No Bad Words

My mother was a teacher before she was a nurse. Her grammar corrections never failed. It wasn't always easy. To make me even more sensitive, when she wasn't around, my brother would happily (and not always nicely) correct any language mishap I may have uttered. Like most of my friends, there were some words that were not acceptable to use in our household.

Years ago when he was in third grade, I heard our older son sharing one of those words with his little brother. I was shocked. Where had he heard THAT word? It took me a moment to respond.

Please don't use that word, Jacob. You know we don't use language like that in our house.

Why?

Because it's generally not descriptive, it doesn't add value to your sentence. Besides, when people use language like that a lot, it makes them sound sort of stupid and ignorant. It makes it seem like the person doesn't have a broad enough vocabulary to come up with more descriptive language. You also have to know your audience. Always remember that the language you use with your friends can be very different from language you would use around your mother, your grandmother, your teachers and other adults, right?

A few weeks later when we were at Costco, Jacob slipped and fell and hit his head on a pallet on the floor. Ouch.

Mom? Can I say "shit?"

Yes, Jacob, this is a perfectly appropriate time to use that word as an exclamation.

SHIT.

The one word my mother and I both insist on avoiding is hate. Words cannot be bad, they're just words; only the intention behind words can be bad. The word hate comes from fear and anger. People who allow hate into their vocabulary allow hate into their hearts. Hate leads to violence, never - ever - to love or peace.

As my friend Sarah McCabe said, "Words are the most powerful tools ever created." Words are powerful tools in the mouths & minds of humans, words themselves do not have power.

Have you ever thought about the word hate? Have we watered down the meaning of that word? Is there a word that is beyond hate? What does it mean to you, as opposed to the word love?

Here's a challenge: The next time you hear yourself or someone in your life use the word hate, think about the context. Do you really hate red lights? Lines at the grocery store? A political figure you've never met? Does it help to hate these things? Is it really hate, or is it more dislike or disagree?

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About me:

My expertise in training and facilitating in the customer service environment comes from myriad service-related experiences -- from many years in the restaurant industry to collecting data for financial reporting to the federal government. A skilled teacher and entertaining speaker, I offer customer service trainings and workshops and I'm regularly asked to speak about subjects such as customer service, diversity issues, and being Jewish in Montana.

I believe in being human in all our faults and beauty in every environment. If you think you can separate your personal and professional brands, you're delusional. I share my thoughts on this via Twitter sometimes, @sarahelkins.