The Authentic Path: Balancing Truth and Kindness for Genuine Selfhood

Be authentic. A quick Google search shows that the searches for this term total somewhere in the vicinity of one billion, eight hundred and thirty million, but who's counting anyway?

We frequently hear talk of authenticity, whether it's on social networking sites, in-office meetings, leadership discussions, or at networking events. It's portrayed as a quest for ordinary people to be "more" themselves and "less" of what they feel society pressures them to be. It's seen as a license to unequivocally, yet respectfully, be your true self.

Yet, amid this well-intentioned journey, we've often lost sight of what being genuinely authentic entails. It's not about donning a cloak of infallibility or using our authentic selves as an excuse to trample over others' feelings. It's about being real, yes, but still considerate of those around us. Our authenticity should never justify rudeness or unkindness. 

Time and again, I see earnest individuals mistakenly using their pursuit of authenticity as an excuse for detrimental remarks or unsolicited advice. 

Genuine authenticity is not doggedly asserting your 'truth,' regardless of the potential harm your words might inflict on others. Nor is it intentionally causing discomfort while claiming to simply express yourself. This behavior is not a demonstration of authenticity; instead, it displays a lack of tact.

Let's clarify one thing: Authenticity at its core purpose is beautiful. It's the very essence needed in our boardrooms, on stages, and yes, even here on social media. The problem lies in our misunderstanding of what it truly means to be authentic.

Being authentic is about being true to your core person. Your values, your spirit, and your core self. In a nutshell, it's about having the words that leave your lips and the actions that make up your day match who you know you are on the inside.

Indeed, authenticity carries its own sense of duty. In reality, a myriad of thoughts swirl in my head throughout the course of the day. Often, these thoughts are reflections and assessments of another individual's actions or decision-making skills. Sometimes, I question why someone might behave in a certain way or tread a path that appears less than ideal. In these very instances, I acknowledge that these reflections are my own and aren't necessarily meant to be shared with everyone.

A method I've found very helpful in maintaining the balance between being true to yourself and being kind to others involves asking yourself some critical questions before sharing your thoughts out loud:

1. Is it True? Before you rush to share your views, stop and think. Are you sharing facts backed by actual evidence or just what you believe? Remember, everyone can have their own opinions, but it's essential to make clear when something is just your personal view, not a proven fact. If you mix up your beliefs as facts, you could damage your own reputation and mislead or upset others. Authentic truth-telling is about sharing unbiased, factual information, not simply airing your own perspectives. 
2. Is it Helpful/Necessary? Before speaking, consider whether what you say is essential. Sometimes, we easily mistake our desire to express views or vent feelings for the necessity of sharing thoughts. Authenticity embodies a deep sense of responsibility, discerning between what needs to be said and what we want to say. Sharing unnecessary information, especially if it may cause harm or discomfort to others, isn't commendable or authentic. After all, authenticity is as much about restraint and silence as it is about vocalizing oneself. 
3. Is it Kind/How Will It Impact Others? Lastly, before finalizing what you're about to share, ponder about its impact. Will it constructively contribute to the conversation or inadvertently harm somebody? Remember, authentic communication respects the inherent worth of all individuals, including yourself and others around you. Authenticity is about honest conversations, yes—but those conversations should be grounded in empathy and respect. Your words have a broader impact than you may realize, playing a role in setting the tone of your interactions and relationships.

Final thought: Authentic living isn't about just 'speaking the truth' but also about understanding boundaries and weighing the potential impact of your words on others. Always ask yourself: Is it true? Is it necessary? How will it impact others? 

By answering these three questions before you speak, you step forward with authenticity, fostering an environment that respects boundaries and uplifts both you and others around you. That's the power of living authentically. 

How can I practice authenticity in my daily life?

So you might be asking yourself how can I begin to unravel the chains and live more authentically? Well, shaping a life of authenticity starts with small with simple, everyday choices.

Here are a few strategies to help you imbue authenticity in your daily routine: 

Self Awareness 

First things first, it's essential to cultivate self-awareness. Recognize your emotions, the choices you make, and the impact they have on others. Knowing yourself allows you to make choices that align with your core beliefs and values. And remember, self-awareness is a continuous journey, not a destination. 

Know Your Core Values

To truly embody authenticity, you must deeply understand your core values. These values are the pillars that construct your character and ethics. When you're aware of your values, your actions reflect them, your words align with them, and you're naturally more authentic because you live in accord.

Embrace Vulnerability 

Being authentic often means opening up and embracing vulnerability. Understand that having doubts, asking, and being unsure is okay. Vulnerability fosters trust and helps you build relationships based on understanding and mutual respect. 

Respect Boundaries 

Respect personal and emotional boundaries for yourself and others. Respecting boundaries teaches us not to impose our 'truth' on others. Instead, create a space where everyone can openly share their thoughts and feelings. 

Show Empathy 

Empathy forms a fundamental part of authentic living. Authentic people understand the feelings of others and respond with kindness and respect. Remember, it's not always about agreeing with others but respecting their perspectives and experiences. 

To wrap it up, living authentically is about adhering to your core beliefs and norms, empathizing with others, embracing vulnerability, and constantly striving towards self-improvement- all while maintaining respect for others. It's a journey that starts with small steps and evolves over time.

So, continue asking yourself those three crucial questions, pursuing self-awareness, and fostering relationships built on mutual respect. You can set off on your path of authentic living today.

Cheers to your beautiful authentic self!

Terri-Ann Richards

Terri-Ann Richards is the founder of Lighthouse Leaders Group a boutique leadership development coaching and workplace happiness training company, and is a highly sought after professional speaker.

With over two decades of diverse industry experience, Terri-Ann's unyielding commitment to understanding audiences is reflected in her personalized approach to every training session and keynote speech. She helps leaders and their teams develop the human-skills required to both grow and navigate in our ever changing environment.