Active Listening: The Fastest Way to Win People Over

Have you ever been speaking with someone and realized they had no interest in anything you have to say?

They interrupt you or talk over you.

You see them looking around the room for someone else.

They continuously bring the conversation back to themselves and never ask you any questions. 

This is a TERRIBLE feeling whether you’re in a sales call, a staff meeting, or just having dinner with a friend.

There is no faster way to make someone feel small and damage trust than poor listening.

On the other hand, being a good listener is the fastest way to endear someone to you by way of showing respect, interest, and appreciation.

Listening actively is an underrated art form. And it’s a skill that can be learned — I help people with active listening often in my role as a coach and in DiSC trainings. 

By understanding yourself and others better, you can become a master listener.

You will show people how much you value them. You can respond in ways that are most helpful to your friends and colleagues. And you’ll have a HUGE advantage when it comes to all things business, too. It will be easier to close your deals, lead your team, climb the corporate ladder… Whatever your big goal is, being a great listener is KEY to helping you get there.

Here’s what you need to know about listening, broken down by your DiSC style.

(Not sure your DiSC style? No problem. Click over to find out which one you resonate with most.)

How to be a better listener, by personality profile.

Listening tips for D styles.

D-styles tend to be direct and action-oriented. Most D-styles can improve their listening skills by slowing down and connecting more deeply with their counterparts.

Ask questions. Sometimes a simple re-word of what you’ve heard is all it takes. But asking a couple follow-up questions to make sure you’ve understood will help you slow down and help the other person feel heard and understood.

Have empathy. Don’t gloss over the feelings of your counterpart. Let them know that you empathize with what they’re saying. 

Be patient. D styles tend to move fast. That means, it can be difficult for them to wait for their conversation partner to finish a thought before they jump in. Resist that urge.

Listening tips for I styles.

I-styles are often enthusiastic, encouraging, and open. But be careful not to dominate the conversation.

Manage your enthusiasm. Sometimes i-styles have difficulty reining in their enthusiasm. That might mean they chime in too quickly or interrupt their counterparts mid-sentence. 

Stay focused. You’re so people-oriented, it’s easy to let the conversation veer off into unrelated territory. Make sure your stories are relevant to the topic at hand.

Listening tips for S styles.

S styles are naturally great listeners because of their interest in people and their patience. Their challenge is often to make sure their voices are heard.

Speak up. Patience is a great quality. But don’t listen so patiently that you never speak up to offer your insights. (Even if that means you have to disagree or say no--not things that are natural to this people-pleasing style.)

Look outside of the box. Sometimes this style’s desire for stability might mean they’re hesitant to embrace change, even if it’s an improvement. 

Listening tips for C styles.

C-styles tend to be analytical and discerning. This style can improve their listening by remembering that their counterpart is human and might crave connection, too.

Practice putting yourself in their shoes. Pause before you respond and think about how your counterpart might be feeling. Don’t jump straight to objections or criticism. 

Don’t immediately offer solutions. C styles are solutions-oriented. But some problems need more input and brainstorming. Give others space to share their thoughts before jumping in with a solution.

Do you work on your listening skills? What tip do you resonate with the most? (Comment below and let me know!)