When to STFU at Work

Loose lips sink ships, and in the workplace, they are a surefire career derailer. While I am a big believer in letting opinions be known, outspokenness should never be an excuse for careless talk. Thoughtfully timed communication is the best way to gain respect for your input, and instincts.

Here are five occasions at work when you should do yourself a favor and shut up:

1. You’re too upset to be rational. Speaking out of emotion can be harmful at any time. In the workplace, it can cost you your job, and that's exactly what happened to my friend, Veronica. Veronica’s coworker sent an email accusing her of dropping the ball in an important process – something Veronica didn’t feel was her job. After several messages had been exchanged, each more scathing than the last, Veronica decided to take the conversation offline. She stormed over to her coworker’s desk and told him where he could “put his process.” Their supervisor’s office door was open a few steps away, and she was left with no choice but to fire Veronica. It’s been a couple of years, and Veronica can now make light of it. She wasn’t thinking rationally and realizes the emotions she followed weren’t the right ones.

2. You don’t have all the facts. There’s a myth that everybody should be ready to talk on the fly. While you may have an opinion, it’s dangerous to open your mouth when you don’t have all the facts. Not only can you damage your credibility, but you can also contribute to gossip or misinformation. Maybe you’ve been asked to give input, and you don’t have the full story? The best response is to offer a brief, caveated point-of-view with a promise to follow up later.

3. Someone you trust urges you to hold off. If you haven’t yet surrounded yourself with people who can tell you when to chill, find that crew soon. The benefit of having relationships like this is they will catch you before you do something you might regret. If mentors or trusted advisers encourage you to be quiet – just for a while – believe them. Sometimes they may have an insight you don’t have yet. Other times, they may not know more at all about the situation, but see or sense something in your potential response (a character issue, an attitude, a tone) that needs to be curbed.

4. Your gut says so. Your inner voice is one of the best checks when you’re unsure. It’s a good idea always to pause before you speak. I haven’t mastered this, but I try my best to wait even just a few seconds to give my head, heart and mouth time to sync. When my gut is telling me to shut up, but the rest of me wants to react, I slowly count to five in my head. The next words out of my mouth are usually, “I’m processing what you said, give me one minute.” This allows just enough time to be more thoughtful and self-aware in my response and to avoid saying something I may later regret.

5. The point you want to make has already been said. Ever been in a meeting and someone repeats what’s already been stated? Of course you have! We’ve all been there and felt annoyed about the time wasted on redundancy. If someone else has already made a point and it’s not being disputed, there’s no reason for you to say it again. Don’t talk just to hear yourself speak. Save your breath and everyone’s time by simply sitting there and staying quiet.

Being articulate and expressive are indispensable professional skills, and everyone wants to be heard. For maximum gravitas, practice selective silence. You’ll find there are times when saying nothing at all is the best way to move a conversation forward.

What would you add to the list of occasions when it's best to be quiet? Share in the comments.

Photo Credit: Prote'-Jay Productions

A version of this article was originally published on Black Enterprise.com.