2. The Extremist.

Extremists go too far, too often. They are the dramatists, the exaggerators, the brown-nosers, the complainers. They are the over-doers. Extremists may not outwardly appear to be disloyal. They are simply so focused on seeking attention, that they often lose sight of the needs of others.

3. The Liar.

Whether a coworker has a pattern of telling white lies or turns out to be outright crooked, liars can’t be trusted. But how can you know when you’re being lied to? Not every liar gets caught right away, and some may escape notice completely. Spotting deception can be tricky and usually takes more than just a few times to notice a theme. When you identify a fibber in your midst, create distance to protect yourself and your work.

We don’t get to choose our coworkers, and that’s what makes trust all the more important—it helps build common ground. By showing yourself to be an honest person who treats others with care, you’ll quickly see that trust is the greatest currency you have! Use wisdom and watch for patterns as you build confidence in your sense of discernment. Some people will persist in their untrustworthy ways. You’ll find, however, that most people can be counted on and are waiting to be trusted. Give them that chance.

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