3 questions to ask yourself (and tips to read) before you start writing

(And why "caring is sharing"?)

Last year (2018) someone asked me, on a social media platform, how do I manage to keep my readers engaged. Yesterday, someone else, from the same social media platform, asked me for advice about how to start writing.

If these two scenarios may seem to have nothing to do with one another (and the title), then you will probably find this article useful.

Questions to ask yourself before you start writing

"Should I write for myself or for the audience?"

This is one of the questions I get asked a lot. And, deep within, I believe that people ask this as they would like to let their pens express their feelings; yet they are afraid of not getting the audience they envision.

Unfortunately, their fear has a lot to do with the fact that 99% of the people look at numbers. So we can say that it's, somehow, justified. And I can relate (both from the fear and numbers perspectives) as I was there myself.

In my early days as a writer, my greatest wish was to have thousands of people following me. I felt an urge to expose my thoughts and have them spread as widely as possible. Because, in the end, a writer is nothing about an audience. (Although I could counter this too - we'll probably get there a bit further in this article, if you read between the lines). Nonetheless, beneath this urge of gathering numbers, what prevailed was actually my need of healing my soul. And that remains the same until this day.

Become self-aware

Thus, before answering the question "Who do I write for", take your time to answer another (I believe more important) question:

1. "What is my purpose for writing?"

There is no right or wrong answer to this question, as we all have different principles, visions and priorities we live our lives by. Giving ourselves objective and fair answers, however, brings us in a state of awareness. Which will make the process of writing better. The more we understand our own selves (what brings us joy and what turns off our passion for writing), the more chances we get to find a niche. Which, they say, it's a key aspect every writer should have in mind.

2. Once you draw a conclusion about your why, the next step would be to inquire about the how.

As weird as it may sound, there is a clear purpose behind the second question. And the reason is that the style you find easy (natural) to write in will clearly determine the who.

For this, I encourage you to make the following exercise: have a pen and paper (or a blank document on your laptop/ phone, if it comes easier) and start writing. Don't think, just write.

Analyze your flow

By the time you finished writing, you will feel relieved. Now, read what you wrote, once. How does it make you feel? Is it something you would put out? If yes, read it again. This time, from a technical standpoint - which is the style your hand (better said, your heart) chose. And answer this (or make some research if you're not familiar with the writing styles or tones of voice): is your writing personal) just for your own self), casual (for any eye), business (more rigid), a mix (casual and business), technical (focused on "how to" - most probably due to influences from your area of work), narrative, creative, full of details or more vague?

In answering all these, you find the real you! So, keep this in mind: irrespective of your answer, do not criticize yourself. If you do, chances are you will never write again. Instead, try observing from the outside. As if it was the first time you read someone else's text.

Next, analyze the flow of your writing. Do your ideas have a nice continuation? Or did you just write down ideas that you need to further on re-position or restructure, in order to get a readable text? In fewer words, is your text messy or organized?

Again, there's no judgement here. It's only an exercise that will make you more aware of self. Again, remember that the writing happens without thinking about the act in itself and without considering technical details, as it happens. But this analysis is an aspect you shouldn't overlook. Because the result you want to put out needs to be clean, right?

Tip: If I don't like the text I just wrote, I will never publish it, no matter how many great reactions I may get from people, in a private space. On the flip side, if I love it (yes, it may sound weird, but you will understand why it is this way) I will publish it. It's important to assess your writing yourself and remain true to who you are.

Observe the topic. Now that you understood the style you love to write in and the flow of your thoughts on paper, look at the topic. Read it for the 3rd time. What did you write about?

This is a very important part, as that is who you are, deep within. (Of course, considering that you took my advice and wrote without thinking.)

At this stage, you already know the who. Technically, the topic tells you what you like to write about the most. And this gives you a critical answer for "Who do I want to share my message with?".

So, here's your audience. ☺

3. OK, but I still don't get it. Should I write for myself or for the audience?

Let me go back to the beginning of this article. I mentioned that someone asked me how I managed to keep my audience engaged. And I also said that, in my first months of making my writing public, I wanted a lot of people to read what I write.

In the meantime, however, I realized one very important thing: most of my writing is, before anything else, a note to self. Because my passion for writing started with the need of getting to know myself better, while going through a less fortunate time of my existence. What writing did for me was to open my eyes.

As a short example, if I wanted to express my disappointment in someone (we're all humans that evolve, right?) the text that came out of that was actually the opposite. It was a note to self to look beyond my hurt and try to understand the other person. This is how "Broken wing" shaped up. And most of the articles on my website.

From this example, you probably already understand my answer. Primarily, until this day, I write for myself. But the readership that has built up over time was precisely because of that. I am not afraid of exposing my thoughts, irrespective of who's reading. It's my journey and I have the right to share whatever I please, about my existence. You will see, however, that 99% of my writing has self-development as topic. And people relate. And, despite the heavy masks most of them carry around, they love learning from other people's experiences.

The answer I gave to the person asking me how I keep my audience engaged was this:

"I don't try hard to do so. Who doesn't like it, it's not my audience."

In other words, I've become aware of the fact that my writing is not for everyone. Because I serve my truth on a silver plate and some people are not ready to take it.

But that's totally fine. I've made peace with the fact that I can't please everyone. And I also made peace with the fact that who I am will never change in order to please others. I aim to become a better self, a person I feel good about hanging with.

Caring is sharing

 Write for yourself! The audience will establish itself as soon as you know who you are. Don't worry about the numbers. It's better to build a loyal, genuine and engaged readership over time, than to pile up some numbers on a list. Numbers will only boost your ego, but they will say nothing about you as a person or the quality of your writing. Take quality over quantity! Always!

They say "Sharing is caring". But I say "Caring is sharing". Because this is how we learn. And learning helps us grow, under all aspects. That's why I put this article together, in the first place. Because I care about how you treat your own self, before anything (and anyone) else .

Much love,

A. 

🖋️ 💙

*****

About the author:

Andrada Anitei is a passionate writer & editor, using self-development as cornerstone for everything she does. She started her writing adventure as a manner of coping with life and healing older wounds and she fell in love with this craft.

She has been blessed with an extraordinary passion, curiosity, eagerness to understand, fast learning abilities and interest in various areas, active listening skills and lots of love for people. She believes in the beauty of souls, despite nowadays trends. In fact, she embraces the "weirdo" within, while giving her inner child full permission to play.

Being a stubborn believer in beauty and magic, she has looked for and learned plenty of life stories in 2018, as she interviewed over 50 people in 6 months (you can find all the interviews by browsing through articles here on LinkedIn) and she is carrying on this adventure via her podcast show called Impact By Choice, which can be listened to here.

Her first book "The Man, the Moon and the Casquette" can be found on Amazon, both as e-book and in paperback format.

#7Padlocks - the book - is planned to be out by the end of 2019.