The Beautiful Art of Giving

Do you ever feel that when you’ve done something for someone, they owe you something in return? You know the feeling? You do a favour for anyone and you naturally expect them to reciprocate and do something for you? When you think about it, this simple attitude seems to underlie most human transactions, whether personal, commercial, emotional or political. We usually do things in order to receive something in return.

It’s a very appealing concept because it seems to reflect the time-honoured system of barter that humans have used for thousands and thousands of years to exchange goods and services. But does it really have to apply to everything we do?

 No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another. ― Charles Dickens

Even apparently selfless acts of giving can appear to be contaminated by the feelings of self-satisfaction or superiority that often accompany such gestures of goodwill. It certainly seems that we’re not very good at giving without the thought of receiving. We’re deeply programmed to expect something in return for whatever we do.

And why would this be a problem?

The drawback with this attitude is that it often intrudes into our personal relationships. We’re taught to play according to commonly-accepted principles of fairness. We’re encouraged to share and to avoid being selfish. We’re conditioned to respect the needs of others. And these are all very useful traits for helping us to function comfortably within most social environments. But this deeply-rooted concept of fairness can become distorted. Especially in the field of our emotional needs. The distortion reveals itself most often in the realm of our close relationships. And this is an area where many people experience difficulties, confusion, contradictions and conflict.

Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make - makes you. Choose wisely. ― Roy T. Bennett

The answer to this sometimes-troubling aspect of human relationships is to learn to give without demanding anything in return.

In fact, if there’s one commodity within the broad range of human interaction that can transform relationships and improve the quality of life – it’s the gift of generosity.

Strangely, this idea doesn’t always meet with immediate approval. We can see that it would contradict the old principles of ‘fairness’, the situations where we give and receive in clearly-understood packets of exchange, whether this involves money, actions, labour, support, goods or emotions. The principle is deeply-engrained in our psyche.

But in the field of human interactions, this principle needs to be revised. When you feel able to give without expecting anything in return, especially to those who are close to you, you set up a dynamic that is both liberating and empowering. You set an example of the spirit of generosity that doesn’t require recognition or return. It’s the powerful act of giving simply because you’ve chosen to give.

Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance. ― Roy T. Bennett

In reality, if we accept the premise that everything is deeply connected, your act of giving does not operate in isolation. It ripples out like the waves in a pond when you drop a stone into the water. Your act of generosity can provide a catalyst for profound change in someone’s life. Your words and gestures might lift someone up when they’re feeling overwhelmed. Your simple act of generosity might be all the proof someone needs to show them that they truly deserve to be loved, to be helped, to be respected and to feel worthwhile. In many ways, these outcomes are priceless. And they’re the product of a selfless and unconditional gesture of generosity.

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. ― Kahlil Gibran

Giving is a truly wonderful way to feel empowered in your life. It turns your focus away from your personal thoughts, worries and concerns and focuses your attention on the needs of others. When you recognise that you can make a positive difference to others without being attached to the outcome, without needing or expecting anything in return, your perspective broadens and you learn to appreciate how much power that each of us possesses to make the world a better place.

 The most truly generous persons are those who give silently without hope of praise or reward. ― Carol Ryrie Brink

The best place to launch this great adventure in selfless generosity is with those who are closest to you. It’s in these relationships that the dreaded Profit and Loss Accounting System usually shows up. And this is where we can experience the freedom of giving our love and care and support without demanding anything in return. But you should be prepared for some unexpected results. The spirit of selfless generosity is a potent force for change in the world and a revolutionary power that seeks to set us free from the chains of selfishness.

When you introduce these practices into your life, the benefits might extend much further than you ever imagined. By touching the lives of others with the spirit of generosity, you experience a sense of freedom and empowerment that cannot be framed within the normal, expected returns that characterise the old ways of giving and receiving. Selfless generosity paves the way to personal freedom and enriches the lives of those whom you touch so lightly - yet also so profoundly.

For it is in giving that we receive. ― St. Francis of Assisi

Make today the moment when you learn to give without any thought of reward or return. Learn to appreciate the power of giving as a way of perfect self-expression. Choose to be free from the chains that bind you to selfishness. Give because it is the most natural thing you can possibly do.

Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others. ― Brian Tracy

If you enjoy these blogs, you can imagine how much fun it is to have Greg in the room as an inspirational and highly perceptive speaker. If you’d like to invite Greg to talk to your company or organisation or event, either in person or via a live link on the Internet, feel free to get in touch.

You can contact Greg and his Team at:

gregory.s.parry@gmail.com